In two days time I will be home with my wife who I have loved so much, however 6 months ago I was told by my wife's close friend that my wife told her she had an affair with her cousin. I confronted her and she told me it was just an imagination story. I believed her but unfortenately I have come accross photos where she has spend two weeks away with him on a holiday. In two days time life will change as she now can't deny it as the truth is exposed. Why do woman do it and try get away with it.
2007-08-11 22:38:36 · 25 answers · asked by maleinaus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
most get away with it but it is not a big deal your wife is yours forgive her and move on dont ruin your life over something you dont have all the facts on
2007-08-11 22:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by wreaser2000 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is the only time it has happened and she is afraid of loosing you and ashamed and just wants it to all go away or maybe she is still doing it. Maybe you treat her awful and she wanted to feel loved or maybe you treat her wonderful and she is a cheater,,,period. All I can say is honesty is always best and once there has been a lie of that nature, nothing can be the same. If she had come clean then maybe you could trust her in the fact that she was honest but now it has been 6 months and you clearly know that she is capable of lying. How do you know it isn't still happening with him or someone new? There is no answer to why men or women do this, people think the grass is greener on the other side but either find out it isn't or even if it is they don't want to loose what they have. The only thing you can do now is come up with an answer for what you need to do. People do cheat, it does happen but if you don't tell your partner and feel true shame then it can keep happening as there was no regret or acknowledgment expressed to the 2 people who matter most. You and herself. She should have admitted and worked hard to prove it was a one time mistake that she truly regreted. She did not, she caused a seperation, one that will take a lot of work to repair.
2007-08-12 06:13:05 · answer #2 · answered by tia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remember that sex is very seductive, and she was very vulnerable at the time, and try to forgive. In the same sitution, you too might have been weak and confused in the face of tempation.
If she is sorry for what she did and and wants to "honor and cherish, forsaking all others, so long as you both shall live" from this day forward, then let the past go and start building a future together.
Failure is not in the falling down, but in the staying down. Don't just walk away from her -- give her your hand, help her rise, support her in taking her proper place at your side. Marriage is "for better or for worse" and bad mistakes are part of the "worse" you vowed to stand by her in. She needs your help to regain her self-respect, not your condemnation.
Sadly, some people ARE habitual cheaters. A "bad mistake" can be forgiven and put behind you, but if cheating becomes "a way of life" it may be time to free your spouse to be the single person he/she obviously is determined to be.
2007-08-12 06:06:47 · answer #3 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why your wife cheated, but the reason I did was because my husband had ED and refused to do anything about it. He made a prescription that should have lasted only 6 months last 4 yrs. After 18 months with no sex, not even kissing, I just could not take it anymore and turned to my ex for support. It was almost a year later before the affair started.
2007-08-12 07:02:50 · answer #4 · answered by wanda p 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The same reason men do? Not true.Women I think are looking for a emotional connection,and men just want someone who is easy. I am sorry about what you are going through. Women need someone who will listen to them, protect,and really care for them... My spouse works, comes home, because he works very hard for us.He turns the TV on and says nothing the rest of the night. I am ignored...We are at 27 years and this is the 1st time I feel like were room mates. I would have picked someone else for a room mate if I had my choice.. I have tried...A lot of marriages suffer because of this. But,some are willing to work it out,try anyways. I say confront her one more time and ask her if it is true? Give her one more chance to tell the truth. It hurts so bad. Like your soul has been shattered... But,you will survive this..Good luck!
2007-08-12 05:54:36 · answer #5 · answered by Lucky 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
woman will be woman but some need more attention then other i believe that's the reason they cheat they need to feel wonted but then you also have the woman that just like to cheat. If a person loves you and cant be with out you they wouldn't cheat because you would be the only person on there mind so there wouldn't be time for thinking about another guy or girl gOOD lUck
2007-08-12 06:34:08 · answer #6 · answered by chicanaGirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People cheat because they have no self love or respect for themselves or the one they are suppose to be faithful to. I found out my husband cheated on me several months ago as well. I will say that this has been one of the worst years of my life, but I will say this...it is not over! I am feeling better, and hopeful that love will find me. You must know that your wife has a very sick and twisted view on relationships...sleeping with her cousin shows that something is seriously wrong, believe me this is not going to end at just you finding out. She has to want to change, but you must ask yourself, are you willing to wait for that change to come. As for me I believe I am going to move on from this pain, and live my life with a person who loves and respects me, I suggest you do the same if you can muster up the courage to leave her. Take Care.
2007-08-12 09:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by strawberryliciousgirl 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you SURE, she was cheating? Could the photos be family pictures from a reunion while she was on vacation? Just a thought. I'd like to think that people sleeping with family members is fairly uncommon.
Make sure before you accuse.
As for why "woman do and try get away with it"...well, the same reasons as a man does I guess.
Needs not met...
Lonely...
Selfish...
Lack of morals...
Don't love their spouse enough...
Don't think of the consequences...
2007-08-12 07:15:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Women are also human beings with their feelings, emotions, thoughts, likes, dislikes and all that just like men. She did not tell you the truth because she is scared. May be your wife's close friend is in love with you. Then you should tell your wife that her best friend is in love with you.
2007-08-12 05:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by Mohammad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This was probably even a hard decision for your wife's friend to come to you to tell you about it. She knows how good of a man you are and how much you are in love with your wife so she must feel horrible this has happened.
My friend has been cheating on her fiancee so much and he keep sending her money when she spends it on her boyfriends. They are living apart right now and she keeps delaying moving to be with him. He is such a nice man and I have wanted to tell him for so long but I was afraid he wouldn't believe me...
well, finally my sister called him up and told him everything... and a month later she stopped talking to both my sister and I so I know he spoke with her about it and she convinced him that my sister lied about it all. He is still waiting for her to move to be with him (I am in the same country as he is right now).
you see, it should be a good thing for him to find out, as he is in another country, waiting for her, giving her money, and she is only using him... who knows if she will ever come? he could have moved on a long time ago but he doens't want to believe she would do such a thing to him... so he will wail until he himself really sees what she is doing.
so now you have found out the truth from your wife's friend, and have more solid proof that she was definitely with him (I assume she denies going on this vacation with him?).... see the truth and act on it instead of wanting to be in denial.
you may choose to forgive and try to move forward in the marriage... but remember to have expectations on her in order to work things out. he is her cousin so I do not know how often she will see him at family gatherings, but you have to decide what she will have to compromise for you... maybe that she not attend a family gathering if he will be there...sad for the whole family, but not fair on you if she will still be seeing him, and you do not know if she can control her feelings for him.
I am so sorry this happened to you and hope you can be happy with whatever you decide.
2007-08-12 08:11:07 · answer #10 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
For the same exact reason men do it: They like pleasure, and they like novelty.
Try to keep things in perspective. Lots of people cheat, whether you like it or not. Instead of getting all pissed and outraged at her, try asking her WHY she did it. And listen. Maybe you won't like the reason, but you may learn something very important about her or perhaps even yourself. Remember that affairs are about lust, not love. Maybe she still loves you, but is looking for something more in the sexual realm.
2007-08-12 05:47:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋