Did I cheat on my husbands?

Question

I went to lunch with a friend, we had a very intimate conversation, I could picture him without pants. Is this considered cheating?

Answer 1

nah....

Answer 2

It is normal to be attracted to another person for inexplicable reasons. It is like attraction for food where the extent of attraction sets up other "wants".
You can stop your feeling from leading you on and on into a fantasy. Even though you do not act on the fantasy you have opened a chink.. You may realise that you did not go forward for many reasons, most of which were not your choice but were beyond your control. For instance in this case the place was not appropriate or it was clear he would say no, etc. You might go on home and later you can chose to remember it and daydream about it or worse it can come in a time when you are with your husband and ruin your connection with him! This is what Christ meant when he spoke of about adultery in the heart.

How do you counter this? Each time it happens explicitly tell yourself that this is not on or some other similar statement. If you try to distract yourself you have not dealt with it. What I am trying to say is that say to yourself straight away that you do not want this. This should become a habit. How do some foods do not attract you and others even repel you? You might even do the latter with this person so that you can more easily break off. Then the next time your response to him will be different and he himself sort of withdraws because he realises there is a problem.

This may not always be possible but it can help a great deal when working with distasteful colleagues. He could take it as a challenge and pursue you! That is another story. It is sexual harassment.

On the other hand how often do you hear the reason, "But I got positive vibes! He/she was interested". I believe that you were lucky to ask this question. I hope it helps you. You migth pass it on.

DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE!
Ralph

Answer 3

NO you did not cheat , Only Fantasy in you mind. I am a man and I do that some time myself. But you need to control your intimate conversations with the opposite sex. The idea that you had this conversation and had the fantasy you are asking for trouble on down the road.( It really sounds like you are wanting to have an affair with this man, The idea you ask this question tells me there is more there than there should be.)
I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear but the truth is the only thing that can ever hurt you..I Wish you the best.

Answer 4

Not yet, but it sounds like if the option was there you might take him up on it. If your husband didn't know about he lunch, in his mind it could be cheating. Next time you think about going to lunch with this individual, think how much you could be losing if you allow your feelings to get the best of you. If you wish to have "lunch" with this "friend" invite your husband and a single girlfriend next time or have him bring a date. Keep it safe and don't play with fire if you love your husband, otherwise get out of the marriage before you think about the possibility of seeing someone else.

Answer 5

Sounds like your marriage has some major problems. Didn't you just ask if your husband is cheating on you? Anyway, when you share anything intimately with someone who isn't your spouse, whether it's sexual or emotional, it's cheating. It seems like both of you have some major reasons not to trust each other and issues to work out if you're both cheating.

Answer 6

Honey, I can picture you without pants, and I've never even seen you. So how can you think of what you merely imagined as cheating? You may want to be a bit cautious about further lunch dates with this "friend"...

Answer 7

Just because you think of a person that way and do not act it out in real life is definitly not cheating. But you had best watch the intimate talks or they just may lead to something you may not be ready for.

Answer 8

Answer this question:

Could you have had that same conversation with your husband sitting there between the two of you?

If you are doubting yourself and having feelings of condemnation (you did something wrong), then there is hope for you. Tell your husband what happened and ask for his forgiveness.

If not, then your just a hopeless flirt, and continuing in this manner will lead to additional destructive behavior - adultery, and the end of your marriage.

You affections belong top your husband not this home-wrecker.

Make good decisions, God expects it.
PastorJP02.

Answer 9

Having an affair probably, since you said the con-
versation was intimate, cheating not yet as for the
moment you only envisioned it in your mind, how-
ever you keep going the route that you are going
with this man then the act will take place and then
guess what it will be called.

Answer 10

You need to limit your time and conversations with your male friend before you do act out your thoughts. This is too close for comfort and how adulterous relations begin. Cherish your husband and have intimate conversations with only him.

Answer 11

Being physically attracted to someone else other than your husband is normal. You did nothing wrong going out to lunch with him as long as it was intended to be a friendly meeting. We do this all the time even by just walking by someone and saying, "oh he's cute." Just remember how much you love your husband! :)