My husband never wants to do anything that I do?

Question

He never wants to go anywhere on a weekend he would rather sit on the computer or play his guitar.
If we go out he only wants to go to the local pub, I like the theatre, concerts, eating out if fact anything other than the local.
Any ideas how to get him to be more sociable as I am at the end of my tether with him

Answer 1

You may be at the end of your tether, but you're not attached at the hip. Just because you're married doesn't mean that you have to do everything together. Why not do things that interest you with friends and let your husband be content to do the things he finds relaxing.

Answer 2

I had a similar problem with mine. I resolved the matter by leaving him. Maybe this is a bit extreme for you though, if you get on well in general with exception to this problem. Sit him down and tell him how you feel. He must be bored doing the same things every night, ie - computer and guitar. Why not split the week up into 3 nights doing what you want to do, and 4 nights doing what he wants to do? If he won't listen, tear the computer out of the wall and throw it out of the window. Grab the guitar and smash him over the head with it. I think this will be sufficient to prove your point. Good luck.

Answer 3

Good God.......I am totally shocked at the responses people are giving you to a very sensitive question you have asked. I cannot believe the insensitivity of people on this site. Being told to leave your partner over a problem that probably has a really easy solution shows exactly why there are so many divorces........people don't want to put the effort into making a partnership/marriage work.......it is easier just to walk away. I work in the medical arena and I can tell you that there are many reasons why your partner may not be his usual self with you. I would be urging him to get medical assistance to find out why he is libido is down. Talk gently with him. This would be very difficult for him to come to terms with and he probably feels he is hurting your feelings constantly as well. This is not easy for either one of you. So just start with the medical professionals and work your way from there. I truly hope that you find a resolution to this very sensitive problem. Try not to listen to the negative people on this site. You have a very real problem within your relationship and you reached out for help and got a hefty dose sarcasm.

Answer 4

My partner and I are the same; I have tried, in vain, to get him to do things as part of a couple. We go to an occasional movies together, or the occasional family "do". But at this stage, I have to admit that our interests are different. He likes opera; I hate it. We do the things we like separately from each other; I must admit that he would just be a liability because he would go along to something just to please me, but then spend the time moaning or being critical!
We DO holiday together; and we have the odd meal out too.It's not too bad. I, too, hate our local!

Go ahead and book tickets for something you want to go to, then tell him. He may go; if he does, make sure you book a table for a meal as well...make an evening of it. Both my partner and myself do that, if we feel the other may be "iffy" about going somewhere, and usually the other will tag along, and it turns out fine.

I guess at the end of the day, you can't make him be interested in your stuff; but I see nothing wrong in a couple going out for meal together no matter how opposite they are!

Answer 5

Its sounds the same as the one i got, his mum bought a caravan and he goes up there most week ends walking on his own or he does take our son some times, I just go out with out him now and started a life without him, men don't change don't waste your times find other people to out with after 16 years i not trying any more, Good luck

Answer 6

Your husband sounds like a lot of men. We are brought up to not show our feelings and so it is not unusual for men to develop lone pursuits. Computers and guitars are very typical.

Put simply...he doesn't know how to share a relationship in the way you want him to. The answer to this is to help and teach him! Trust me...have the patience and the time to do what his parents should have done when he was a kid...and he will be the man you want him to be!

Forget any stupid bigot answers you get...You married him...so help him out of what he doesn't even know is throwing his life away!

Answer 7

I'm a bit of a stick at home too.....what my husband does is makes plans for us to do something different.

He'd do all the work and even though at first I wasn't too thrilled I would end up having a realy good time.

Try that and maybe you'll ge to do some things you like.

Answer 8

here i would suggest that u both should have a bit compromise becoz breaking a marriage is far worst than compromise belive me!
the things which u hav told r very natural to men, and he is not a bad man becz theaters ,movies r always romantic 4 girls but not 4 guys as they are build as more practical than girls bcoz they hav to do the duty of competing the challenging world.Let him do wat he wants,praise him for playing nice guitar,prove ur presence and value by giving him moral defeat.
u have a long life to live wid him so give him some time,understand him and slowly and finaly he will get u.....

Answer 9

ahh babe!

I don't know what to say. i split up with my boyfriend yesterday beacuse of the same thing. I didn't think we were compatible!

Well your way past that so i think your best bet is to compromise. One weekend you agree to do what he wants and the next weekend it's your choice. Marriage is a compromise and if he loves you he will at least give it a go without moaning.

hope it works out babe!

Answer 10

If he is not willing to do anything, then there is nothing that you can do 'to make him.' And, if he is not up to a bit of negotiation over this, then maybe you'd best rethink whether you need to or want to continue with what you have presently got.

He's made his choices, now you're perfectly entitled to make yours.

Good luck.
Sash.