I recently seperated from my partner of 9 years ( 3months ago) It was my decesion to leave as was confused and anxious about what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I couldnt comphrehend that It was right in front of my eyes. We have 3 children together and generally we were very happy. Well he met someone almost instantly and has been with her for 10 weeks. Heres where it gets messy. I still love him with all my heart and want to peice my family back together. We have also been seeing eachother romatically for the last 6 weeks, he says he doesnt want to be with the other girl and wants to come home, he keeps saying he will break up with her but then never does. His excuses are that he doesnt want to hurt her, but he says he is going to, I just need to give him some time to sort it out. I love him so much, and I realise my mistake, I kick myself when ever I think about the fact that we were together and I let it go. What should I do?? Should I continue to wait??
2007-08-11 13:24:03 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is probably scared to break it off with her. What if he comes home and you tell him to go again? How devestating would that be? Im not saying it would happen, but you have to understand how he would be feeling. He invested 9 years and 3 children in you and while you realise your mistake, the damage was done when you told him to go. Im not saying its an irreversible mistake, but he would have been terribly hurt by this. I dont think he would be feeling very secure right now.....its only early stages, if I were you, I would wait and if the two of you are still seeing each other romantically then it may take some time for his trust in you to come back. Day by day. If he trully loves you then he will evenutally know where he wants to be. He obviously doesnt love this other woman or he wouldnt still be seeing you. Give it some time....maybe take some time out, with him, to go to some marriage guidance counselling.....that would also show him that you are serious in wanting the relationship to work out. Take care.
2007-08-11 13:47:39 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to break it to you but your partner is using you either that or he feels like you are always gonna be around more like a eat your cake and have it situation. you need to stop waiting for this partner if he has not broken up with this person too bad you gotta move on and live your life. Also ask yourself do you want him back because he is with someone else or what If not love yourself and live. cheers
2007-08-11 13:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by Versacetica 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me I'd say:
"OK sweetie, you know I love you and want to be with you, and I'm very sorry for any hurt I caused you, but............. I'll be right over there [keeping my goodies to myself] and I'll see you when you are ready."
But for God's sake don't allow yourself to become an easy and familiar convenience.
But that's just me and the way I am.
2007-08-11 13:55:52 · answer #3 · answered by LadyB!™ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO CONTACT.
try no contact for 6-12 weeks.
It will show if he really cares and wants you or not.
even if you have kids and have to be in touch. Keep yourself busy and have no time for him.
Let him mak eall contact/pursuits of you.
No sex!
2007-08-11 13:49:32 · answer #4 · answered by Leea 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go, call me crazy here but what he did was called an affair.....????? You need to wake up.
2007-08-11 14:14:41 · answer #5 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋