Emotionally and I told him that he hurt me (a few nights ago). We had a big fight and he got pretty upset and blamed himself. We talked about it, sorted it out and I thought we were fine, but he is still blaming himself.
He's scared to get close to me because he's scared he'll hurt me again.
But we've been together 26months (long distance) and we talk about everything, but now he's really holding back.
I don't know what to do!
Please help!
2007-08-11 23:05:56 · 16 answers · asked by ★☆✿❀ 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It was an accident, but it was the 2nd time it's happened. I've tried telling him he's hurting me now by not being so close
2007-08-11 23:19:08 · update #1
EMOTIONAL not physical!
I wish I could give him a hug, we're a little bit far away. I will in 12 days time though!
2007-08-12 00:48:52 · update #2
Poppy- We already love each other. Charlie I'm not going to forget about him!
2007-08-12 12:47:52 · update #3
If he feels that way, that is just how he feels. Although you're in a relationship you're still two seperate people. And different people. Maybe give him some space to get another perspective? You could just not contact each other for a day or two. Nothing bad here. Just so both of you can think about things. Sometimes it's good to step back a bit and take a deep breath and give a little space to each other. You've done all the talking already. Now it's quiet time, for just a little bit!
Good luck!
2007-08-11 23:22:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that the first time he hurt you...after you all talked all was forgiven and there is no need to blame himself. Ask him why he blames himself and talk through with him. Tell that in a a relashionship people tend to get hurt but thats how you become closer and learn new things about eachother and trust. B/c when an arugemet happens you learn to forgive. Tell him that if somethings going on your here for him and if you could you would be hugging him or wateva you want to do that you would be doing it now. Tell him you want to be open with him and that you feel like he is holding back and whatever the problem is you are willing to work it out b/c you don't want to you all's relatiionship to suffer.
2007-08-12 02:26:04 · answer #2 · answered by Cc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs time to digest what happened. This is all very recent and the only thing that can rebuild trust, in others or one's self, is time. Slowly he will open up to you again and as he tests the waters and realizes it is safe he will become more comfortable with it. RIght now you both just need patience and understanding. If you try and force it out of him he will shut himself further and further in and drive the wedge between you. Tell him that you understand his feelings and that you forgive him and when he is ready to try again you will be there. I wish I had a magic phrase you could tell him to make it all better, but in this case the only thing that will fix it is time and patience.
2007-08-11 23:44:43 · answer #3 · answered by SheSpawn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You talked and things got sorted, try talking some more.
Explain how much the open sharing has been such an important thing for you, especially causeof the distance, and how being shut down is more painful than maybe he thinks.
Send or give him something light hearted as well to take off some tension.
If he is the kind of guy to respond positively, tell him, he hurt you, you are thru it, and please try not to do it again :)
2007-08-12 01:07:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
CONFIRMATION PLEASE
he did not actually thump you?
Couples have fights... say things hurtful and need to make up with hugs and cuddles to make pain go away.
Some fight pysically ie your throws a plate, then slaps the person, and the person slaps back.
Thats not abuse thats just a fight... see rules above.
Domestic violence if hard battering of one perosn and dominanting and angry hitting first which is very different.
if this is emotional go over and grab him for a hug and dont take no for an answert and say look couples fight
2007-08-12 00:39:04 · answer #5 · answered by Joey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Wabby, I know it can be hard because I am in a long distance relationship too. Just give it time and things will be all right. Specially if you are going to meet him soon. He is probably getting where he is starting to love you and that is giving him a litttle cold feet. Things will workout you will see.
A Friend.
poppy1
2007-08-12 08:04:28 · answer #6 · answered by poppy1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that you are over it, and you are being hurt more now by him holding back. Also, was it on purpose? If it was, even if he is remorseful now, be careful. If it was an accident, tell him it was one, and that you forgive him, and people make mistakes. Hope that helps! :)
2007-08-11 23:17:18 · answer #7 · answered by brydiem 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just get the message through to him that you do not want to feel hurt again.have another chat to air things out with him.and in time things will change more normal between the two of you.for the good.
2007-08-12 00:36:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, the best thing to do is nothing; give the other person space. Allow them to be as close, or as distant as they choose. If they are truly yours, you have nothing to fear; you will not loose them.
2007-08-13 14:28:01 · answer #9 · answered by Larry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to see each other,if this is to work out.
2007-08-12 11:34:13 · answer #10 · answered by Lindsay Jane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋