Okay let me tell you the story, I am an 18 yr old woman who is actually in love with an older man who is 34 yrs. old. The problem is the age difference and I know that this difference would cause problems. My actual question is that this is not the first time I fall in love with an older man. So I just wonder can anybody tell me what is wrong with me? Why do I fall for older men and what can I do to prevent it from happening again? Oh by the way this love is unrequited because he also thinks that this love is not to be happening between us. I mean I told him about my feelings but he told me that his experience would hurt me some way or another. We have a lot in common but still. So we are just friends. Although I still love him.
2007-08-11 14:54:49 · 9 answers · asked by Anima 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Well to be honest I do not have a good relationship with my father ever since I was a kid.
He was never a "father" to me he was just there but distant.
2007-08-11 15:08:49 · update #1
I just do not understan how come the people who surround me sees it badly to be in love with someone older. Like my mother and friends.
2007-08-13 11:32:07 · update #2
You are open to loving. That is a good thing. Someday, you will love and be loved, in return.
Your family would like you to be focusing on people closer to your age, because you are so young. They want to save you from hurt. You would always have less experience and baggage than someone that much older.
Just an idea: You can "fall in love" because you don't actually see a future; it is a "safe'' exercise that is teaching you how to approach men.
Also, as you get older, you may find you are attracted to those closer to your age, or even, younger. It could happen.
You are fine. Don't worry. C. :)!!
2007-08-19 12:43:10 · answer #1 · answered by Charlie Kicksass 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My m-i-l's first husband was 42 and she was 16. She had never had a father, since hers died in the war before she was born. But their relationship seemed to work okay, he was certainly the love of her life until he had an accident and died suddenly.
Another of her husbands was 20 years older as well, and I think she was looking more for companionship and security because she admitted she wasn't in love with him. But likewise, she got along with him quite well.
I think that some people are mature beyond their years. If one can be attracted to a man much older, and there is no psychopathic reason for it, I say go for it. In other cultures, age is not such a huge factor in marriage. Nor is love. So if you love, and feel it's very special, and there is nothing about his character that you cannot live with, then I feel the age factor is unimportant.
TX Mom
not a dr.
2007-08-19 13:36:48 · answer #2 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be something positive that older men bring to your life if you have fallen for older men before. Is it that they are more confident, financially secure, treat you better etc? When I was 18 seems to me guys my own age were too immature. Maybe you feel the same way and find what you are looking for in older men right now. You can certainly try not to fall in love with another older man but as you know, you can't plan who you fall in love with.
2007-08-19 13:21:33 · answer #3 · answered by aja5505 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with liking older men.. although i must say this still has something to do with your relationship with your father. maybe you are looking for a fatherly kind of love, someone who could protect you, take care of you.. etc. and you feel (sometimes unknowingly) that older men are very capable of giving you that kind of love.
i never knew my father and i am attracted to older men as well. i feel like im just playing games when im with young men. older guys know how to take care of me.
so again, there is nothing wrong with you and your feelings. just make sure you hook up with the right kind of older guy.
goodluck!
2007-08-11 16:10:42 · answer #4 · answered by ►Still Strong◄peach 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong with you liking older men as long as they feel the same way about you.
2007-08-11 15:08:20 · answer #5 · answered by Jai 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help your feelings, you are only 18, there is nothing to say you wont fall for a younger man, and what is wrong with falling in love? there is nothing wrong with you.
2007-08-18 06:15:32 · answer #6 · answered by joe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one question....how is your relationship with your father? Maybe your attracted to older men because you are looking for a father figure and you are confussing it with love
2007-08-11 15:03:34 · answer #7 · answered by kittycat 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Read Freud, you are looking for either your father...(or mother)
2007-08-19 13:48:51 · answer #8 · answered by lovelostboys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, nuthin's wrong with you! You like older men. So what???????x]]
2007-08-11 15:03:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋