My parents have reached the point where the choices they make are not in their best interest. I believe they are no longer capable of making their own decisions, and I want to make the move into independent living against their wishes. Your advice?
2007-08-10 17:40:12 · 17 answers · asked by Yarnlady_needsyarn 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
When Ma fell, after coming home from heart surgery, Pop refused to call 911. He wanted her to get up by herself. He called Sis, who called 911.
2007-08-10 18:31:25 · update #1
Wow this is a tough one. It sounds like they really need housekeeping and meals provided. Without a Dr. saying they can no longer provide for themselves it is nearly impossible. There is no right or wrong answer to your question. I myself have suggested my own Mother sell her home and go into assisted living. She sleeps all day watches tv all night, does no house work her yard is a mess. She does not even take her dog out and lives with poop everywhere. If I had a down pat answer for you I'd be doing t for myself. But i look forward to reading suggestions from others that you get. Good Luck and they won't dislike you forever.
2007-08-11 04:22:51 · answer #1 · answered by Southern Comfort 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your father reaches the point where he is unable to provide for his own food, clothing or shelter or becomes a danger to himself or others due to a mental disability he can be legally hospitalized involuntarily. This is law in every state. If that happens he will become an inpatient in a mental health facility and evaluated and stabilized. During that process if it is determined that he will not be able to care for himself when he leaves the facility then the family will be called in to help decide the best course of action whether it be guardianship, a payee, living with family or in another place. This is for his own protection and the protection of others and is often the most reasonable thing to do even if he doesn't like it. You can talk with your local mental health department to find out the particulars of how they work it in your area and they will gladly give you free advice.
2016-03-16 21:14:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a care giver for elderly, (20 yrs) I've started giving my daughter examples of some of my patients and tell her that these are things to watch for as I age. But for your problem, maybe some in home help would be a way to help your parents make a transition and start giving up a little independence. A good experienced care giver can help you and them ease into a very touchy area. Email me if interested in more info or help with this idea vmhigg@yahoo.com
2007-08-11 04:27:52 · answer #3 · answered by stormy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they become a danger to themselves, forgetting to turn off the stove, not knowing the difference between night and day, getting lost 1 blk. from home, ect..or perhaps an in home health care provider if they have insurance or qualify for ssi. God luck. Hope someone else has better advise.
2007-08-11 11:07:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been down that path with my Mum...not an easy thing to do but sometimes tough decisions need to be made in their best interest ...
It's better to face that now while they still have their independance than have to go to the next step when they are incapable of caring for themselves.
My advice , choose the institution wisely & act now before their health starts to deteriorate
2007-08-10 18:37:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just like children cannot look after themselves, so seniors cannot.
Just as parents take care of children till a certain age, so children have to 'take over' after a certain age too.
If you do not need to move out into independent living, maybe you will be blessed.
I do not know the details of your situation. So who am I to comment.
But I see it happening all around me. Joint family system has broken up. So difficult for seniors.
What you wrote was shocking. But happens. I know a husband who could do nothing as his wife was having an asthma attack. Nothing new.
But she had to say, "call the doc"
or get this medicine
and take him through the routine.
Men become this way more than women.
2007-08-10 19:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would have to agree w/ Stormy.My brother & his wife took care Mom & Pop but they had a care giver that came in to help. Both Mom & Pop died @ home . But there is a thing called dignity & respect I just think a caregiver gives more opportunity for this~I wish you all the best
2007-08-11 20:15:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's going to be a long haul for you. Have you discussed this with them? Are the decisions actually bad for them or are they decisions you just don't agree with? There is no set age or time. If they are not endangering themselves you've little to go on. If they are, then you will have to go through an attorney.
2007-08-10 18:18:51 · answer #8 · answered by Grace 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
They will never admit they cannot decide for them selves. You need to get them to sign a guardianship paper designating you and your sis guardians of your parents in the event that two Dr. agree that each or your parents can no longer make safe decisions for themselves. Then when that time comes the state, welfare, or hospital can not come in a try to take over his/her estate.
2007-08-12 08:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by bsharpbflatbnatural 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When they cannot make a decision, plain and simple. Please don't do anything right now because they depend on each other.
I believe you mean into dependent living, or maybe assisted living. This is a horrible thing for them unless they are in their 80's and you have enough money to pay for it, because it is expensive.
2007-08-11 07:12:20 · answer #10 · answered by makeitright 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋