I have had erectile dysfunction for four years, 4 years my wife and I are married and I have sought many treatments. I am finally recovering, although my wife, who has now quit her job and is going back to her home country for three months, leaving me to run the home, tells me she deserves happiness and regular sex (I agree) - she won't go counselling, but says I can't change the locks when she goes. I thought we were working it out - in fact we had sex this week - but it's never good enough for her, and she has also told me she fantasised about her boss. She says hand masturbation or toys are things she can do herself - so she does'nt need me. So should I lose my home because she wants to clean me out (as I see it) when she comes back off her trip? I feel the marriage is beyond saving, but don't think I should lose my home baceuse she is not wanting to stay the course with me. Can a lawyer protect me? I am scared - if she really wants to leave me what can I do? I just want my home now
2007-08-11 10:59:57 · 8 answers · asked by jonoxk 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't cross dress in front of her, she knew about that before we wed and I thought she would accept on some level, as she did'nt this did'nt push me away but I have always been loyal. I don't blame her for feeling the way she does, but I thought we were working it out.
2007-08-11 11:08:58 · update #1
She has property in her home country, and her name is joint on the house here, but I am not quitting the marriage, it seems she is, so why would a judge make me leave my home when it's the only asset I have - I hope I can get to keep it! Only last week she said she could'nt see a future without me...now this...what's next???!
2007-08-11 11:53:22 · update #2
It sounds as if there is more here than meets the eye. I sense that what youre saying isnt telling the real story whether you realize it or not. It sounds like she has already made up her mind that the marriage is over and is only using the ED thing as an excuse. She may already be having an affair with her boss but its too hard to tell on here but once you mentioned that she fanatizes about her boss,thats probably a real good chance its already happening and she is fore warning you thats shes going to file for divorce when she gets back. Chances are the marriage is over so cut your losses and file first. A lawyer can always help you but its going to cost you big bucks and the end result will be the same anyway. There is always the chance too that the Judge could order marriage counseling for a few months to see what happens. The house could be ordered sold and split amongst you two so be prepared. Good luck
2007-08-11 11:42:05 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you get a lawyer. I don't think it is fair for her to leave for that long, not want to work on the marriage and then want to come back and clean you out. I suggest you get the locks changed on the house. Pack up her belongings while she is gone and put them in the garage, contact a lawyer to know your rights. If you are paying for the home and her name isn't on the loan then you don't have a problem. If her name is on the loan then you will have to either sell the home or settle on something. She cannot take the house away if you are on there too. I would refuse to be the one to move when she is the one leaving. Explain it all to the lawyer. File for divorce while she is gone so she can basically sign the papers when she gets back. Most importantly protect your rights by getting a lawyer. If you have any accounts with her close them out. Get your money into a safe place. Cancel credit cards that are in your name that she might have access too. You never know what she night do while over there. Protect yourself.
2007-08-11 11:08:35 · answer #2 · answered by hsmommy06 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you but you helping around the house IS a factor. I AM a qualified psychologist and a GUY so there goes that theory of yours. The major thing here though is her hormones. Seriously 7 months after birth she is still adjusting back to normal. My finance` had our child 8 months ago and her sex drive still isn't back yet either. If your pressuring her or nagging her for sex that won't help at all either. Looking after a kid all day won't be helping (THAT'S REALLY TIRING WORK!) and If she has post natal depression it's even worse on her.You need to relax and deal with the fact that you probably won't be having very much sex this year. Oh and another point of order, guy it's not just men that need sex, women need it too. But your partner has no libido right now because SHE'S JUST HAD A FREAK'IN BABY! Stop being so damn selfish you idiot and just support your wife. When her libido comes back I'm sure she'll let you know about it, until then get acquainted with Mrs Palmer or something... Chocolate helps me because it produces the same chemicals in the brain that sex does...
2016-04-01 05:00:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put all of your money into your parents bank account if they are still living or a good friends account so that it looks like you have got nothing get a lawyer and if she wants the house she will have to buy your half or if you want the house you will have to buy her half otherwise if no agreement is made the house will have to be sold and all the money from the sale will pay the remainder of your mortgage and what ever is left split 50/50
2007-08-11 11:07:39 · answer #4 · answered by bullet_2k4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are entitled to change the locks ~ as many times as you like. But, do talk to a lawyer anyway, if only for a clear statement on your legal position and way forwards.
Sash.
2007-08-11 11:37:57 · answer #5 · answered by sashtou 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should get legal advice. If that doesn't work sell the house and disappear.
2007-08-11 11:10:27 · answer #6 · answered by elizabeth6991 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have put this one in the wrong catagory.
Should be jokes and riddles.
Nice one.
2007-08-11 11:15:41 · answer #7 · answered by MICHAEL B 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe it's because your a crossdresser..you can't expect her to stick around.
2007-08-11 11:06:03 · answer #8 · answered by ஐ♥Nikki♥ஐ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋