How do you stop a marriage from breaking apart?

Question

We've been married for 1 1/2 years and today it's in shambles, with a possible divorce being just around the corner. His family can't stand me any longer & mine never liked him to begin with.

Problem is, I still love him, and the thought of losing him hurts so badly that I can't breathe. What do I do to work at this?

Answer 1

Go to a marriage counsellor. It always helps.

Or else talk to him into getting some self-help books & working on it together.

Sometimes, the problems lies with the way you all communicate - words & body language. Are you both defensive? Are you both showing more negative instead of positive reforcement in your body language?

I am not saying i am totally right here but the 2 greatest areas of marriage breakups these days are - Financial situations and lack of spending time TOGETHER... that means your private times to talk, have sex or do things... whatever!

Or is there any thing that he has told you (many times) that you need to pay attention to but you have probably not worked on it?

Best is to go to a marriage counsellor...

Answer 2

You really need to speak to a counsellor straight away so that the two of you don't do something crazy and let something great slip through your finger tips.
Forget the issues with your families. They can exist even in the most solid of marriages, that is something that will may always be a part of your marriage that you and you husband will just have to 'put up with'.
The first years of any marriage can be rocky. Nobody gave us a manual on marriage. We are educated for many years at school, we are taught how to drive a car. We even spend hours how to learn to go through childbirth (a natural process) and yet, where are the lessons on the most important relationship we'll ever have?
You and your husband are going through a hard phase. With some couples it passes, with others it may need a little work and maybe some help. Don't delay any longer.

I have a special offer on my website;
http://www.whenharrymarriedsally.com
I can help you online in the privacy of your own home. Your families won't even know you have seen a counsellor.

Answer 3

If it's only been one and a half years I'd say there were some problems to begin with. Are you both very young, or have money worries, or just aren't used to living with another person aside from family? All of these things can put a strain on a relationship. And of course pressure from family is a big stress - you need support, not them knocking you.

Find time to go out with your husband, tell him you need to talk. Work out what the problems are and start talking about how to fix them. If you can't even get to that point then find a counsellor to help you take the first step.

I'm sure your marriage is worth saving - I hope it works out for you :)

Answer 4

I'm sorry to say this... she has cheated on you. She had an emotional affair. Why would you want to stay with a person that can't even have sex with you for crying after another person? If the woman was that great to her, pack her things and send her to the other woman, even if she has ''married'' someone else. You have tried everything that you can as a man. By the way, I am so proud of you, being a man and sticking with her thru the time of her fixation on this woman. Now if you want to go farther with her, then by all means do so. I just can't see you hurting any longer to be with a person that really doesn't want you. Trying to have sex with her and she cries would have been a dead give away that she have gone allot farther with this woman then she is admitting.

Answer 5

When one is younger, he or she might have thought how wonderful it would be to get married. Of course, it is wonderful...but not all of the time. There will be times when marriage will seem like hard work and there will even be a time when leaving will look like a nice option.

To married couples out there, they must remember to look for ways to improve their relationship. Here are some tips that could make the marriage go from boring to infinitely fascinating.

1. Forgive.

Okay, there will always be disagreements in a relationship. But there is also something known as forgiveness that could immediately smooth the situation in an instant. Married couples must never harbor grudges.

2. Respect and honesty in the key.

If there is no respect and honesty in your marriage in the first place, why are you still together?

3. Remember the power of humor.

A married couple must take time to share jokes and other crazy antics to decrease tension. Laughter is healing.

4. Communicate effectively.

If your feeling upset by something your husband said you must be able to tell him that right away. Communication is very important in any relationship.

5. Decide together.

For things concerning finances, children's education and upbringing, delegation of household chores, Both of you must must decide together. One must not be superior over the other.

6. Don't forget the simple, small things.

For the husband, he must remember to compliment you and praise you for a job well done. For the wife, you must be attentive to your husband's needs. Both of you must enjoy each other's company. Showing affection one for another is essential.

7. Stay in love

It is easier said than done, but each has to remember that marriage is one hundred percent love. Both of you must enjoy every new discovery and every new day with each other.

8. Stay intimate.

Yes, intimacy and sex must not waver as the time goes on. As long as both of you feels that you still have a strong attraction and affection for each other, the marriage would be fulfilled.

Marriage is wonderful and a bit complicated. But as long as you both know that you have each other to hold on to, it should be a rewarding relationship. Both of you would be there for each other, “for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, and til death do them part”.

Goodluck!

Answer 6

a lot marriage councilors state the hardest part of your marriage is making it through the 1st 12 months , you've done that , 99% of in laws find something to dislike about their childrens spouse's its called over protectiveness and judgemental decisions , they arent good enough because they dont earn enough money to give you better or equally good opportunities as your parents did / have , they come from poor back grounds so therefore they are money hunting and nabbing the 1st guy to walk through the door wether he has money or not and love isnt even considered because afterall your only after the money not a true marriage.....
ok so off the in law soap box , a few things to ask yourself.....
1. everytime he walks through the door does your heart skip a beat and you cant breath because he just takes your breath away?.
2. does he feel the same about you?.
3. when you go out is it together or seperately ie: are you living seperate lives but living under 1 roof?.
4. when you are alone with him is he effectionate ? caring ? compassionate?.
5. does he tell you he loves you every day or every 2nd day?.
6. do you tell him you love him ?.
7. does he spend more time down at a pub / bar with his mates or spend more time at work then he does with you?.
8. do you only feel this way because the romance / dating has died down and he spends less money / time with you then your used to ?, the thing is its natural the dating / money spending on presents does get less and less as you slip into comfortability.
9. are you spending more time on line chatting to friends and less time with him doing out doors stuff?.
10. if you dont have children why arent you out enjoying parks , rain forests , picnics , beach time , river time ?.

if these questions make you think and you dont like the answers you give yourself then sit down and speak to him if he is like any normal male and see's the marriage as ok and not having a problem write down how you feel in a letter and leave it for him to find and read and explain why you think you feel the way you do without throwing accusations or blame as to who's to blame for the relationship going the way it is , stop worrying about your in-laws and your family they dont count you didnt marry his family and he didnt marry your family you married each other dont lose sight of what you fell in love with in the 1st place.....
I hope this helps good luck......

Answer 7

No marriage breaks apart. It remains intact as it is. It is the people who break apart.

In your case, because you are a sincere and loving wife your chances are great to save yourself from being divorced.

Be true to him (your husband) and worry less about the two families opposing your happiness.

It is different if your husband is a coward and leaves you midway. In that case better get divorced because one who can't protect you from others, doesn't deserve to be your husband.

Answer 8

You won't like this answer and neither will most of the women. You treat him like it was 1950. Let him make the decisions, let him go where he pleases, make love to him all he wants, feed him. in short be submissive. Most importantly, do not nag him under any circumstances. Women will disagree with this answer, men will not.

Answer 9

Forget about your families for now, and both of you see a marriage counselor immediately.

Answer 10

i think right now you should try and keep you marriage fun like take dance lessons for ex. ballroom it is really fun and also just try and do more fun things togther to keep it interesting.... also try and think of what made you fall for him.