was dicussing this with my grandmother (baby names)?

Question

i am really indicisive (hence the 20 questions on answers about baby names) and i was discussing baby names with my grandmother.

i like the idea of calling my baby (if it is a boy) Michael Anthony as that was the name of my uncle, who i never met, who died of TB at 19 years old.
i thought it would be nice to honour him, as i know my grandmother misses him terribly as he was her first born. however my grandmother told me that this was not a good idea and that she would be very upset at the thought of this and would not want to see him and that it would be selfish.

does anyone else think this is selfish? or is it a good idea?

what i haven't said is that aside from my brothers, my babies and my husband, my grandmother is the only family i have and we are quite close

Answer 1

I wanted to name my daughter 'hannah' when I was pregnant with her and told my grandmother this. Turns out that her first husbands mothers name was hannah and she had a lot of problems with her that she didn't get into the specifics of but when I asked my mum about it, she just said that it would dredge up too many bad memories for my grandmother and that if i wanted to be sensitive to it then I wouldn't use the name.

Maybe she does not want you to use the name as it might not be a pleasant reminder/thing for her. There may be something she is not telling you. I would not use the name if she has specifically asked you not to. Its not selfish but may be a little insensitive to her.

Good luck, try using another family name if you really want to but only as the middle name, maybe this way you can just say it was co-incidental if anyone picks up on it.

Answer 2

Hi There
I think your grandmother is still grieving over the loss of her son and the way that he died. If you have a son and call him by the name of her son, this is only going to add to her grief and will always be a reminder of what she has lost. Have you considered using either Michael or Anthony as a middle name only? In this way you can still honour his memory and not upset your grandmother so much. I don't think she intends to hurt you by saying your idea is selfish, she is just feeling very vulnerable at the moment especially with the birth of your baby so close. Just talk to her and maybe ask her to help you choose a name and then she may feel more involved. I hope the birth goes well.

Answer 3

I think that you maybe have to go along in some way with your grandmother's wishes. Have you, by the way, asked her for any alternative ideas about names? You might be able to reach a compromise to have Michael or Anthony as the middle name, ultimately it is up to you, but as you have indicated her 'blessing' is important.
I actually love Michael as a name although it's quite widely used, not such a fan of Anthony though, always gets shortened to sound something like a sleazy hairdresser.
I think Michael means something like 'angel of God', maybe you could combine it with a more unusual first or second name to make it something a bit more individualistic.
This probably hasn't been of any help at all, but all the best anyway to you, the little one and your grandmother!

Answer 4

Maybe it is too painful for your grandma because she will have to call someone else Michael Anthony who is not her son. Looking at the baby and calling him that will only make her miss him more. Also, maybe your grandmother is superstitious and thinks that it is bad luck to name him Michael, as if he will die of TB or something. I don't think that you are selfish but I don't think it's a good idea.

Answer 5

It may just be too upsetting for her to see someone with her son's name. Maybe give him the name Michael or Anthony as a middle name and go with something else as a first name. Maybe name him after your husband or something.

Answer 6

I too was in the same situation with my grandmother. I was gonna name my girl after my aunt who passed away at 40 from brain aneysum. She said that it wouldn't be very good idea. So I never did. Maybe you could name your boy like Anthony Michael, it's the same name you wanted but just switch around. Good luck!

Answer 7

Isabel Christina Bella Krystene (spell it alittle diffrent) Christine Isabel Yasmine Christine Ysabella potential Gods present or Gods pomise. so does Alisa Alyssa Arlene Betsy Betty Elizha so which you will desire to do something like that listed below are some kinds of Christina Christy Christy Christyn Chrysonoe Chrysostom Chryssa Chrysta Chrystal Chrystal Chrystay . Chrystina . Chunta . Churchill Churchyll Chushan Chu'si Chuslum . Chuza Chuza Chval Chwalibog Chyna Chynna Chyse . Cian Cian Ciana Cianan Ciar Ciara i like Isabella or Ysabella Chrystene because of the fact they soundd so good and pass large wish I helped Congrats lower back you ought to use a sort of Isabella like bella bell issy ella and christine christy ciara (sierra)

Answer 8

I don't think selfish is the right word for it but i'm not sure what is. I wouldn't use it though, if she doesn't approve. It might be painful (like, make her think of him more or replacing him) for her which might be why she thinks your being selfish and not thinking of others. Maybe you could use Anthony Michael or Michael or Anthony as middle or first names seperately. If you have a girl you could use Michaela.

Answer 9

I don't think it's selfish, but if it hurts Grandma I probably wouldn't do it. Maybe just choose one of the names like Michael David , Michael Bradley or Anthony James, Anthony Mark

Answer 10

Hmm...it sounds to me as if she's the one being a bit selfish. It's your baby and you can name him what you like. However, if you are as close to your grandmother as you claim you are, why would you do something that you know will upset her? You wouldn't. So give the child his own identity in this case. Maybe use Michael or Anthony as a middle name, if it will not upset Grandma too much.