how do i get over my wife ? I still love her?

Question

my wife of 10 years left me 4 months ago we have 4 children together (2,3,7,8,)she is 27 Im 28 ,Ive tried everything to get her back and I know if I get her back I have my kids under the same roof as me < she said she left me because we argue this that etc,etc, But come to find out she started to see her ex from high school who dumped her 12 years ago 4 her freind, Ilove my family i still cry every day and call her everyday asking her back my heart has been ripped out steped on and kicked around I wish I didnt have feelings IT HURTS IT HURTS SO BAD that somedays ijust want to end it but my kids keep me going (the smiles on their faces when they see me but then the tears in their eyes when they have to leave,I have hit my knees praying every day, I ask everyone to please pray for my family,Its so hard to love one woman deeply and not be loved back my friends say to replace her but im a one woman man and married,I just wish the pain would leave I hurt so so deep,any advice

Answer 1

brother, i feel for you. give her her space now, and let her do what she has to without interference. then shes going to find she misses you also, and the family life, and she will come back to you. she wont allow your kids to be away from you very much longer. it will get to her and to them. you dont know the extent of her friendship yet, so dont let yourself draw all of the worst conclusions. be patient, and be her friend, and the best dad that you can be, and she will be back. then, work on the relationship and the communication barriers that you two have come across. im with you brother, and im here.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Oh my....so sorry for what you're going through! I take it you 2 married young. Give it some time and give her some space. Contact her only for your kids and do not meddle in her business. STOP TELLING HER YOU WANT HER BACK! Sooner or later she will start wondering why you "are not interested any more". You sound like a nice, loving, responsible man! DO NOT listen to your friends, "replacing" her will not solve the problem. And if she finds out you are seeing someone else you better bet she will definitelly will not come back! I'm sure she will sooner than later realize she made a mistake. Just give it time. I know(from past experience)the pain this causes....all wounds heal with time. Focus on your kids and yourself! "Ending it" should not even be something in your mind. Your children NEEEEED you! Good luck and keep your head up! I will surley keep you and your fam. in my prayers!

Answer 4

She has broken my heart now too. I feel your pain, the misery the hopelessness. It is a very difficult emotion to experience it's draining and heavy.
Those kids are going to be your salvation they are the light & the reason to get up everyday. Thank God for those little guys.
My ex found someone new within weeks of us splitting up. I could not get my head wrapped around the idea that my husband was with someone new.
Time has a way of building a callouse around the wound and slowly you will start to stand strighter and smile more often & see the world in a brighter light. I promise.
I will close my eyes very tight and whisper a prayer for you & your family to get through this. To become stronger and kinder and more loving to each other and the world around you. God speed.

Answer 5

My prayers are with you and your children. I would definitely seek counseling immediately. Even if she won't participate at least you will have some help for your end. You need to be there for your kids I cannot stress that enough. Your wife is going to do what she wants but ask her to go to therapy for the sake of 10yrs and the children. If not then find closure for your own sanity and so that you can focus on your kids. I bet they really are hurting right now too they need you. God Bless you and remember the kids come first in this situation.

Answer 6

I'm not sure what to say, except that I'll keep you in my prayers. I don't think that calling her daily to beg her to come back will help, though. Actions, such as calling her just to talk or doing something nice for her without expecting anything in return, could work wonders. I do think that you need help with your grief, so I would highly recommend talking to a psychiatrist or psychologist. Your children need you, but YOU need you too. I don't think anyone can expect you to just get over your wife when you clearly love her as much as you do... you need time to grieve and to figure out a way to cope with the loss of the relationship. You also need to think about what would happen if she did come back... would you be able to trust her? Would you be able to get past the fact that she left you and dated somone else? Would you both be willing to see a marriage counselor?

Answer 7

Sorry to be so blunt..but you need to get over it. A woman who leaves you after 10 years of marriage and 4 kids...to start seeing someone else..its probably been over for some time now. Would you really want her back after she has been with someone else?
Just take this time to move on...enjoy your kids...enjoy their smiles! Start living your life for you...go to a movie, hang out with friends....
You deserve a woman who loves you, unconditionally. I wish you all the strength and confidence to get through this. Just know that you are better off being alone than being with someone who does not love you.

Answer 8

First, I'm sorry for you pain.... been there, and not fun. And it might help if you started to see a therapist. Praying does nothin', hon, and you need to get your life back so you can move on, and a therapist can help you put it into prospective.... she just may indeed be gone for good... and there is not such thing as a one woman man..... Hon, love is tooooooo wonderful to give only once, and being intimate with a lovely person is toooo sweet. Don't hold your hopes up for her, sweetie... (get angry.... it may be that she did you a favor...it just may take you awhile to see that....)

Answer 9

Let go and let God. It may sound trite but your children need you more than ever now. My cousin's wife left him years ago with 3 kids one with poor health and he had to pull it together and give them all the love he had held for her. His children are strong healthy and well adjusted his second wife a joy. It may not be the answer or the outcome you desire but if you don't stand and care for your children who will? Be good to them be good to yourself and let fate do the rest. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Right now, all you can do is be a great father. Your ex will see what she is losing and will be back.

As for her ex, whom she is with...Don't worry, the grass always looks greener on the other side. You will see that the thrill of being back with him will be short-lived and she will come to her senses.

Good Luck!