i am supposed to be married to a very close knitted family with very strong values, something which i have been wishing for since young. yet, i found my in-laws unbearable, whatever "good" gestures they try on me seem to be very imposing and Im extremely sensitive to their presence in my life. My husband is sandwiched & he has been trying unsuccessfully to reconcile any misunderstanding. I cannot stand the sight or thought of them. i told him i wanted absolutely no contact. Am i normal? Am i the unreasonable one? what can i do to like & to accept them? oh, i feel so mean and wicked!
2007-08-12 00:30:06 · 8 answers · asked by noelle12345 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have problems with my in law too. The only thing you can really do is have minimal contact. It's not fair to your husband to not go to family gatherings and such. Also make sure they know that they are doing something wrong in the first place. When you are around them try your hardest to just get along out of respect for your husband, and buy a punching bag to vent when they are gone.
2007-08-12 00:42:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in same situation but its my family.Im not married and my family is very close knit theres no escaping them.Wherever go and whatever do they are still there.Its so hard since im like always thinking whats going on and what to do.Its been happening from very long time.I just want to go away and never come back since im feeling so suffocated.You know to save this relationship with your in laws unless its an emergency dont ever be in the same room as them take some time out.Since if you keep hiding how you feel and keep being in their presence as they say familiarity breeds contempt things will go very wrong and you will spoil your relations very badly for life atleast for your husband.
2007-08-12 07:48:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder...
If you come from a similar family background, you probably be prepared to expect such "good" gestures.
If you come from a totally different family background, you probably find difficult to adapt to such family. That why, you may envy such family but it didn't occur to you how much time and effort were required to form closely knitted family.
Building rapport and relationship takes time and effort, maintaining it and keeping it harmonious is even more challenging. Accepting your husband would also means accepting where he comes from, i.e. his family.
You need not rush to reconcile all misunderstanding at once, but least you could try to accept what they are because they are also trying to accept what you are.
2007-08-12 08:21:56 · answer #3 · answered by charmvinci 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are mean and a bit wicked.
You can't simply remove them from his life. You ought to know that they are always going to be in his life. You are practically marrying into that family too. You should have known that when you got together with your man. If he can accept your family, why can't you be a good woman about it and accept his family? Instead of being negative, try to find ways to deal. So, get over it and be the bigger person and remain nice to them; when you see them. -It isn't like you have to live with them...
-Good luck.
2007-08-17 20:52:11 · answer #4 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i also have bad experiences with the in-laws. the situation u r in is almost all the same to mine. i'm married for more than one year...and still i feel like an outsider in the house i live in. no, u r not abnormal or unreasonable. i think, living with the in-laws is never a good idea. u have my deepest sympathy. wish u all the best to overcome the bad situation.
2007-08-12 07:43:22 · answer #5 · answered by Wonderful 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try the 3 'c's. communicate, compromise and be candid. u don't sound clear about what is so unbearable, so narrowing it down will help u figure out misinterpretations or conflicts that get bigger because people don't say what they mean. u r not unreasonable, just be clear in your mind and your words what is really troubling u.
2007-08-12 13:27:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had problems with my inlaws it was actually my x's mom. she was a witch and every chance she got she would do mean things. anyhow you can try a few times and if it doesn't suit you then stay away from them and just communiate with hubby about this and be truthful with him. he will know and see it right away. its hard to do but i did it
2007-08-16 23:09:32 · answer #7 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your decision. You're not going to like everyone in this world you meet, including in-laws.
2007-08-12 09:01:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋