Dark Carnation
at night I lay listening
to the rain and the world below
my heart's a dark carnation
sensuously brushing against your window
close your eyes, my love
listen to the whispering rain
my heart's a dark carnation
fervant reds sifting through your pane
oh, feel the earth spinning spinning
as I slowly weave into your dreams
my heart's a dark carnation
from which a bounteous passion streams
close your eyes, open your eyes
feel the whole of my love raining down on you
my heart's a dark carnation
sailing for miles, its centre of fire to you
quickly now before the dawn
close your eyes, my desire and my sweet
my heart's a dark carnation
a thousand flowers between your breast and feet
2007-08-12 00:27:27 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I am just gathering up comments as it is good to know what others think. As it always helps since others look at things in different light
2007-08-12 00:28:46 · update #1
Poetry comes from deep within us some of it dark some light, yours is filled with sexual undertones when i read it i get a mental picture of a man and women, the man is expressing his deepest desires for this woman's body, and how strongly he feels to have her and worship her whole being.... it's quite beautiful but still needs a little work in some areas.
2007-08-12 01:35:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yawn
2007-08-12 00:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by Canute 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love this poem and I think you're very talented.
Rhyme, scheme and meter are all there. A very nice piece of work. Thank you for sharing it.
2007-08-12 00:46:47 · answer #3 · answered by Firespider 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A really good use of language and imagery.
Keep writing my friend.
2007-08-12 21:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked it very much
2007-08-12 00:44:18 · answer #5 · answered by Magster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very creative, and from the heart. I like it! ;)
2007-08-12 00:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by ~dreamvette~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very expressive ... romantic.
2007-08-12 00:34:33 · answer #7 · answered by elflaeda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahhhhhhhhhhh x romantic x
2007-08-12 06:22:16 · answer #8 · answered by orac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thanks for that, Ive had a hangover all day and was unable to vomit, after reading such shite I heaved no problem....
2007-08-12 00:36:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
MARRY ME!!
2007-08-12 00:34:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋