'some people build walls, not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break them down...'?

Question

have you ever known someone like this?

Answer 1

It's a defense mechanism. It built from life experiences (negative, hurtful ones - can be many or one sever - which can also determine the strength of the wall). You can't break it down. Only the person who built the wall could choose to let you in. They don't open the door for just anyone and it can take a long time). But doors can be opened. When they do open the door, it may only be a little at a time. (But it's worth the wait - they usually have a lot to offer on the inside). Yes, I do know people like this.

Answer 2

I agree. The old adage that you always erupt on those you love {knowing that they love and care enough to seek out why you are acting or doing the things you are}. And totally smiling, grinning and baring the crap that are being thrown at you from the outside and from so called friends {too scared to put these walls that should be up, and say what you need to say for fear they will walk away and not care}. Hopefully you will finally one day be liberated by knowing who you are, what you want and don't want, and love yourself enough and those with whom you have a true relation/friend-ship, to not put those walls up, but tare them down. It's all a choice, love of self, respect and part of self esteem. And no one can do that for you or give you this. It's called self esteem for a reason {Self} can only give you {Esteem}. More people need to realize the power that they have for themselves and not give that power to others to control. Great Question!!! Thank you for giving me pause, it was truly needed, smile!!!

Answer 3

I am that person. My walls are up to protect me from more problems and heartache. If somebody truly cares enough about me to climb over that wall than they are someone i will welcome with open arms. This is how i approach love. To love those who love me. I just need to be shown, as i have a hard time with trusting new people.

Answer 4

I quickly remove them from my life.

Passing these trust tests of people only causes others to walk away. The become self-fulfilling prophecies. Testing others is a manipulative way to lead a live that usually results in unhappiness.

A person who has this agenda is always going to be testing and never believing that others care. They are too much work to maintain relationships with. I pass.

Answer 5

I used to be someone like that. It's a lonely existence because most "walls" are misinterpreted. People assume you are shutting them out--sometimes it's a test to see how much you care.

I'm not saying it's right. And I'm glad to have grown.

Answer 6

. . .and if somebody DOES try to break those walls down, you will want him/her to fail! That is why you have built those walls so strong. Your walls will stand. You have made sure about that.

You have put it just right, you just want to see who cares enough about you to (want) to break those walls down.

Answer 7

I discover such people are seldom aware of their motivations. Nonetheless, a wall divides regardless of intent.

Answer 8

That sounds like a recipe for loneliness. I have embraced loneliness, so I don't need walls.

Answer 9

yes, but boy did i do alot of hacking to tht wall b4 i did
=)

Answer 10

Dear -- introversion is *not* shyness, low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, anti-sociability, a "closed heart"...nor is it "building walls". It is merely a state of being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life rather than being predominantly concerned with and obtaining gratification from what is outside the self. If you need gratification from outside yourself, take responsibility for that need and seek extroverts instead of trying to change introverts into something they're not.