Don't Be A Stranger..... What do you think of this poem?

Question

Don't Be A Stranger

Though the light shines bright
You will not enter
Why do you stand afar off
In the darkness
Is there a pain that hinders
Or is rebellion your only freedom
Does chaos reign in the intricacies
And is order just a weak realm
Will the love you seek
Be found in the dark mist
For you were issued from light
But you resist to return
If eyes do not lie
Then view mine
And find some measure
Of truth, logic and love
A shadowy step
I offer you to climb
So that your brightness
Will be brighter than mine

Answer 1

good i guess, i dont do poetry much tho

Answer 2

Cliche. Shallow. Lackluster.

Please... stop writing about "pain" and "darkness," people! Be original and creative for ONCE in your lives... geez. Don't think that you're a good poet just because you throw in "pretty" words like "intricacies," "dark mist," and "hinders." If there are words that get the point across even better (regardless of if they're "pretty" or not), then use those! Diction is an extremely significant component of writing good poetry, and it is often taken for granted because people have this belief that whatever they write will sound good if they just use the most beautiful and the longest words possible. NO!!!!

Also, your subject is waaay too broad. Narrow it down to something specific (more specific than emotions). Instead of writing a poem about a billion different feelings, try writing a poem about ONE solid, tangible object. Write about a pillow for all I care! Talk about the textures, shape, colors, etc. Detailed description and imagery is prevalent in great poetry for a reason.

One of the biggest mistakes poets make is being too forthright in their writing (aka shallow). There's got to be a deeper meaning somewhere... don't just describe the pillow as a pillow! Make the reader THINK about what the subject might be! Here's a mystery poem by Sylvia Plath:

Overnight, very
Whitely, discreetly,
Very quietly

Our toes, our noses
Take hold on the loam,
Acquire the air.

Nobody sees us,
Stops us, betrays us;
The small grains make room.

Soft fists insist on
Heaving the needles,
The leafy bedding,

Even the paving.
Our hammers, our rams,
Earless and eyeless,

Perfectly voiceless,
Widen the crannies,
Shoulder through holes. We

Diet on water,
On crumbs of shadow,
Bland-mannered, asking

Little or nothing.
So many of us!
So many of us!

We are shelves, we are
Tables, we are meek,
We are edible,

Nudgers and shovers
In spite of ourselves.
Our kind multiplies:

We shall by morning
Inherit the earth.
Our foot's in the door.


Can you tell what Sylvia Plath is describing? Not right off the bat, correct? That's because she doesn't just come out and say what her subject is. (If you're curious about what she's writing about, just search a line of it online to find the name of the poem.)

Utilize as many literary devices as you can to create something that appeals to the senses. I should be able to imagine whatever you're writing... and that wasn't the case with "Don't Be A Stranger."

Answer 3

Sounds like you are trying to help someone, to guide them, to bring them out of whatever suffering they are in or it could be you suffering and someone trying to help you. If you think you are in a better place than that person it is very hard to help someone out of darkness. Sometimes people don't know their own divinity, sometimes people are never awake and they live in the dark. It is their comfort zone. If you are enlightened and you are in the place of divinity then you are way to far ahead of them, they may not get it. Extending your candle, your light is salvation. But you need to know that this person is ready for it.

Answer 4

I really like what you are expressing in this poem, however, I think it would have a greater punch to it if you could increase your word economy (expressing the same depth of feeling in fewer words) otherwise well done

Answer 5

Honestly, I thought it was a very dark and mysterious poem,
with a strange greatness about it that seems to just shine through...
I like it!! :)

Answer 6

Just BEAUTIFUL!!!! I am not kidding either! I think you ought to enter it into ..........www.poetry.com.......because I have entered my poetry in their website and even have mine in a book. They want me to go to their conventions they have in Las Vegas, all of the time, but I can't afford to go!! They've given me an "Editor's Choice" certificate, and also an "Outstanding Achievment In Poetry" trophy!! Its just Beautiful !! So, give them a try, and atleast enter your poem into their site, you know. Good Luck to you hun!! Smile!! Fabulous Poem!!!

Answer 7

This is not just a beautiful poem, is more like gothic meet fairytale, I have to say I LOVE IT!!!!!!

Answer 8

ok so like I write poetry, and I really liked this one. got down deep in to the soul. very good, very nice. keep up the good work!!!

Answer 9

That's beautiful. It really exemplifies the horror of indecision, and the power of choice we all have. I love it. Write on! :-D

Answer 10

it's very nice. i have a hard time focusing on poems though. but it was soft and it flowed.

Answer 11

very nice poem! i like the way u describe things. it's awesome!