Lets say you have put on a little bit of weight since you have had your third child. Granted, your family is use to seeing you small figured. Your parents whom you haven't seen in awhile got word on the weight gain (which doesn't look bad), and quoted to you that they seen your sibling on the news and how good your sibling look and, then all in the same breath they say how they heard you have gotten big. Would that hurt your feelings? Also when you told your man about it he states that well you look good when you want too, and that you don't try to look good like you do at work when your out with me. Would this statement hurt you? Wouldn't you think that he is agreeing to you looking worse or that your sibling looks better than you?
2007-08-11 20:07:58 · 11 answers · asked by Promise 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would definitely be hurt by this. Sometimes it's better for people to just not comment at all. Your parents shouldn't have aligned you with your sibling in that fashion, and your "man" should have thought about your feelings before answering like that. I know he was trying not to sugarcoat anything, but he still could have been a bit more considerate about it.
2007-08-11 20:13:46 · answer #1 · answered by Magnvs 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is such a superficial society we live in isn't it!
Naturally you would feel offended and that is because you yourself in your own mind are not happy with your new figure. If you want something to change in your life, be it weight, job, happiness, you have to work at it.
Sorry to say but men get very upset when women make an effort with their appearance for work but not for them. I know that you feel comfortable with your husband and you realise that he will love you no matter how you look but that is no reason to 'let yourself go'. If you want your marriage to last forever then you need to continue to work at it, and that includes keeping yourself looking good. We women may not beable to help the wrinkles, or the stretch marks from childbirth, but we really can stay in good shape.
Make a time in your day to workout. I know with children it is not always easy. All you need is about 30 minutes a day (put kiddies to bed, or put a dvd on for them) if you make it intensive exercise. Once you start losing the weight then the exercise becomes enjoying and I'm sure you'll enjoy the new remarks from your man and your parents as well.
Most importantly, if your motivation is low and you really don't feel like doing it for yourself, do it for your husband. It is an ego thing for them. They do like their 'eye candy'. Like I said it is a superficial world.
And by the way, if your husband could do with a little work himself, work out together if you can.
Good luck - go on, show up your sister!
2007-08-12 03:23:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Accept who you are and others will, too.
I don't know how long ago you had your 3rd, but maybe you're having some post part-em depression. Don't let it get you down.
I'm sure with taking care of 3 kids you're exhausted. Get some sleep and I guarantee you're going to feel better and look better. You'll naturally lose any weight running after the kids.
Learn the lesson from your parents so that you don't repeat the sibling comparison drama on your own kids.
2007-08-12 03:25:21 · answer #3 · answered by Autumn S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely I'd be hurt! I've had 2 kids. I was always tiny and after my first I was even smaller. Looked great. After my second I'm pretty chunky (not overweight really - but I definitely don't look my best). I get comments like "Wow, look at you, you used to be so skinny!". Ugh.
It's hard on your body to have 3 kids - and if you want to relax around your man and not dress up like you do for work then I think that's fine! It sounds like your family and husband are not exactly tactful.
I bet you look great, and I'm sure you're a good person. And yes, you have EVERY right to be offended!
2007-08-12 03:13:37 · answer #4 · answered by Janey 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like your husband is being honest with you. You really shouldn't worry about what other people think or say about your weight. What truly matters is what YOU think & how YOU feel. If your not comfortable with the way you look, then simply....DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. And if you decide to do that, DO IT FOR YOURSELF, don't do it to please other people. Lose the weight because you want to & because it's healthy for you.
2007-08-12 03:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by sugarBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2007-08-12 03:10:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah. that would definitely hurt. no one wants to be told they look bad. especially the people who are supposed to love you the most. and love you for who you are not what you look like. i bet your beautiful. it doesn't matter if you gained weight. your human. no one is perfect. i bet your husband has some big flaws you could call him out on.
2007-08-12 03:13:19 · answer #7 · answered by Angela 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of moping about it and if you're really bothered why don't you just plan a diet and lose the weight? I know it's not so easy but it's all up to you how you feel not them and what they say. C'est la vie.
2007-08-12 03:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by allthatsolid 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes. It sounded pretty insensitive and mean. My husband is a dumb butt sometimes with stuff like that, but sometimes guys don't mean for things to sound as harsh as they do. Confront him and tell him how it made you feel. You'll feel better.
2007-08-12 03:13:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it hurts but sweetie loose the xtra weight now...ps he loves you
2007-08-12 03:14:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋