The reason for the divorce is because he made a terrible mistake and fell prey to this woman at his work. He says he is very sorry but the only way we will make it is if he quits his job and gets away from that environment and the constant reminder. If I give him another chance; he gets me and will be financially ok. If I say no, he lives with regret, keeps the job where the constant reminder is and I end up being financially much better off than him but sad that my marriage and family are not intake. What do you think?
2007-08-11 09:47:28 · 19 answers · asked by JustWondering 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that you two should sit down and talk. I think you should keep him and or take him back. Why? well, because if you read the bible a divorce is NEVER in the questiion. Why? well because when you are married to someone yes you love them, care for them, encourage them, etc, etc, etc. BUT, you also are committed to them. Vows are not just words you say to get things over and done with. Yes, what he did was wrong, but why? why did he turn to another woman? please give more details on that area through my personal email. If I know more then I can share more in that area. A husband is your best friend...someone who you work with and work things OUT with. You don't leave each other. What is leaving him going to do? will you be okay? no! and why? not only physically will you be okay, but emotionally too. Emotional pain is the worse it hardly ever leaves and causes us phycial pain. Take a look at it view it in all areas. You need to be honest with yourself as well. Was I the best wife I could have been? did I please him? remember that the bible tells us that our bodies are no longer ours, but our husbands are well, same goes for the husband it now becomes yours as well. He doens't have control, control over it, but it's his as well. So, when he came home late from work and needed something did you ignore him and turn over and do as you pleased? did you help him relax from a longs day of work? did he always work late hours? if so why? what could have caused him on your part to turn this way/ don't get me wrong. I am not saying this is your fault on any terms so don't go beating yourself up over it. Chill out and look at things from all view points. Sit down and talk to him communication is the very reason why relationships including marriages die. Hit me up with more information and above all NO take him back. What if it were you? he might sit love you, everyone makes mistakes and falls short of the word! talk to him you can ask him what she did that you didn't? also ask yourself this did I bring him lunch? stop by to see him at work? did I know his co-workers? if not get to know them become good friends with them. That way you show him you care about him and respect him. Now, when you get back with him(hope you do) then don't be all up into him all the time. Still trust him although it will be hard and give him space. Email me at Learyfreena2007@Yahoo.com I hope to hear from you soon. Best wishes to you and I will keep you in my prayers. Feel free to stop an email by. My name is Stephanie.
2007-08-11 10:54:10 · answer #1 · answered by Stephanie L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would make him stay in the cold for a while. Make sure he knows what he put at risk to lose when he cheated. If he stays away from "the hunter" at work, and remains constantly devoted during that time, then just maybe he deserves another chance. I would say that is more of a judgement call though. It sounds like you're not quite ready to let go. Living in doubt is a very hard thing to do. If he can't stop cheating without quitting his job, then he probably isn't worth it. He should not have to quit his job to keep himself from doing it.
2007-08-11 10:02:32 · answer #2 · answered by Chickypoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reality check! Fell prey? If he did not want to nothing and nobody could have forced him. So now he realizes it was a mistake. Sounds more like he is strattling the fence. If she works with him and it bothered him so much being reminded of the mistake, I think he would have already found a different job whether or not you took him back. What about you? What do you want?
2007-08-11 09:59:41 · answer #3 · answered by peggy m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I would guess I say maybe its legal. Since your divorce had been granted its possible thats its legal but I would contact an attorney to be sure. If its not, then you and your husband can always have a quick second wedding at the courthouse. I just looked it up and there is no waiting period after your final decree in West Virginia so you can legally marry the day your decree arrives.
2016-04-01 04:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband is truly sorry for his adultery, then he should respect your request to quit his current job (where the other women is located) and move on the another place of employment. It will serve him no good to constantly see the other women - it will on serve to initiate the adultery again. Stick to you demands.
Also, has he consented to accountability with you and another male friend who can be trusted. Adultery is a behavioral pattern and needs to be addressed with a stern commitment on his part. If he has a problem with telling you where he or who he is with, then move on - he'll just do it again.
PastorJP02.
2007-08-11 10:01:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U have to give him another chance talk to him and let him know why u and how u can fix it . It doesn't matter what ppl think but you what is matter if u think that u can life with out him and don't want to do that then have divorce and end it if that ll make u happier !!
2007-08-11 09:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by Tiger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your minimizing his involvement in the affair just to keep your own sanity. He willingly slept with this woman and I would almost bet my life that he came on to her. I wouldn't take him back, if your going to be ok financially then what do you need him for, he's only going to hurt you emotionally again...trust me once a cheater always a cheater...this won't be the first time he does it...move on.
2007-08-11 09:52:31 · answer #7 · answered by Steven's Mommy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of it comes to what you feel. If you truly love him, give him a chance with a VERY stern warning that if he strays again, its over. And stick to it. If you don't think you still love him, let him go. I agree with having him find a new job though.
2007-08-11 10:01:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can assess your desire to be married, hon, but you. And no one knows what you went thru, but you. And no one can decide for you if this is the way you wish to spend the rest of your life.... only you. In your place, I'd get a few sessions of counseling to have a pro help me see all the pros and cons to this.... good luck
If it were me? I only remember what one old friend once told me...."the only thing good reheated is stuffed cabbage."
2007-08-11 10:03:08 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He "fell prey" to a woman at his workplace? Sorry, I don't buy that at all. Sounds like he's saving himself by saying this to you, I haven't heard one word about him loving you or it not happening again. It sounds like he's being manipulative.
2007-08-11 09:57:56 · answer #10 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋