We have a 3 and 5 year old, and I have left this marriage as a farse. There is our friendship, but lack of trust. My wife has no education, and a low paying part-time job. If I move out, then where does that leave her (besides high and dry)?
What is her strength, when she built her last seven ears off of believing in a future with me? What can she do to even move on. She has little to work with. Children from a man that makes her feel that having children was wrong. We love the kids, and I feel responsible to take care of the kids. But even if I took the kids, then what does she do next? Go to school(she never did before)?
How does she cope with such a big change?
2007-08-11 21:30:09 · 11 answers · asked by Pachinko Machine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED YOURSELF THAT QUESTION EVEN BEFORE YOU DECIDED TO LEAVE HER.
AND IF THE DIVORCE IS FINE WITH HER, I GUESS HOW SHE MOVES ON IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, IT'S HOW YOU WILL COPE ONCE SHE'S MOVED ON, I THINK YOU ARE AFRAID OF IT TOO.
THINK MORE OF YOUR CHILDREN WHO ARE MORE AGGRAVATED BY YOUR ROUGH DECISION. YOU SEPARATED THEM FROM THEIR MOTHER, WHO IN HER CASE MAY BE ILLITERATE BUT HAS ALL THE KNOWLEDGE IN THE WORLD OF TAKING CARE OF YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE.
2007-08-11 21:46:58 · answer #1 · answered by LIA 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your only responsibility is to provide for them according to what the judge says. Get a good and fair lawyer.
Yes, maybe she has no education and nothing to go for her. But, then again, she completely depended on you for the last how many years? You made that life for her possible and she decided to sit around at home, only contributing child services and housekeeping services. Yes, this sounds harsh. But I believe that in this day and age, both partners should share the burden. And she never shared it with you. It is tough for a man to carry the financial burden for a family and to be the sole provider.
Also, even if you were to stay together, she would be confronted with this at some time. When the kids are older and more independent, what would she do? Sit around the house all day, waiting for someone, anyone to come home?
She'll manage. She can get an education. Believe it or not, many of us have put an effort into that. Many of us who have children also take responsibility and go to school to get a better job and make more money and to contribute our fair share to our families.
Don't feel sorry for her. But be fair. You're not an ATM, just because you fathered 2 children with her. Don't let the burden of what'll happen to her fall on your shoulders. She's an adult. She needs to be able to figure out things too, without your help. It really sounds like she's totally dependent on you. Help her out of that dependency.
Good luck!
2007-08-12 04:42:01 · answer #2 · answered by Nina 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask your self this, if you had a magic wand what would you want? I am trying to say is that even if she had a well paying job no matter how you slice this a divorce is going to be rough on both of you especially the kids.
Have you tried marriage counseling?
You owe it to the children to try everything in your power to try to make the marriage work. You do not cut off the head if you have a headache.
After you have exhausted every avenue then maybe you go your separate ways. You hav to remember that you are going to be in each others lives for a long time, especially with children involved.
She will pick her self up and move on I am sure of it.
I hope this helps at least a little
2007-08-12 04:39:37 · answer #3 · answered by 37 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Fist of all it is your job to take care of children your wife needs to go to school and get better education and skills and stand up for her self and your kids sure she has a low paying job. But she can make it if your willing to support her and stop putting her down the problem is yours too.
Than perhaps she can move on and forget about you.
2007-08-12 13:03:13 · answer #4 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
her strength is a dollar ninety eight lawyer who will help her to most of your monetary and material you claim as yours yet was built up during your time together,and indeed if she gets the kids well dude youre the one thats going to be moving on,and paying for it
as well.
2007-08-12 07:01:51 · answer #5 · answered by antique_asylum 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
so if you are worried about her then why are you leaving her?
Have you tried counseling? If you walk out for what ever reason she will have to find a way to cope and manage her problem.
Who has the lack of trust and why?
2007-08-12 04:40:55 · answer #6 · answered by firefly06 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think, you both should remarry. :)
She's lucky to have such a caring partner which worth more than million dollars. :)
2007-08-12 07:10:09 · answer #7 · answered by merycls 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most importantly, your a*ss is out. And that is exactly when the major good things will finally start to happen in her life.
2007-08-12 04:42:32 · answer #8 · answered by OC 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yah...you married a real winner there. bravo!
2007-08-12 04:36:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not your concern. she put the eggs all in one basket.
2007-08-12 04:58:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋