Why is she constantly in denial of spending problem?

Question

I know someone who works in food service at min wage but doesn't need to pay rent but she spends on friends, restaurants, cell phones, junk food, bus pass and correspondence courses she doesn't plan on furthering her career. She keeps ordering Chrisitian books and she goes to church and makes food for pot lucks.. She doesn't have to pay rent or anything, yet I discovered she has over 4 thousands dollars in credit card debt. She only got angry at me, saying it s her money and that's why she can't sleep at night and she knows other people who way deeper in debt but she doesn't pay rent or anything.. I didn't speak to her since but I haven't seen her curb her spending. She bought a new phone. She really wants to drive a car and buy one but how can she? She wants me to teach her to drive but I don't see what is the point? If she's in debt. I just don't understand her. Treating her to restaurant or giving a nice gift for her birthday is pointless because she never seems grateful.

I feel like she's never grateful when I offer to treat her or something because she's already had many times before. It's nothing special to her. It's like I can't really make her feel good in any way because she's non appreciative.

I find birthdays with her a real drag. She gets grumpy and lousy mood. She only wants money.

I feel like she doesn't really appreciate me at all. I don't know whether I should teach her to drive if she doesn't have any money to get a car anyways.

I really want to help but I don't want to have to pay her debt. I am just frustrated the church has not taught her anhything to change her ways. She complains a lot abotu the church. I tell her not to go then but she keeps going. I just don't know how to have a relationship with her when she makes me feel like I waste my time being with her. I don't mean to look down on her but I rather be with somebody is positive and doesn't bring up things I would rather forget. She's also supersensitive and takes things personally. I feel like I always have to be careful around her or she makes me feel the villain in her life.

Answer 1

ok here it goes, dont worry about her sweety, only GOD knows what ur doing.. there are many people that they are never grateful.. for example, my grandma she is never grateful of anything.. she just ask for more and more... u know what u should do if she gets mad with u... dont help her. just talk to her normally. but dont say hey how come ur in debt if u dont need to pay rent... dont say stuff like that... cuz that irritates her. and if she is always mad with u. dont engage in big conversation, keep conversations brief, and u will not have a problem with her.:) if u need more help let me know

Answer 2

Your friend doesn't sound very motivated to improve her situation in life. She spends what little money she makes, and runs up a credit card account. You mentioned several times that she doesn't have to pay rent. Does she live at home? Maybe if she had to pay rent, or assume some responsibility for herself, she'd change her drifting ways. But as long as her parents are supporting her, which evidently they are, and she just blows her money the way she seems fit, with no thought for the future, she will never amount to much. There's not much you or anyone else can do for her until she grows up and realizes that there's more to life than cell phones, credit card charges and minimum-wage jobs.

Answer 3

She'll learn. Stop 'treating' her to things. I don't understand how she pays for rent (are you paying?! if so, then STOP!), but she is living in a dream world. She has major entitlement issues , and it won't be pretty when her world comes crashing down.