What do you think about saying "I love you." or hearing it said to you?

Question

I almost never use it. Love is wordless. I guess, if it is known, then why does it need to be said... And if it is not known, then saying it is no guarantee of its validity, unless the recipient can be certain of truthfulness. What do you think?

If it is for reassurance, then would it be effective if there were a transition from "loving" to "not loving"? The transition would be very gradual, but there would be a degree of untruthfulness even to oneself in the period of uncertainty...

Answer 1

I've gotten used to the fact that most guys don't mean it.

I agree with you, you shouldn't have to say it; it sort of makes me uncomfortable...

Good luck with whatever's up...or not.

Answer 2

I say it, and I also like to hear it. I never say it unless I truly mean it. Usually you are able to tell when those words are empty ones, especially if loving actions do not follow them. The words mean nothing if the love is not also shown through actions. I understand that you do not have to have the words there to be able to know that you are loved, and love is shown more through someone's actions. But saying it, also seems to be an act of showing love. At least that's the way I look at it. I don't know, I guess that's just me. It feels wonderful to be shown love, and also to hear it now and then.

Answer 3

Well, I know my teenage daughter seems not to need me to say it, but I think if I didn't she'd miss it. It usually comes with a hug, and often it is about appreciation, or reassurance. But things get more murky when you are talking about sex. Because sex is not love, and it is more compulsive about ownership.
However, Lacan said that we only use a word when we are losing something - a child cries for it's mother, or the breast, when it is not there, not when it is. So yes, saying 'I love you', already has that element of loss inside it according to him. My gut feeling is that is important to hear, and to say, and to acknowledge the loss of it too. And I have never found a way to 'grade' the 'I love you's'. Love really isn't about a feeling, it is about our committment to give of ourselves, even when we don't feel like it.

Answer 4

It has no meaning other than what your society has put there. The idea and symbol is not clearly defined and is consistently use as a tool of manipulation as so many other social symbols.
The term is unnecessary as each person is only an expression of nature and here to survive until it can not. Everything else is cultural.

Answer 5

It's not a bonafide philosophical question, really. But to guess at an answer, the more levels at which love is expressed at the same time, the more completely it is expressed. Language is one such level. Physical action is another. Emotion is another. Thought is another. Any more?

Me? I say it. I like to hear it.

Answer 6

The older I get the more difficult it is to admit, even when the feeling is there. Fear I guess. When it's said to me I am unsure if I can rest on the concept. But hey Love is a Beautiful thing.

Answer 7

Even thugh it can be untruthful and insincere, we still want to hear it and say it. The thing about love, we fall in, we fall out. That's life.

Answer 8

i think it's pretty plain and simple.....if you really love someone, you'll show them everyday by doing things from the heart like giving a hug or giving some words of encouragement....saying I LOVE YOU is like saying I'M SORRY....it doesn't matter if there isn't any action backing that up

Answer 9

I person once quoted to me Benjamin Franklin 'Something well done is better than something well said'. That should give you some idea of my opinion on that.


The Will is positive, the Judgment is negative.

Answer 10

We should NEVER stop telling the people we love that we love them. Sometimes, even the unlovely want to hear it. Some people treat their own relatives like dirt, but still like to hear from them that they are loved. I don't think many people use this word carelessly.
Grams