When i was three..my mom kicked out my dad..he was an alcoholic..&& my mom was doing what she thought was best..they were never technically married..but he did along the line..ask for her hand in marriage..then again..he was drunk..for about 6 years..he only vistited..probably..about 15 times..at least..&& everytime..he was drunk..he would spend the night..then leave the next morning before we could say bye..well..a few years ago..we moved..&& didnt tell my father..their wasnt a way to get a hold of him..but after a year && a half later..he was in my room..sober..for 2 years..&& back in my life..now..i am 14 years old..&& i JUST found out a week ago..my dad is married..&& has two girls...I am so confused..I jus need to know..should i be mad at him..or not??..or upset..jus something..i am just soo confused..&& i got highschool coming..there is so much on my plat already..
2007-08-11 19:26:34 · 9 answers · asked by Secret Ninja 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
I can see how you'd be upset, but be grateful that he's sober now. If you are willing to let him back into your life, I'd suggest you go to Alateen, it'll help you understand why you dad is the way he is, and you'll learn how to deal with him and how to get over the hurt
2007-08-11 19:38:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you are at the time in your life when that stuff is like so important, but say if you go and have a kid at like 22 then you will be so busy with the kid you will only remember what happened to you as a means not to repeat it. However, you are very young, and I wish you see from an adults perspective, that yes these things are painful, and that is why it is important for you to FOCUS ON SCHOOL so you can get a decent job you love AND WHEN YOU HAVE A KID, you won't be 'unprepared'. A lot of the times, we repeat our parents mistakes as a way to validate them. While you are young, and before life gets the best of you, stay on a straight and narrow track, upwardly mobile, instead of flittereing here and there withn little or no direction. Do not get caught up in 'triflin' things... no matter the peer pressure. Guaranteed any girl you date now may prepare you for 'the one' but she isn't the one, so don't get her pregnant or ruin your life because a kid is expensive and you will never get 'your life' all of your own back, kids are wonderful, but the most important thing here is you learn not to have a kid before your ready like it seems your parents did and cheat you out of some 'perfect idea' of growing up... (rarely happenes anyway). And 2 that you focus on your school, so when you are ready you can have a kid, the money has to come first or you will be away from your kid all the time trying to earn it if you have the kid first. You need to go into something you like and just worry about your career,edcuation and internships, etc. Do not focus on negativity and while you are so young, get The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace B. Wattles and do an experiment for me. In 20 years when I come back here let me know how it worked for you as to see if giving you that book title gives you a healthy edge in success! Don't waste time worrying or waste time with resentment. Focus on productive things. Imean, you can 'feel' it, just don't buy into it. Try going to Africa or reading about the hard lives there, or around the world... and your problem is put in prespective.
2007-08-12 09:07:57 · answer #2 · answered by JessesGirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh im sorry that you had to deal with these things so young. Even though i cant tell you how to feel, i think you should try to move on. I would be very angry at him. But being angry is not a solution to the gap or the problems he caused in your life. Just try to focus on your life now. Study hard this year and try to keep yourself busy. You might also consider to talk to a professional if you can. I hope things turn out great for you!
2007-08-12 02:42:31 · answer #3 · answered by rvev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hold the past against him. He did wrong, mom did wrong, and we all do wrong. You have to forgive him and realize people mess up their lives sometimes and hurt their families and it happens to good people as well as bad. We are all less than perfect and your dad and mom are no exception. You must love you mom and dad and learn from their mistakes or this sort of thing will mess with your head so bad for so long that it will make a mess out of you. Learn to forgive, accept and love, and you'll be a better person.
2007-08-12 02:42:38 · answer #4 · answered by Sheriff of Yahoo! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be angry
sorry i"m angry now too i spent a hour writing you a good answer my keyboard messed up and as i went to preview it all go wiped out sorry
bottom line is this your normal to feel the way you do and i would seek a divorced kids support group it makes you feel better when you find out your not alone in any situation and you are not alone your school may even have one when it starts up
2007-08-12 03:29:10 · answer #5 · answered by Bruce S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should be angry. He just started a new life. I don't think there is anything wrong with it.
After my mother "put my step father out" he made two kids with other woman. It's only natural for some!
2007-08-12 02:34:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving can be a very hard thing to do, but it helps heal old wounds. It will get better with time.
2007-08-12 02:38:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but only you know your true feelings.
2007-08-12 02:33:15 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Fuzzy Bottoms 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think so at least ask him y he did that
2007-08-12 02:36:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋