How do you tell your husband your feelings for him have changed?

Question

Two children are involved.

Answer 1

What are you trying to accomplish? Are you trying to accomplish anything positive? When you married, did you vow to marry for better or worse? By "worse", did you mean "worse"?

I've met many married couples and it seems to me, most have been married for up to seven years or over twenty years. Sure, there are plenty of exceptions but this is a general guideline. When asking the people who've made it last longer - how did they do it? - they almost always respond the same way: they had some very tough times but they made it a point to make it work.

Here's the thing about bailing on a marriage - if you're thinking of doing that. What would happen if you got divorced, got remarried and seven years later you were right back where you are now? You really cannot start all over again. Unless your husband is abusive, cheating or abusing alcohol or drugs, you should try to make it work. Get counseling. Every marriage has periods - sometimes years - when it no longer feels like love. There really is a brighter future for you on the other side of this storm - you just have to believe and try anything you can to make it work. The rewards will be yours. Good luck!

Answer 2

I am going through the same thing, we have been together 22years and also have 2 children. I can't remember the last time he told me he loved me or showed me any affection. We use to have a great relationship. We don't argue, still get along fine but the love has gone. I told him last week how I was feeling and that I wasn't happy and that I needed more affection and to know I'm loved, well it as all fallen on deaf ears not a thing has changed yet. No cuddle, no I love you.
I wish I could tell you what to do next but I don't even know where to go from here. Definitely try and talk to him, hopefully he will listen better than my husband. Good luck.

Answer 3

You probably have already done this, but I think you need to examine the basis of this change.

Why have your feelings changed? Is he less attractive to you than he used to be? Does he ignore you and make you feel unimportant? Is he abusive towards you? Are you just unhappy with your station in life, and you feel tied down because of the husband and children?

What you are proposing to do will change your life forever in a potentially negative way. If you tell him that you are unhappy with the way things are, perhaps you can take steps to change those things. If you are telling him that your feelings for him have changed, you are basically striking at a much deeper personal chord, one that potentially has no turning back.

Answer 4

Why have your feelings changed for husband?

If you are struggling with this question, then its because you don't understand the source of feeling, especially yours.

Feelings are not fact, they are not the source of the heart, but the fruit thereof. Feelings follow fact, they follow truth.

Love is a feeling, its source is commitment. When we persist, or practice our commitment to our spouse, then love follows.

If your feelings have changed towards your husband, it because you are being deceived.

You have no business entertaining any proposals from that other man. Your affections belong to your husband. Your feelings have not change, they are simply being redirected towards another man.

Put an end to this behavior before its to late.
PastorJP02.

Answer 5

Unfortunately, the only way to do it is to be totally honest with him. Tell him how you feel and be open in non-confrontational discussion with him. If there is some reason you can see to try to work on why your feelings have changed, and you think there is any window for fixing it, then tell him, and try, but if not, there is nothing you can do but tell him and understand that it will not be easy to hear, be willing to accept his reactions and make it as easy as possible to do what you both have to do for the sake of the children. I'm sorry for both of you! Good Luck!

Answer 6

If your feelings have changed and your married with kids then you defiantly have to tell him, or else your unhappiness, in the long run, will affect the kids. You didn't mention how long you've been married for, but the longer you wait the more unhappy you'll become. Therefore your hurt, hurts the kids. As far as how to approach the subject with your husband, simply.."[His name] I'm unhappy in this marriage because [your reason] and I think it's time we went our separate ways, but I also want this process to be as smooth and clean as possible for the kids/our sake."

Answer 7

I would advise you to first seek counseling for yourself and then later involve your husband. It is easy for everyone to tell you go ahead and leave and do this and that.

Understand that whatever decision you make your family will feel the impact.

Good luck

Answer 8

sit him down and tell him you need him to be more romantic, that might renew your feelings for him, if not then tell him you don't feel the same and then just move on with you life. Either you can try to create sparks or you can give up.

Answer 9

You have to be honest with him. Children aren't happy in a house full of tension...and they certainly feel the tension.

Answer 10

just tell him. i understand it is hard to do. but that is the best way. i left without telling mine , only i came back. now he knows how i feel and it feels better to honost about it.