A few nights ago i told him that i was no longer happy, this was when i was driving home, and suddenly he started sobbing saying how much he loves me and how much it hurt him that i said that. We've been going out for 3 years, and he's never cried once infront of me, ever.
So i felt bad and i couldnt do it then... I know he is a suicidal type, when his life gets at an all time low, he becomes suicidal, since he was a child around 7 he was known to be self destructive. I dont know what to do... I still love him as a friend, but as a boyfriend... our romance kind of fizzled no matter how hard i tried to love him in a romatic way again, i don't think i can be with someone who i've fallen out of love with.
What can i do or say to him, i dont want him to hurt himself.
Some additional details...
Hes 21 and im a few weeks shy from 20
We also have a 2 year old girl together my parents adopted her
Were both getting our doctors degree
2007-08-10 21:11:31 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
We recently moved to a different state, i moved closer to be with my family. He still hasnt made friends yet since school hasn't started, and his family lives 10,000 miles away. He has absoutely no shoulder to lean on.
2007-08-10 21:18:49 · update #1
Yes i am in pre-med this will be my junior year. This will be his first year in medical school. He has seen help for his self destructive tendencies, but nothing worked, he had a very bad childhood growing up no tranqilizer or no psyco-therapist could ease his hurt. I am completely lost.
Sara K i absoutely loved your response, it's the right push i needed to hear.
2007-08-10 21:31:36 · update #2
He is from glasglow, scotland .. and moved to london, england when his father left his mother.. They graduate at 16/17, unlike america who graduates at 17/18.
This explains why he is 21 and got accepted into John A Burns medical school in hawaii. I also attened the university there, i just transferred from rutgers university in new jersey.
2007-08-10 21:35:02 · update #3
How's this..
forget i said im getting my doctors degree.. pretend i said im aiming for my doctors degree in oral and maxo surgey, im still a pre-med(dental) student, i will be getting my bachleors degree in pre-med when i turn 22. while he is a medical school student, freshman year, trying to be a fertility specialist.
2007-08-10 21:46:43 · update #4
YOu have to be honest with this person and tell them that you no longer love them. if you think he may take it badly get someone who will support him to be on standby to help him get through it.
You cannot live a lie with him but can let him know that he will always be in your life due to your daughter.
2007-08-10 21:17:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
HI Believe or not I'm going threw something like what you are going through. I understand how hard it is to let go after many years together. But honesty is hard to come across in many young people today. You were honest with him he can't take it because of everything that you all have been through together. what i did was this i told him the truth he said he would hurt himself so i became his best friend. his shoulder to lean on we were at the same college so we had to see each other. After time past he finally saw that If he really care or loved me the way he said he does than he would get his **** together an then you never know what the future may bring. And he would rather be a positive influence on my life than someone that's stressing me out so now we still care for one another he still even tells me that he wants to be with me now. I tried to give you a quick view. But its your life babe only you can come up with the real answer you know what you really have to do. Just be careful and if you wanna here more just let me know OK
Bless ya both
2007-08-10 22:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by bedroomeyes_82 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
I no longer love my boyfriend but hes still deeply in love...?
A few nights ago i told him that i was no longer happy, this was when i was driving home, and suddenly he started sobbing saying how much he loves me and how much it hurt him that i said that. We've been going out for 3 years, and he's never cried once infront of me, ever.
So i felt bad...
2015-08-23 07:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by Kortney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's awful. It's awful and terribly sad for him, heartbreak is the worst. But time heals everything. You should, and basically have to tell him the truh if you want your future to be happy, with real love and romance in your life, and not to mention his also, he could find someone new that he will love and she will love him back romantically. He probably won't be able to even think about that becaues he loves you so much, but maybe he is just crying more of the thought of losing you. Just tell him, that he isn't losing you, and that it's not that you are unhappy, (cause that will make him think hes depressing you), just tell him, the truth, r"omantically, I just don't have that feeling anymore. I love you and always will, we need to support each other and our child, but I will make you miserable and we will both be miserable together if I try to pretend everything is ok."
TEll him you dont want him to hurt himself because that would be immature and selfish especially because he has a child and that hes smarter than that. I think he should know not to. Of course he will be depressed...but it will fade with time. It heals everything.
2007-08-10 21:22:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your educational level is pre Med., (I assume you don't have masters degree at 20), he should be sharp
enough to accept the suggestion that he needs counseling for that self destructive tendency.
You want to be a friend, you should see to that.
Maybe you can stay friends, (after that awkward break-up period).
Otherwise, if the relationship won't work, it won't work, and it hurts both of you to waste time on it.
Be kind, but it's a mistake to be too kind.
2007-08-10 21:26:04 · answer #5 · answered by Irv S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
Before i suggest you something worthy of your consideration , can you clarify to me that can a doctorate degree be awarded at the age of 20 or 21, what is the doctorate degree you will be awarded with?
rajeev h
2007-08-10 21:30:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This shows that he really does love u. Try doing things together like candle lit dinners or movies or something like that. Or just remember the good times u had together.
2007-08-10 21:30:21 · answer #7 · answered by rhe_abhatia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is really hard. Because you don't want him to hurt himself but you wanna be happy to. I feel for you here. Try to sit down with him and tell him how you feel. Tell him you'll do anything to make him happy and that you don't want to completely be out of his life.
2007-08-10 21:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by Nikki C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just give him another chance , or you cud tell him deeply in your heart that you can't love him anymore, tell this in a kind way and let him know how you truly feel but if you love him then don't dump him
2007-08-10 21:24:48 · answer #9 · answered by kloie_08 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
doctorates in your early 20s? you two should be smart enough to figure it out on your own.
2007-08-10 21:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by thrak2011 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋