Can I fix my relationship with my mom..?

Question

I have done a lot of positive changes in my life these past few years. My mom and I have gotten along off and on my whole life. She tends to be controlling, judgemental, and critical. My dad and I get along well. Anyway, this past week I was thinking of my relationship with her, and realized that even though I love her because she is my mom, I don't really like her. When I try to think of ANYTHING we have in common, I can't come up with anything. I have wanted to talk to a therapist about this, but am waiting until I have health coverage. I fell like the way she raised me is the exact opposite of what I have become and I don't really agree with her beliefs. On top of this, she calls and complains endlessly about my dad. He works too much, is ever around, blah blah.... It's so frustrating. I can set up boundaries with her but she crosses them evertime. I am in my late twenties and married, but she still wants me to call her when I get home from visting her. Contd....

She even tries to give my husband and I gas money! She is overbearing and always has strings attached to something. I have a deep resentment for her and am not sure how to handle. I am questioning my life. My core values are so different than hers. Any advice?

In other words, I keep thinking - how did I come to be me when I am so different than my parents?

Answer 1

I think your mum is suffering from empty nest syndrome,she needs to be your mum or else she is nothing.You are concentrating on all the negatives and not the positives,just be thankful you still have parents.I wish mine were still alive faults and all.

Answer 2

Mom may be having a hard time letting go of her adult daughter, but the daughter is not exactly accepting of the gifts mom is offering! Whats the big deal about calling when you arrive home safely? I do it and so does my mom when she leaves my house.
When she calls complaining about your dad, tell her you are not comfortable listening to this and change the subject. If she persists, tell you have to go and hang up. Eventually she will get the message.