His wife hates that we are friends and hates me. She seems to think we are having an affair or something. She has only met me a few times and has been really rude to me when I tried to talk to her. When we do hang out, it is at bars and there is always a group of us. I was at a party of mutual friends of ours and she flipped out that I was even there, even though I said little more than hello to him. She has now demanded that he "cease and desist" all contact with me or she will leave him. He refused, and she said she was divorcing him. I feel terrible, I didn't mean to cause him any trouble, but I really don't know what I have done wrong. We have never dated in the past or fooled around. I really don't know where all of this is coming from. On the otherhand, my husband is fine with it and doesn't care if I go out without him. Do you think that married people can still have friends of the opposite sex? What should I do in this situation? I hate to lose a good friend.
2007-08-11 18:43:18 · 6 answers · asked by J S 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let him go and have a wife. My old roommate was a male and his new girlfriend did not like me at all. It was pretty much what you are going through. We had a wonderful bond, like brother and sister. She told him to pick me or her. He picked her, as he should have. They are still married and have children and I am happily married and have children. Your friend's wife needs to feel that she is the most important woman in his life. If he needs female companionship, she wants it to be with her. You and your husband are obviously more mature and more secure than she is. Remember the friendship for how wonderful it was, then wish them the best. It is the right thing to do and you will never regret it. Good luck.
PS - My friend and I did talk by phone about a year ago. It was wonderful, like we had never been apart (that familiarity you share no matter what the miles or what time has passed). I knew when I hung up, he had made the right decision with his wife. I was so happy to know things had worked out for them.
2007-08-11 18:52:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked Snails answer, if you want to keep your friend but not cause problems for him, then I think that is really good advice. Just a thought though. Do you know what goes on at his house? I mean it might not be you at all....maybe he talks about you all the time, maybe he looks for ways to bring your name up in conversations, or he makes decisions based on what he thinks you would like, or he spends more time with you and speaks more freely with you, than he does with his wife?! Then you could understand her reaction to you. She needs to get to know you a bit better, to understand that you're no threat....but maybe you need to sort out somethings with your friend too. Just a thought. I also agree that people should be able to be friends with whoever and no one else should be able to dictate who you can and can't associate with. her jealousy could be a sign of immaturity and insecurity.
2007-08-12 06:28:20 · answer #2 · answered by Nati 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her a note and tell her that you are not interested in stealing her husband, you have your own husband who you are very much in love with. Tell her you will avoid her husband when ever you run into him, because she has gotten the wrong idea about your friendship with him. You don't want to be accused of something you are not doing. Better to lose a friend than break up some one Else's marriage.
2007-08-12 02:06:14 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe if you could befriend his wife or if you and your husband and the other couple could get together for supper or something so that she could see that you are not a threat to her. Aside from that just walk away. She is being immature about this its true but she isn't going to change her view she seems to see you a threat.
2007-08-12 02:06:55 · answer #4 · answered by snail 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think married people should have friend of the opposite sex,without a doubt,thats your friend!!!
I would try to sit down with both of them and talk to her about it,that's so rediculous sound like she is SUPER insecure and if she expects to have to have a marriage she needs to address those issues or she will drive him away or nag him into submission(LOL).But I really would try to talk to them together as a couple.
2007-08-12 01:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by luravaughn29 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Jesus! MY Ex was like that! I had this equally attractive close friend and she as like really pissed off about it.
I guess in this case, since that jelousy girl is the one he chose to be his wife...then he's gonna have to choose between you and his wife. I suggest you just walk out of his life.
Coz..it's not you that's gonna get hurt, it's his family.
2007-08-12 01:49:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋