Sad/worried about health?

Question

I'm a 20 yo guy who was born with a heart defect. I've had many surgeries to correct it and am pretty healthy today, but I have been told I'll need more surgery in the future, and obviously noone can tell me the future. I'm worried I'll die earlier than otherwise because of my illness. I feel depressed about having this illness in the first place and my future.

I cant help but wonder why me. What'd I do to deserve being born this way when the majority of people are born perfectly healthy.

Answer 1

I don't want to underplay what you've gone through RG but the longer I live the more I start to realize..life is just one big crap shoot. I decided a while back just to take each day that's given to me and let tomorrow take care of itself. Since I've adopted that philosophy I'm enjoying life a lot more. Unfortunately, none of us are guaranteed 60,70, or 80 years. Just turn on the nightly news and you'll see what I mean. I wish you all the best friend.

Answer 2

A different prospective from the other posts....I am the mother of a 7 yr old that has had 5 Open Hearts, I found out when I was 22 weeks pregnant, I thought it was the end of my world, this stuff does not happen to me!!! Then I educated myself on the condition he was going to be born with (Tricuspid Atresia), and put it in Gods hands, Im not really a religious person but what other choice did I have. I felt soooo sorry for myself, then he was born, we were in the hospital for the first month of his life and I was fine, the day we got home it hit me, depression, my doctor put me on Paxil, now Im on Lexapro, it really helped. Fast forward to 2007, we have gone through 5 heart surgeries and numerous caths ect. and I do not think about the long term future for him anymore no more than I do for my healthy heart kids. I see how far medical advances have come in the past 20 years on this subject and I keep up with ALL the current research. Whats going to be will be, if you are doing pretty good right now, then do good right now, if tomorrow you start having some atrial flutter, then go see your doctor and have it fixed. Deal with everything day by day, live for NOW are you are going to drive yourself and family crazy. I can tell you are pretty depressed, please see your doctor about getting on an anti depressant, I recommend Lexapro. Good Luck Stacey

Answer 3

I can understand going through repeated surgeries would certainly be depressing.
However you need to be thankful that you are well today and count your blessings. Everyone can look at someone else in life and say that they have it so much better than I . Bigger house, better job, better body, but this train of thought is self defeating. Having a pitty party over what you don't have and can't change is a waste of time. All of us regardless of our circumstances only get to pass through this life once. And no one is guaranteed a long life, no one.
Be thankful for all that you have come through, and for the science and doctors that have helped you thus far. Be thankful for all that you have in your life, because no one knows what tomorrow will hold.

Answer 4

sorry to hear of your illness but if I were you I would live everyday to the fullest. I would not worry about the inevitable we will all die someday but we don't worry about it because it will put you in a state of depression.only God knows why you were born with this abnormality. Here is my philosophy on the way I look at things . If there is something i can do to correct it then I will if not there is no need to worry about. Wish you the best.

Answer 5

Well at least you are aware you have to look after yourself. My ex smokes and drinks heavily and he has a heart defect and has had surgery. One minute he is scared he is going to die and the next, not even thinking about it.

You didn't deserve to be born this way. People are not given defects because they deserved them. Look at it this way......maybe the Devil was going to kill you while you were mountain climbing at age 25 but God gave you the defect so that you would not go mountain climbing and thus he saved your life!!!

Answer 6

well you know you have it, if you are cleared for exercise the heart is a muscle, eating right and exercise can help keep it healthy,

live life my friend, no sense in wondering when the day will come, you can die many different ways then your heart giving out, I am sure the people in the World Trade Center were not thinking of dying the day the planes struck the towers, I am sure someone killed by a drunk driver were not thinking about death,,

so live your life,, alot of people have it alot worse off than you do,, no sense in feeling sorry for yourself,,

if you continue to ask your self why you were born with it and no one else, you wont ever be happy, look around you, look at babies that were born to crack mothers, they didnt ask for that either, there are alot of people out there worse.

Answer 7

here became sent to me a number of years in the past and nonetheless facilitates me! it could enable you too: issues that can help in making you experience stable! think of roughly them one after the different until eventually now occurring to the subsequent one. It does make you experience stable, noticeably the assumption on the top #forty 5. a million. Falling in love. 2. guffawing so troublesome your face hurts. 3. A warm bathe. 4. No lines on the food market. 5. a definite look. 6. Getting a card or letter in the mail 7. Taking a force on a exceptionally street. 8. listening to your fashionable music on the radio.! 9. mendacity in mattress listening to the rain exterior. 10. warm towels clean out of the dryer. 11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry). 12. A bubble bath. thirteen. guffawing 14. a stable communique. 15. The coastline sixteen. finding a 20 greenback invoice on your coat from final iciness. 17. guffawing at your self. 18. finding into someones eyes and understanding that they Love you 19. nighttime telephone calls that final for hours. 20. working via sprinklers. 21. guffawing for definitely no reason in any respect. 22. Having somebody inform you which you're alluring. 23. guffawing at an interior shaggy dog tale 24. acquaintances. 25. by threat overhearing somebody say some thing advantageous approximately you. 26. Waking up and determining you nonetheless have some hours left to sleep. 27. Your first kiss (the two the 1st actual or with a clean companion). 28. Making new acquaintances or spending time with previous ones. 29 twiddling with a clean domestic dog or kitten. 30. Having somebody play which contain your hair. 31. candy targets. 32. warm chocolate. 33. street journeys with acquaintances. 34. Swinging on swings. 35. Making eye touch with a lovable stranger. 36. Making chocolate chip cookies. 37. Having your pals deliver you selfmade cookies. 38. protecting hands with somebody you care approximately. 39. working into an previous chum and determining that some issues (stable or undesirable) by no ability exchange. forty looking on the expression on somebody's face as they open a plenty wanted recent from you. forty-one. looking on the daybreak. forty two. Getting away from mattress each morning and being grateful for yet another alluring day. forty 3. understanding that somebody misses you. forty 4. Getting a hug from somebody you care approximately deeply. forty 5. understanding you have carried out the applicable component, no count what individuals think of.

Answer 8

Okay, 20 year old guy, from a 71 year old guy. I lost a son that was perfectly healthy, just being a boy who climbed a tree, a limb broke and he landed on his head--never to regain consciousness. Eight years old, why him, why to me. You want to know why you--I will share the answer I got. I do not mean to offend anyone who do not believe in a God, but God promised each of us a time here on earth--not a set of years, just a time.
Each of us that make it here influence others by the way we live--that can be good or it can be bad. Does not alter the fact that we influence others. My son had a profound impact on me and my life due to the great love he and I shared--but in his death--He forced me to look toward God for answers. In the process, I now have a profound relationship with God the Creator--Michael's death helped to do that.
Guy of 20--The best you can do, the best any of us can do, is live this day at our best. Not one thing in your past-your yesterdays, can you change--the good or the ugly. You cannot change that which does not exist--tomorrow. so all you have is NOW, today. No one is promised more. Make the best you possibly can of TODAY.
First, get a relationship with the living God, the true God. I realize this is not what you asked for. Talking this way is not popular but at 71, I can testify it is the best advice you will ever receive. Second, quit thinking on the negative of your life. There is so much good you can do, help others understand why them. Get your mind off dying, operations, your self--get it on God and others. There is the story of the fellow who complained during the winter because he had no shoes. Each day he complained until he saw a man with no feet. You have an ailment, but more importantly you have a life, you have influence on others, many worse off than you. If you get to know God, you can help them understand why them. You are not being punished, you did nothing wrong you are just like Timmy a person in my past.
Timmy could not walk, he had no legs. He scooted from place to place on a platform which had casters on the bottom. One night at a revival, the evangelist challenged the congregation made up mostly with college age youth, to give their lives in God's service. As the invitation was being given, it seemed like all the healthy bodies of this group were coming down the aisles. They wanted to be in God's service. Suddenly in the back of the church was a noise, the evangelist found out it was just Timmy, you see Timmy could not walk down as the others were, he had to use his noisy platform.
The evangelist went to meet Timmy, and asked him if he could help him. Timmy looked into the face of the evangelist, and said, 'Preacher, I look around and can understand why God would want to use these fine young bodies, all healthy and in one piece.' 'My question to you sir, can God use me?'

Those around who could hear the question stood, waited for the answer with tears rolling down their cheeks. Finally, with tears rolling down his cheek, the evangelist answered Timmy.

'Timmy, you are just what God is looking for.'
Guy of 20, you just may be what God is looking for if you are willing.

jay b

Answer 9

Instead of worrying about possibly dying early (which you cannot do anything about), why not resolve to make the most of the life that you have now?

Many people who are born with various birth defects have excelled at various things simply because they put their mind to it. I know of a Mixed Martial Arts champion (Timothy Ferriss) who was born with only one good lung. Another MMA fighter at our martial arts school has only one good arm, but can defeat most normal people in a Jiu-Jitsu grappling bout.

Your life is what you make it to be. Quit worrying about what you do not have, and focus on what is good about your life -- and improve on those areas.

Answer 10

hi,just stay in touch with your doctor,keep allyour appt and if things change in between then dont hestitate to go see him,i had heart attack at age 30 because of strep throat which triigered a muscle diease.(i had never had health proplems before)and after that i would bust out crying thinking i was going to die,,i could be anywhere and that would hit me,i was told that was common for heart paitents,i live my life one day at a time and try to find good in everything.we are not suppose to ask why.we could be alot worse then we are..take care