I have been with my husband for 3 years and at 1st the in-laws didn’t like me. Now I am 8 mos pregnant and my husband leaves me alone at home when he visits his family. We have them over for holidays occasionally but they ask him to meet them for lunch during the week (when I’m at work), or to come over to their home and he never invites me. His mother asked him not to bring me over because she had to move to a bad area and is embarrassed. I talked to him about this and he still leaves me at home when he goes. Since we will all be completely family when the baby comes I want to get closer to them but my husband is not helping the situation.
2007-08-11 04:47:20 · 13 answers · asked by femscorp2000 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also, i have asked his mother many times to luch, she accepted but never came.
2007-08-11 05:02:28 · update #1
Doesn't sound like your in laws are interested in getting closer to you. That is on them. You may have to accept the fact that they have not accepted you. Not your fault, the fault is their's. Just be yourself and don't worry about them and their opinion. If they don't like you for who you are, that is their problem.
2007-08-11 04:56:33 · answer #1 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Girl, after reading some of the answers I was shocked that we are so callus a generation that we throw away our children and husbands, and even in-laws (actually I'm sort of in favor of throwing out the in-laws, lol). I didn't read anything in your question where you are even remotely at a stage to dispose of everything and everyone. I read allot into questions too! Like with yours, I can see that the in-laws are a lesser class than you and don't like this at all! So your only actions are to either accept the alienation, or to force yourself on to them until they decide it is impossible to hide from you any longer. Please realize that them and "your" parents will not ever get along! This is a volatile mixture no matter how you stir it. If I were you, I would start asking your mother in law for advice right and left. Yes I know that you probably know volumes more than her on any subject, but, this will endear you toward her. Everyone knows the only way into an in-laws family is not through the husband, but, his mother! She may be a lower class than you, but, don't think she is less intelligent on figuring most things out. Be discrete in your questions. Make them difficult! Adult and mature! Win her over and you are in!
2007-08-11 05:12:22 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call his mom and break the ice, invite her over for lunch and ask how your relationship with her can be repaired because you feel awful that your husband will not take you and since he visits her often, you hope your relationship can be repaired. Do not tell your husband you are going to do this. Just tell his mom the truth and how sorry you are that you may have done anything to offend her . . Be gracious no matter what.
2007-08-11 04:55:52 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa of America 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just take it into your own hands. It might be uncomfortable for both of you at first, but it could possibly get better as long as you don't make a nussence(sp?) of yourself and you are respectful of their overall wishes. Drop by to say hi for a few minutes and then leave. Do that a few times and see how it goes. Then maybe work up to longer visits untill they become more comfortable with you.
2007-08-11 05:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by Yomi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like a pretty bad situation but it's nothing you can't fix. You need to sit your husband down and lay it on the table in black and white for him. Tell him how it makes you feel and be very honest and straight forward. If he won't do anything about it then stand up for yourself. Why don't you just give his mother a call and invite her to lunch or something and tell her how you feel. Be nice and straight forward with her. She will have to love you for standing up for yourself and not making your husband, her son the middle man for your guys problems.
2007-08-11 04:57:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to build your own relationship with them. Your husband is not responsible for your relationship with your in-laws. Start calling them and inviting them to dine with you. You have to make the effort.
Best of luck and congratulations on your baby!
2007-08-11 05:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they are oddballs, and you just have to accept it.
i'm sure feeling left out isn't very comforting, but is it worth trying to get them to do something when they don't want to?
your husband is also very odd...
concentrate on YOU time when he's with them.. go out with a friend, pamper yourself, shop for something nice you like, read a book or do whatever you want.
do you really "need" them ? i don't think so.
2007-08-11 05:08:18 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the in laws, but rather your husband is embarrassed to be seen with you in front of them. Try counseling
2007-08-11 04:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The problem you have is with your husband not his parents. If he won't take you along to his parent's home that is HIS fault not theirs.
2007-08-11 13:42:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds very disfunctional. I'd seek professional help for you and your husband.
2007-08-11 05:13:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋