We were telling each other our secrets and she told me a guy we know from our local High School raped her. She started crying and I didn't know what to do. I suggested telling her mother or calling a kids helpline but she started screaming at me and told me to go home. I haven't spoken to her since and I'm really worried about her. She told me not to tell anyone. Do I respect her wishes or tell someone? Im really worried and confused.
2007-08-11 19:57:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I understand,& I also understand how she feels. I was raped also,but I didnt tell anyone til years later. I was afraid of him.
How long ago did this happen? While she might not have proof anymore like she would have had in begining,like bruises,pictures,etc, she still has it on her mind..I'm sure it preys on her night & day. She probably feels like it was her fault, that was me. then a therapist said,"did he call you & ask you out?' or did he impose himsself upon YOU, without your permission.? i'ld never thot of it that way. Yes he imposed on me,
she may not want to turn him in..so she may be scarred to tell anyone for that .. but you are in between a rock & a hard place! I once broke my mothers confidence,she told me not to tell,but she thot she had a little heart attack,,well,she got real mad at me for telling, but her dr. called her & saidto get rite down ther,he checked her & called the hospital & got her rite on in. It saved her life, she had almost 100% blockage,they said if they don't go in there,she could die on the way home!
Needless to say,she got over her mad spell, & she just turned 88. So if you tell someone about your friend,don't feel like your 'telling on"her.She really needs a friend right now & support...It could get a lot worse than her just being mad at you.
Tell her you were so concened you had to do something for her own good. If she's a friend she'll realiz e eventually,you did it for the best ,,& thank you for it...
I do hope & pray all goes well, God Bless your heart for caring so much for your friend.
2007-08-11 20:33:27 · answer #1 · answered by AnnaMaria 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Respect her wishes. Do Not Tell. Talk to her. Treat her like normal. She's scared and confused, don't try to convince her to do anything. The last thing she wants is for her family to know. Trust me, give her time. Depending on the state you live in, she has at least 5 years to report it and have him charged. Don't rush anything. By now all physical evidence is gone, forcing her into anything now would be a waste of time and will only hurt her emotionally.
Do Not Treat her like a Victim! She hasn't changed. She wants security.
Call your friend. Ask her to go to the beach or anywhere, don't bring up the subject. If she wants to discuss it, she'll bring it up. If shes ready to talk, let her.
She trusted you enought to tell you her deepest secret. Don't betray her.
2007-08-14 08:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by syoraiocht 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Respect her wishes. She's confided in you and it sounds like only you - that is a big step for her. Be there to support her. Have you tried calling her? Ask her if she's okay, tell her she can trust you and MAKE SURE YOU MEAN IT.
Ask her is she wants to do some research on the net about how to cope - with or without you. Then invite her out someplace and tell her you don't want to talk about it unless she does. Tell her you want your friendship back.
2007-08-11 20:10:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are a good friend.
It really IS up to HER to tell someone. UNLESS she is under age. then YOU should tell someone. keep trying to talk to her, she needs you right now. just let her know that you are there for her. give her the support she needs. hopefully she will be able to tell someone soon. is there an adult that she can talk to? someone she trusts? sometimes it's easier to tell someone other than a parent. someone nuetral.
Good Luck!
2007-08-11 20:10:27 · answer #4 · answered by Meli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something as serious as a rape you have to tell someone. She's probably scared and doesn't know what to do. So go tell someone and help her that way.
2007-08-11 20:08:30 · answer #5 · answered by Bball_Fanatic! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think of it could be ultimate that she is going to a councilor. She desires you to take heed to. no longer advise, no longer tell her a thank you to recover from it, no longer something yet hear. there is not any longer something you're able to do to un-rape her. All you're able to do is enable her unpack all of it.
2016-10-10 01:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u talk with her and make her convice to talk to her parents and tell her if she is quiet then the culprit will get more strenght to spoil someone eles life
2007-08-11 20:11:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to get her to tell others like parents/police/etc
2007-08-11 20:04:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just told the world
2007-08-11 20:04:59 · answer #9 · answered by nya_09 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋