My husband of 12 years ignores me all the time?

Question

He never talks to me(except small talk, like the weather, etc.) never wants to spend any time with me, and it's NOT because I gripe all the time. What should I do?

Answer 1

You have to tell him about it. You cant let this go on for your whole life,you'll be utterly miserable.Go somewhere,some place private with him..where only you and him are alone,and (i dont know what problem/s ya'll have ) ask him why he does this..if he's having an affair just to tell you,you only want to know..say that. Ask him if he still loves you.
Perhaps if you dont love him as much as you used to,its best to get a divorce and find someone else.
Listen,this is your life..Your life. I believe that there is a man out in the world that would worship you,as much as you want and need,and every day of your life..you would feel loved,as much as you needed..the right amount.And you would be happy,ya'll would love each other..like divinely.. You wouldnt have to ask yourself why your husband is ignoring you.
Listen,if you have to ask yourself that..then something must be wrong. Please , go and find that man that loves you without reason..and make yourself happy. You only have one life,that you remember...

Answer 2

I have been married for 14 years and I want you to know ur not alone. My husband is exactly the same way. Infact, he doesn't spend any time with me or my children and we talk about senseless stuff. We are more like roommates than husband and wife. Basically he comes home, eats, sleeps and off to work he goes. Me and the kids do everything together. I know it makes you feel bad and that he doesn't love you. Chances are he does love you but after 12 years, the relationship becomes stale. You know each other VERY well. I would suggest maybe marriage counseling, thats my next step.

Good luck and hang in there.

Answer 3

DON"T FILE FOR DIVORCE like some are telling you. That's a bad advice. Unfortunately, these things happen in marriages after some years. Do things that will get his attention.. like write dirty love letters to him and put it somewhere (without telling him) where he can find it. Walk around the house in sexy clothes and make it look casual. Do you work? Then tease him in the morning just before you leave for the office - I mean touch and tease hehe :) He will think of you the whole day...
Take a half a day from work, get someone to baby sit the kids and cook up some nice meal. And when your husband comes home from work be ready in bed. Surprise the hell out of him !!

You need to start a freaking fire back in the relationship :)

Answer 4

Have you tried asking him why?? Perhaps he is not doing it intentionally and is not aware of what he is doing.

When you have been married 12 years, you sort of fall into this groove where you don't show that you value your spouse as much as you used to. (I have been married 11 yrs.) It's hard for couples who have been together for that amount of time to keep everything new and unpredictable and life has this way of getting in the way and make the years pass so quickly.

I would suggest telling him how you feel and ask him how he views the situation. Give him the chance to explain his side and then perhaps come up with a plan, such as a date night or something.

Best of luck!

Answer 5

There is always a reason for any action.Since your explanation is very vague it is hard to tell why.I would say,being honest,that you should know the reason.Things like that do not just happen all of a sudden.If you lost communication with him then things are really bad.If he refuses talk then you have many things you can do.One you can leave.Two you can find someone else.Three you could enter cousel but that is for both persons to decide if it will help.

Answer 6

I've seen many marriages like this. You should do something to let him know he's going to lose you if he doesn't do his marital duties. Start dressing up and going out. Make him feel suspicious. I'm not saying cheat on him. I'm just saying that you should signal the truth (He has a chance of losing you if you feel isolated all the time) Overall, its just part of the challenges of being married. I don't know why men change after so many years of marriage. I've never been married. Start complaining about it too.

Answer 7

Tell him.
When you're in bed, or preparing dinner and he's around just say "hun, we're getting distant, and you seem to have lost interest in me"
And tell him, that he never talks to you anymore, what's going on!
Best to talk about it, then mope around hoping it will sort itself out, because it won't.
If he just gives you an answer like "i'm just tired" "or lets not talk now hun"
Then you need to make him talk. That's not on.
You're married and have been for 12 years! No excuse to not communicate with each other.
And the spending time together, that's important.
Maybe ask him if he'd like to go see a movie.
Just talk to him about it, best way to get things out, and let him know how you feel..
Before a huge argument errupts, and everything goes insane from there.
Best wishes to you,
xx

Answer 8

you need to sit your husband down and talk to him and explain how your feeling. I think after 11 years you should be able to tell him what your thinking and feeling, if not I have no idea how you got this far.

Trying starting a weekly date night, where just the two of you go out for dinner or a movie, etc...

Answer 9

That's a little vague. But, I guess, with the general assessment, I would say, talk with him about it. And hope he doesn't ignore his turn to say something.

I'm not really sure what the whole picture is, but you could also try doing something you wouldn't normally do. Maybe something that just kind of faded in your 12 years of marriage. Not to revive it completely, but just spectacularly for a day.

I really don't know if that will make sense. But, I hope one of the answers you get will. :)

Answer 10

Talk. But a little hanky-panky helps... Buy something sexy from Victoria's Secret and make a nice candlelit dinner for the two of you. Find a sitter if you have kids... Sometimes it just takes a spark of romance to relight the flame.