When I was 19, I got involved with a man who was 36 (yes, he was married then). I loved him, but after about 3 months together, I broke things off. Still, over the next 3 years we hooked up with each other about once every couple of months. Sometimes more, sometimes less. We talked and laughed and loved. I was crazy about him and he was about me. I knew he could never leave his wife for me and I never asked him to. I always settled for what part of him I could get. When I was 22, I got married. This ended us for about 5 years. Then, we met up with each other again. I realized then that I still loved him very much. But, I had made a committment to my husband and I honored that committment. My problem is that I still love this other man. I think about him every day. I miss him so much sometimes that it breaks my heart. He called a couple of months ago and said he still loved me too. It's not about sex. We haven't had sex in 8 years. How do I get over him and move on with my life?
2007-08-11 08:16:32 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
... I feel for you on this one ...
If you have love for eachother, then you have love for eachother... you can't just stop feeling love when you want to. Distancing yourself and being faithful is about the most you can do. Just think about everything your husband is to you and how realistically, unless he left his wife and you left your husband, that you two can never be together. Focus on that. Then pour yourself into making your husband happy. Maybe you and your husband should take a trip and renew the initial feelings of love and lust, it will be a good distraction.
2007-08-11 08:27:47 · answer #1 · answered by HE'S NOT INTO ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think some of the advice you were given is disgusting. He was married then and still married now, you are MARRIED now, you have a husband that you should put above all others as he should have done his wife. Between the 2 of you where is the morals or standards are the both of you so selfish that you have others in your lives but continue to chase each other. The right thing would for him to do was not inter into a sexual relationship with you, BECAUSE HE IS MARRIED. The next thing is why would you marry another man knowing you were really in love with the married guy? Is that fair to your husband? Would you like your hubby panting after another woman? How do you think his wife would feel if she found out? It probably does not even bother you the hell you are setting up for others because of the 2 of you being so selfish. Both of you need to come clean to your spouses about whats going on. Maybe one day they might forgive you for all the deception..
2007-08-11 16:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion its not love! its more of an illusion of what both of you can't have. Things are very different if you two were to be in a real relationship! because that is when you will see each other true colors! Every relationship is wonderful! at first and when you don't see each other all the time. Its wonderful because you put the best of you and give quality time! and gives the illusion that it will ALWAYS! be this way. Well, IT WON'T!!. I think the best thing for you is to concentrate in your husband and marriage! YOUR! decision of being married its done! Put it this way! if he TRULY loves you! WHY AFTER 5 YEARS HE STILL MARRIED? Why he didn't stop your marriage? What is going to happend when you have a baby? Let it go! and be happy because! what goes around comes around. If you keep on with this! one day! your husband will be that "married guy" to another girl.
2007-08-11 15:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by alma c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pour those feelings into your husband unless you want to break your husband's heart or even worse, what if your husband met an ex or whatever and fell in love with her? Would you care or want to know if he had a lover on the side? If you think it wouldn't hurt you, then by all means, go ahead and hook up again with this ex. What do you have to lose? Oh yeah, a marriage.
2007-08-11 15:47:53 · answer #4 · answered by Yankee Micmac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have two choices. One, never contact him again and don't let him contact you. move on. Option 2 is to go ahead and have the affair. After all, he put his marriage on the line to be with you and you had no problem with that. So, return him the same consideration. That way you both can have your cake and eat it too. Either way, good luck. E mail me if you need more.
2007-08-11 15:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You respect his choice to stay married and if you truly care for him you won't allow any contact.
You get over him by giving your husband a 100% effort to make your marriage work......he deserves no less from you.
There's a word that would fit here....honorable.
2007-08-11 15:29:31 · answer #6 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon eternal hell is the price you would pay for that coupling so just keep that in mind !
2007-08-11 15:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋