Firefly
Thou' twilight yards,
darken shades of color,
seen by moonlight.
Fireflies dance,
on currents of air,
flashing for mates.
Children chase,
tiny beacons of light.
Fun and games for one!
Life and death for other!
2007-08-11 04:43:09 · 5 answers · asked by Coop 366 7 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
This brings back childhood memories. However, I'm not wild about your use of "Thou'" in the opening line. It reads as "You twilight yards,....". Is this what you are looking for in answers and it that what you intended in your opening line?
2007-08-11 04:58:33 · answer #1 · answered by Retailslave 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Similar subject matter as one I wrote years ago, still reads well, and since mine never got published, I know you didn't get it from me, plus the fact that I use a totally different style.
Keep up the good work, hope to see you in print.
2007-08-11 13:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by Dondi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if the archaic thou helps you much in the beginning. I think it's a good poem, but if I were revising I would consider cutting the first three lines.
2007-08-11 14:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by Todd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one! The ending caught me off guard - which is fun, indeed. I would star it, if I knew how to star - LOL.
2007-08-11 13:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by Marguerite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like this poem coop, it captures the imagination..but i also liked your first poem to.
'' into a moonbeam a soul did flew..''
2007-08-11 12:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋