I'm a jealous freak and i'm destined for hell!?

Question

jealousy is indeed a sin. a huge one at that. but what do i do when every little thing makes me jealous? personally i think it's my "natured" personality and i can't change it because NATURE gave me this curse (i think personality is inhereted, my personal philosophy). i get jealous of stupid things like two of my best friends hanging out w/o me (even if i know it doesn't mean anything!) or if one of gets invited to a party i don't (even if i don't know the host!)? i know i'm funny, smart, friendly and an all-around nice person, but a lot of times i get jealous at the most random things! how can i control this? how do i let go of all this hatred that's ruining my friendships with my best friends? i hate myself because of this, i feel unworthy of any sort of serious relationships because i'll end up hurting everyone. I feel like that girl you advice your sons about when you say "just leave her. she's not worth the pain" please help me. i can't live with myself like this. i'm a MONSTER..

oh and pardon the many spelling mistakes.

you guys are so great. for once in my life you've given me hope that i can change my ways. thank you SO MUCH!! :] keep rocking!

Answer 1

Believe it or not this is a natural feeling. It's all about the way you handle yourself when the feeling presents itself. Try not to take everything so personally. Try to vocalise your feelings in a joking manner towards your friend's so they won't get upset with you. I have the same problem I just handle it different. Always express your feelings but do it in a way that people will better relate to.

Answer 2

Whoa there! Stop being so down on yourself!!!

First of all, you are not "destined for hell". If you choose to believe that there is a heaven and a hell , then you also must know that God is forgiving and knows that we are human. But even if you don't, understand that jealousy is a very normal emotion. I'm sure everyone at some point in their lives has experienced it. The key is, keeping it in check. And it's good that you realize that it's a problem for you, when it dictates everything in your life. Ususally, jealousy stems from some form of insecurity. And once we know where something comes from, we have an idea of how to beat it! So, you're one step ahead in that sense. Why don't you try to take a minute to stop, and everytime you feel jealous ask yourself why you REALLY feel that way. For ex. you mentioned your friends hanging out without you. Perhaps you could get to the bottom of it by asking yourself " Am I really just hurt that I feel that I'm not as important?" Could it be that I'm afraid that they will abandon me because I feel like I'm such a bad person?"
Then after you piece it together, it should be easier for you to let these feelings go. The more practice you have at it, the easier it will be.

But what concerns me more then your being jealous, is how you're beating up on yourself. All of this "unworthy" and "...she's not worth the pain". Come on, you are not a terrible person. This is something that you should seek professional care for. Because if you continue to let these feelings guide you, you will end up making decesions that will likely not be very healthy. You are a good person I'm sure, and you deserve to believe that about yourself.

Answer 3

Jealousy is only a symptom of a deep-seated fear and insecurity of losing those things that you value-the people in your life and the things that make you secure.
Once you feel more secure in their love and affection, you will not be jealous when they are not spending every second on/with you.
So-how do you get more secure?
First, you need to be honest about your emotional needs. A lot of people don't want to acknowledge what they think are "weak" emotions and act out in anger instead. It's hard to be honest and say, "I feel really depressed and I could use a hug right now."
Second, you have to be more secure in your own worth as a person. All insecurity stems from your inability to believe that you, flawed/ugly/stupid/whatever as you are, can truly be loved. And those voices that say that you are too flawed/ugly/stupid/whatever eat away at you and undermine you. You have to recognize those voices and then turn them off.
This could be as simple as saying affirmations to yourself and as difficult as years worth of therapy. It all depends on how deep the insecurity goes. My advice is to seek out a mental health professional and get assessed. See what it is that you can do to positively change this behaviour.

Good luck!

Answer 4

First of all you need to stop calling yourself names and hating yourself. You are not destined for hell. It would be good for you to gain some confidence so you won't feel so insecure. Have you tried talking to a professional it would probably make you feels so much better. I hope you will try. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

You can change your personality to where you feel perfect peace and limitless happiness. Read article on site below and learn more about yourself. You have the potential to be nicer than anyone you ever met. You are alive to improve your personality.

Answer 6

Find a GOOD pshychiatric social worker and start session with h/her!!! You'll find GOLD! You'll find yourself!!! I'm not relly a Freudian, but it DOES ALL BEGIN back in our childhood with our darn mothers!!! BLESS THEM!!! They didn't ask for this---but it ends up in their laps!! Good Luck!! Do the hard work of exploring your past!!! It's well worth it!!!!

Answer 7

Wow, you just described me. I think it is b/c we don't hold ourselves up to high esteem. Let me know if you get some good advice in this area.

Answer 8

THERE IS NO HELL IDIOT GET A LIFE