I flirted with her and she did the same with me (nothing bad). She's 23, I'm 36, but I'm craving "love" in the worse way. I have a wife that is not into being intimate at all and its been like this for over a year. Its killing my will to stay in this marriage and I often think "divorce" would be best, but I have two children (3 & 7) and I fear the consequences of divorce.
2007-08-11 15:41:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Does your wife care at least about the marriage & making a go of it even tho the intimate part is not the best? You have 2 children to consider breaking up their home too. Your wife honestly shouldn't expect you to live a life w/o being intimate w/you at such a young age. There's something wrong on her end of things for her to be this way. I'm sure things were fine in the beginning or you wouldn't have gotten married. Why did she do an about change? She could have a physical reason for feeling like she does, maybe something w/her female system not being rite or something of that nature. Have you discussed it w/her? Is she willing to see a Dr. about it. That is not normal for her age. I'm not sanctioning you flirting w/trouble, as that's where it no doubt w/lead to if things keep up the way they are. You are a normal person w/normal needs. One of these times something just may lead to more than you intended them to take you to. I feel you should have a serious talk w/your wife. Be honest & tell her exactly how you feel, you have every rite to do so. Ask her if she is willing to at least try to look into things to find out the reason she feels as she does. Let her know you are serious. IF she does not want to pursue it, tell her you're thinking of divorce & see if that has any meaning to her. Staying together for the kids is not a good idea. Children know things are not rite even if there's no fighting, it's just a feeling that something is missing. You can't honestly say you can go on forever to be "pushed away" & at some point in time have temptation "satisfied". Have a long over due talk w/your wife & see if she wants to do something to save your marriage. It sure isn't headed towards the rite direction. I'd say the answer lies w/her decission. You're too young for a "sexless" marriage.
2007-08-11 16:22:23 · answer #1 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to worry more about working on your marriage than hooking up with some younger girl. Sorry to be so blunt, but it seems like you are more willing to just give up on your marriage so you can be with some random person that you met a week ago! No one ever said that being married is easy. It takes work, and sometimes, a neutral third party, such as a marriage counselor, is needed to help work out whatever problems you may be having. Unless your wife is an adulteress, you need to stick it out. You have two children, and just because your wife isn't being intimate, is no reason to tear your home apart. When women stop being intimate, there is often something going on emotionally, so instead of meeting women at parties, you need to find out what is going on with your wife. This was part of the promise you made on your wedding day.
2007-08-11 15:53:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I thought you said she was 19?!
You already know how I feel about it. I mean if the marriage is bad and you have to cheat to get sex or 'love' why stay married.It'll only be worse when the kids are older and THEN you divorce after being married 20 some yrs...ya know?!
Right now they're at the age where yes,they wont completely understand but also young enough to deal with after a few months....They'll get use to the new routine.Not saying it'll be easy and will not effect them,so nobody bash me for saying what I did.But lets face it...kids that young just kinda move on....
In the long run,youd be better off...and not cheating.
I'd lay the law down to the wife....and stick to your guns.Let her know you mean business....move out if you have to...stay in a hotel,with a buddy whtever.Shes never gonna budge with just threats.......I wouldnt..lol
2007-08-11 17:45:27 · answer #3 · answered by ...Tammy... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget divorce and forget the babe you flirted with. It's easy to run away from problems but it takes a bigger person to stand up and try to solve them. Take the bull by the horns. Start up a dialogue with your wife to try to find out why you two are not having sex. If you approach her in a nice way, she'll tell you. The answers might hurt your feelings, but heed them. Make the changes that she wants you to and she will probably do the same. If she doesn't change as fast as you want her to, don't quit. Keep doing what she wants you to do. Why? Because the changes are probably in the best interest of your family. That's right. You have a family and you are ultimately responsible for their survival. You are the father and husband. These are the two roles you have chosen to fulfill and you can't back out now. If you do back out by divorcing & chasing some other babe, you will be breaking the hearts of 4 people - your 2 kids, you wife and yourself, because a divorce demolishes everyone in the family. I KNOW, because I did it and my family is in emotional tatters and always will be. My kids live their lives with broken hearts that will NEVER heal. Face up to the problems that are there. Solve them and your family will love you even more.
2007-08-11 15:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by tomitoss 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Consequences is a perfect word for it. Just think what divorce means. Most just think it means you lose half of your stuff. Wrong! You pay big time for cheating. The courts hate cheaters. Then you can forget the time to spend with this lady since you will need to get a second job to pay for the alimony and child support. Don't fool yourself into thinking you can get away without paying an arm and a leg here! We both know it will catch up to you and maybe send you to a few nights in jail for the attempt. Plus your kids will hate you! Yes by losing custody your wife now has the opportunity to poison their minds against you and legally you don't have a chance to stop it! Your parents and brothers and sisters will look at you different (a loser) and this will dissolve those relationships too. So basically you loose everything just for one passionate night of whoopie! Once this crush sees the financial crisis you will be in due to the court costs and child support, she will be saying adios! Now lets take another approach. Lets see what happens if you again try to fall in love with your wife. Hmmmmm happy endings everywhere. This whole scenario can be summed up into one word.....Maturity. Are you mature or are you still an adolescent? Hope you go for maturity, cause it cost too much to revert to childish behavior!!!!
2007-08-11 16:02:53 · answer #5 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this may seem crazy but if your marriage is in this much trouble I think you should tell your wife. You don't have to be specific just say that you have been feeling tempted lately and you think the two of you really need to work on your marriage. The thing is she will try to help you get your needs met better, you guys may imprpove your marriage and she will trust you in the future knowing that you are the kind of guy who will work out your problems and not act out physically. If my husband told me something like this it might make me a little insecure but I gaurantee you I would be doing everything possible to save our marriage. If you are thinking divorce anyways please try the truth first. This problem might be one with a solution. Fight for your marriage!
2007-08-11 16:45:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The years with young children are the toughest for a marriage. You're very vulnerable to being attacted - especially to a very young woman. Remember, even if you split with your current wife, no woman at age 23 would have anything to do with you - they only want men who have no children. So, you're committed to your current path. Try pulling together with your wife. It won't start with sex - there are other things to work through. It will be tough - most marriages go through it - but the rewards will be great. Good luck!
2007-08-11 15:52:10 · answer #7 · answered by Tim B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not give up on your relationship with your wife. See a counselor together to try and get the "spark" back in your marriage. It can be done, and you'll be glad you made the effort to work things out. Just don't make things any worse by getting involved with someone else. Good luck.
2007-08-11 15:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by wondering 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like he's as much as no stable. purely from his solutions! You deserve plenty extra effective than that! be chuffed which you probably did no longer get too a methods with him. he's already exhibiting indications of being careless which contain your thoughts. do in no way evaluate sound asleep with somebody who isn't your boyfriend, companion, or in a courting with. in case you're in the midsection gray section, then meaning you're putting your self up for use! pass accessible and discover somebody extra effective. somebody that merits it sluggish and interest! do away with that loser and hit upon a real guy who would be up front approximately his intentions. stable success and purely bear in mind, it is troublesome to discover a stable one, yet they're accessible!
2016-10-02 03:31:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for you to feel attracted to other women...and it's great for your ego to have a younger woman flirt with you....GRANTED. You felt desire and passion and that is one of the things that keep us alive.
BUT..... The question is WHAT are you going to do about it?
Cheating is an option; but it has a huge price tag attached to it. Are you willing to pay the price later on? You may lose your wife and kids....and your self-respect.
A fling feels OK at the beginning- but things tend to get complicated soon. Please remember we are ALL tempted....But cheating is a DECISION you make....Nobody forces you to cheat, IMO.
Good luck...Think it over!!! Nothing is free in life....
2007-08-11 16:13:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋