why do we feel the need to know others opinions if we end up doing what we want...?

Question

I mean...friends often come for me for advice or my opinion on a certain situation..and then dont even apply my words od wisdom into consideration when it comes to making a decision..they to the total opposite? dont get me wrong i do it too...i dont know why..for example i can ask which i better item A or item B..i like item A and know thats the one i will get but i still manage to ask..which one do u like which one is better which one should i get..they all say Item B yet i still get item A after hearing everyones advice or opinions...its not just with materialistic things but with real life situations as well...why do we do this..ask even thogh we already know in our hearts we know the answer...i guess if we followed our hearts there would be no need for yahoo answers huh?what do u think?-(i did it again lol)

Answer 1

Very good question. Personally I think it's mostly due to our own human nature. We want to know what others think or would do because we don't want to feel alone, even though we may not take their advice. My mother, for instance, is constantly asking what should she do--I've been fielding that question from her since I was 7--but rarely does she listen.

Answer 2

What we say to others doesn't always (or often) take effect immediately. Cumulatively, though, hearing enough times from enough trusted sources that such-and-such is true can influence a person profoundly.
___If you ever have kids, keep this in mind, especially when they're adolescents. It helps you to be patient with them when they're going through their making-their-own-mistakes phase. Think of it as planting a seed when you give advice, and on subsequent occasions, you'll have time to nurture those ideas.
___Following your heart isn't always the best thing to do. It can often just be following your impulsiveness or romantic fantasies or inappropriate desires. "Following your heart" is an expression best used to refer to following your deepest desires after they've persisted through some years of being tested by other momentary fascinations, others' disagreements, talking them over with others, one's own doubts, etc. Your "heart" or your "gut" or your "intuitive thinking" is mostly the collective summing up of your unconscious, and it is subject to learning and being influenced, but more gradually than your conscious thoughts.
___The human conscious mind takes practice to use well. Adolescents have difficulties managing the subtleties of consciousness, as do many adults. So stay safe, try to do the right thing as understand it, and keep an open mind (don't get brainwashed by peer pressure or intellectual and ethical fads). Your "heart" will become increasingly reliable if you treat is as a faculty that is in training.

Answer 3

Asking another's opinion either stems from a desire / need to have one's personal worth reaffirmed, or simply from the need to "bounce" an idea off someone => how does this sound when it is voiced. And sometimes when we ask another's opinion we can get some really useful information that will change our first choice.

And Yahoo answers, like all the other blog environments, is a reflection of the human need to create "community."

Answer 4

People like to be re-assured.

There's three main reasons that people ask for other's opinions on what to do, one being that they really don't know what to do and actually need guidance, one being that they want to be re-assured that what they're going to do in the long run is right and another is that they simply want to start a conversation.

It's all about re-assurance.
In saying that, a lot of people do act on other's guidance.

Answer 5

In no particular order,

Attention -- sometimes its just nice to bounce ideas off of others and get their feedback

Support -- they are looking for agreement and hoped you would support their choice

Stalling -- why choose or act, when you can talk about it -- over and over again

Loneliness -- creating problems is a great way to stay close to someone who may be drifting away

Inner loop -- sometimes its useful to do a reality test and check in with others

The hurtful one can be -- others see us as poor decision makers in life, they ask and then do the opposite of what we would do

Answer 6

I believe we want an assurance from ourselves before finally dwelling into the reality. Getting an opinion from other people doesn't assure one to follow it. It is still you who will judge whether to respect other's opinion. It happened to my wife many times. She will ask my opinion and later she will choose her own. I usually get curious why she needs to ask and when i gave her my opinion. Her own opinion wins. I pondered after a while, what for did she asked. Maybe to draw an opinion, to satisfy herself that she asked someone before divulging herself. Very humane attitude of a person.

Answer 7

It's nice to have people pick the one you want as it is a sign of their support for you. I once had someone tell me to flip a coin, but before the coin hits the table think about which one you want while you have the coin in the air. Try it; it works.

Answer 8

i feel we take advice from others so that we hear what we wish to but at last it's our mind which has to decide