She went back to him and is obviously not thinking straight...Can I do anything about it if she wont press charges against him? Because she called me crying telling me that she had to run out of her apartment and knock on her neighbors doors to get away from him. There is a neighbor as a witness. And i am a witness too because she called me and told me. He is terrible to her and I cant just sit here and watch him kill her.
2007-08-11 19:48:20 · 5 answers · asked by ~*RazzleDazzle*~ 3 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
State laws have a lot of variance in domestic law. Your best bet is to call a local domestic violence hotline and talk to a councilor. You may be able to start a criminal investigation by filing a police report yourself.
There is nothing anyone here can tell you that will be worth anything. Only someone who knows your local laws (and how to "play" the "game" with law enforcement) can give you useful guidance.
Keep this in mind. The person you are talking to will probably be giving you bad news. Do not get irate or complain about the situation. Many volunteers quit because angry people "kill the messenger" when they don't like the news.
2007-08-11 20:01:35 · answer #1 · answered by robert f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You or the neighbor could have called the police when it happened and if there is evidence of physical abuse, the police do not need her to press charges to prosecute him as the State will pursue the case and call her as a hostile witness. If she still has bruises, you could try reporting it now and have the neighbor corroborate you statement and the police may look into or may just take your statements and file a report.
Down side is she will likely cut off her friendship with you and not turn to the neighbor in the future. Sad thing is, you may need to wait until it does happen again and then call the police immediately after it occurs where the evidence is fresh and there is threat of immediate harm.
In the meantime, you may want to get in touch with local battered women's shelters and talk to them about it and get all the information you can and maybe even invite her to lunch or dinner and a counselor from the center (many have been prior abuse victims themselves) and just open the opportunity for her to see that there are other options, other women who have been in her situation and not only gotten out of it, but gone one with their lives and if not successful, at least better off than they were in the relationship.
2007-08-12 02:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can get her to talk to a counselor, or take her with you as you drop off some donations for a local woman's shelter, where she might be able to see the end result of her passivity. Another suggestion would be to get her a copy of Laura Schlessinger's TEN STUPID THINGS WOMEN DO TO MESS UP THEIR LIVES. I know--Dr. Laura can be annoyingly opinionated about a lot of things! But that said? It's a smart book, good enough to have "put her on the map" in the first place. It clarified some things for me in my dating life.
Good luck!
2007-08-11 19:53:33 · answer #3 · answered by Vaughn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, definitely report him to the police. Maybe they can't press charges without her testimony or other evidence, but at least it will give her a chance to face facts and it will give him a strong warning. Get it on police record, so next time they will know there is history there.
Meanwhile, keep talking with your friend and encouraging her to take care of herself. Get her counseling or self-help books. You can't save her if she doesn't want to be saved, but you can support her and try to help her face the truth.
2007-08-11 20:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
not legally -if she wont press charges, there's nothing you can do. Only thing you can do is be her friend
2007-08-11 19:57:33 · answer #5 · answered by Kmmv 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋