My wife has started hanging out with some new people at a bar. She goes as much as possible but has said that?

Question

She doesn't want me to come with her ever or meet the people that she goes to hang out with. We've been married for nearly six years and this seems very odd. She claims that it is because she wants her own place to hang out where she isn't just a half of a couple and I am only a name. What does everyone out there thinks and what should I do? When I tell her I am concerned she just gets upset with me.

Answer 1

I think she is upset and doesn't want to be around you. I think some serious stuff went down between you and she is avoiding you. I would say fix the stuff that made it get here and she'll start hanging around you again. Trust me, I know...

Answer 2

I went through this one. A married woman shouldn't have too many single friends and a bar or club is not a good place to hang out. The fact that she doesn't want you to meet her "friends" is because she is either in an affair or around a lot of guys which can and in my case, did lead to my wife cheating on me. My wife would stay out to as late as 3 or 4am. There's nothing wrong with her wanting some space, but if she spends more time away from you and late at night, you're marriage will be in trouble. Find out what is going on and get her to really talk to you before you get messed up as I did. Because she is playing a dangerous game and you will be hurt by it...

Answer 3

Your wife is married and should not be hanging out in bars without you ~ actually, neither of you need to be hanging out in bars. You need to be at home together doing things with friends or family or just relaxing together. Your wife is very immature and not wanting to face her responsibility so you need to give her a choice.

If it were me, I'd go to the bar where she hangs out and see what is really going on, then after making my presence known, I'd leave and go home. Don't argue or raise your voice or anything, there or at home. You are her husband and you have a right to know what she is up to ~ there should be no secrets in a marriage (except birthday, anniversary or christmas gifts).

Then when she comes home, I'd give her a choice ~ me or her friends. Tell her she is not acting like a married woman and she needs to grow up. I sure hope there aren't any children involved in all this. I sure wouldn't let my husband treat me this way and I'm thankful I married someone who has more respect for marriage than this.

Sorry you are going through this and hope you can get it resolved and she'll straighten up. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

I'm sorry but this do not sound good. Continue to talk to your wife. I know how it feel to marry a man, and nobody know my name. But I don't think going to a bar is the answer. I'm sure there has got to be a way to work this out.
Perhaps she's feeling hurt, or unsure about certain things. Everything that we do is for a reason.
I believe in the sanctity of marriage. Although she is going through something, you as her husband also deserve an answer. I would keep trying to talk to her and remember to be honest with how you are feeling.

Answer 5

I think it sounds like a bunch of crap. Did she not realize that when getting married, she would ALWAYS be half of a couple? And what is wrong with that? I just posted a question regarding bars, clubs, etc. and this is why I disagree with it. It causes nothing but trouble in a marriage. You need to sit down with your wife and have a talk, perhaps get a marriage counselor involved. If she loves you and respects your marriage, she'll talk.

Answer 6

Well ,,, I think I would be making a surprise visit to this bar.. it is a public place and she doesn't own it. Very good possibility that she is cheating or trying to find some one else. Bars are never a good place and specially for one who is married and goes in without their spouse. Not cool. Time for some confrontation. Don't let her play you like that. You deserve to know what she is up too.

Answer 7

Uhm, Yeah, I see where you'd be upset.
I can understand someone needing her own idenity, however, finding it in bars doesn't really seem applicable.
It would've been less shocking had she just taken a cooking class, or volunteered, or got a new job.
I would tell her regardless if she says it "upsets" her, that it UPSETS you that your wife goes to bars.
Point blank.
I'd be firm and tell her that this is ruining your trust in her, and could damage your marriage.
She's not "half a couple" she's MARRIED!!!

Answer 8

I would have some one she doesn't know follow her to the bar and find out what she is really doing. Sounds like she is playing. I would not trust her. Hire a PI to find out what is going on, or maybe one of your buddies from work that she has never seen. What she is doing is wrong, she wouldn't like it if you were doing that. Maybe that's a good idea, do the same to her. See how she likes it. But make sure you find out what is going on in that bar she doesn't want you in.

Answer 9

Listern i dont know what type of fool you are but I would go by myself and find out what exactly is going on with her and these knew people. If you have been married to her for seven years than there should be know secrets among you two .
what's the worse could happen she get piss oh well to bad. at least you will know.
Best of luck

Answer 10

i think she is having an affair or is hanging around someone she is interested in. your married, most married couples want to do things together, unless they aren't happy being married. i wouldn't tolerate it for a minute. next time she goes you go also only show up about 2 hours later. or follow , try to catch her, do you have a friend that could help you, someone she wouldn't know? it just sounds very fishy.