What are some different methods to help children deal with separation anxiety?

Answer 1

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Answer 2

In my experience, this usually starts to occur right around 9 months. It is actually a good thing...it means your child has bonded with his/her family unit and has made social and emotional connections! What I have done in the past with my girls is to have a grandparent or other extended family member or friend come over for a short period of time (maybe an hour). Tell you little one you are leaving for a short while but will be back soon. Make sure your little one sees you leaving, stay calm and happy yourself, and leave without getting upset. Only stay gone about 30 minutes or so. You might have to do this 3 or 4 times, but eventually him/her will understand that Mommy will be back, and everything is okay!

Also, if your child has a luvie or attachment object (blanket, bear, etc.), this is a great time to let them hold and hug it to reassure themsellf with something familiar!

Best of Luck!!

Answer 3

Separation from what?? MOM? Whatever it is that offers a child security and warmth and feelings of wellbeing, will not be there if they are removed from it. A child doesn't understand why they no longer have that security and warmth. They have to understand that there is still love when they are separated--they are still cared about--they are still a part of a unit--even when that unit is separated. Healthy communications ensures this security....talk talk talk--take the time to communicate and it shows love.

Answer 4

Hi there, I just laugh about my past 3 years of panic now. I was not able to go anywhere without carrying xanax. Fear of having another attack was the most important subject of my days.When i first found joe barry's web site i started to cry because of my happiness.

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Answer 5

diversional activities always works, when kids get hospitalized, that's the usual time when separation anxiety occurs and giving them activities that they enjoy usually helps. having their favorite toy or any favorite stuff at the bedside gives them their personal space. providing them playtime and giving them the ability to contact their parents helps a lot as well

Answer 6

tell them stories before they go to bed, and then tell them some little thing like "when the stars are out they are telling you 'I love you'. make up something. stuffed animals help A LOT too.

Answer 7

Throw them off a cliff...works for birds.

Answer 8

What is separation anxiety?
Separation anxiety is a normal developmental stage experienced by a child when separated from the primary caregiver. It typically manifests itself as crying and distress when a child is away from a parent or from home.

As time goes by and a child learns to feel safe in a new environment and secure that a parent or caregiver will return after an absence, anxiety over separation should fade.

The typical sequence of child development and parent/child attachment is as follows:

First few months: Babies don’t differentiate much among caregivers and usually can be calmed by any loving person, regardless of relationship. This is why new parents often get more emotional the first time they leave an infant with a babysitter or at day care than the baby does!
7-14 months: By about 7 months, babies realize that there’s only one Mommy and/or Daddy, but they don’t have a sense of time, so even if parents step into the next room for a minute, all the baby knows is that they’re gone — maybe forever! — and they’re going to cry or cling or do whatever it takes to keep that from happening. This phase is often called “stranger anxiety,” because even the happiest child becomes shy or fearful around everyone but the primary caregiver, and generally peaks before 18 months.
Toddler/preschool years: Children can be anxious and become emotional when a parent or primary caregiver leaves but can be distracted by activities with the caregiver or other children.
By age 5: Most children are secure enough to be left with a babysitter or dropped off at school without distress.
When feeling anxious about separation, young children exhibit many different behaviors, including:

Crying or whining
Clinginess (holding hand or leg, wanting to be held, hiding behind parent)
Shyness
Silence (instead of constant talking or babble)
Unwillingness to interact with others, even if they are familiar (other parent, grandparent, friend)
Situations such as moving to a new home, a change in caregiver, or the birth of a new sibling can trigger or exacerbate separation anxiety.

Under normal circumstances, separation anxiety is the temporarily distressing result of something all parents want and seek to maintain: bonding with their children. Because babies bond to primary caregivers, then realize their own selfhood (that they’re not part of Mommy, so to speak) before they develop a sense of time or learn to trust that an absent caregiver will return, they become anxious when Mom isn’t around. As children develop a sense of safety and security in their homes and with their parents, begin to realize that people can leave and return, and gain confidence that caregiver who promise to come back will in fact come back, separation anxiety usually fades. KidsHealth for Parents (Nemours Foundation) has a site that discusses separation anxiety in detail and offers practical comments for parents and other caregivers.

How can I ease a child’s separation anxiety?
Remember, separation anxiety is a normal stage of development. You won’t be able to head off every leg-cling or tearful goodbye, but you can help prepare your child for absences and do things to strengthen confidence and security about your return.

For babies and toddlers just learning to separate from primary caregivers, strategies include:

Have babysitters come before the child develops stranger anxiety. If you leave your baby with a sitter for short periods when they respond well to any caring person, they’ll become accustomed to being with different people.
Schedule separations after naps or feedings. Babies are more susceptible to separation anxiety when they’re tired or hungry.
Have a consistent primary caregiver. If you hire a caregiver, try to keep him or her on the job from the baby’s infancy into toddlerhood.
Practice separation for brief periods and short distances, increasing as the child can tolerate it. Praise the child for managing well. If your baby initiates separation by going into another (babyproofed) room, wait a few minutes before going after him; this will enhance his sense of independence.
Keep the child in familiar surroundings when possible. For example, rather than dropping your child off at your sister’s house for the evening, have your sister come to your house.
Make new surroundings familiar. Let your child become comfortable with new surroundings with you present. The first time you leave a child with a relative, for example, shouldn’t be the first time you and the child have visited that relative’s house. Allow your child to bring a favorite object of hers or yours.
Develop a “goodbye” ritual. Rituals are reassuring and can be as simple as a special wave through the window or a special kiss.
Have a calm, positive attitude. Babies and toddlers are sensitive to your moods and will pick up any tension in your voice, face, touch, or gestures. And don’t give in to the child’s tears, which are a ploy to get you to stay. If you keep running back when your baby fusses at being without you, that just reinforces the anxious behavior.
Tell your child when you go that you are leaving and that you will return, then go. Don’t stall or repeat goodbyes; that will just make your child more anxious and clingy. Tell the child where you’re going and when you’ll be back in terms he can understand. Conversely, don’t sneak away without saying goodbye; that will undermine the child’s sense that she can rely on you.
When your child is a little older, other things you can do to promote trust and a sense of security about separation include:

Listen to your child’s feelings. Let your child know that you understand his feelings and reassure him that you’ll return. A statement such as “I know you’re feeling sad. I’ll miss you too” is more helpful than telling a child that he’s making a fuss over nothing.
Read stories, role-play, and remind your child of successes. A number of children’s books incorporate the theme of separation anxiety such as The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn, Big Truck and Little Truck by Jan Carr, and I Love You All Day Long by Francesca Rusackas. Talk with your child about times when she was brave or did something independently.
Honor all commitments to your child, especially time commitments. Be especially attentive to picking up a child at the specified time or returning home when stated. Additionally, look for other ways to make and honor commitments, even small ones, to build trust and security.
Plan and talk about enjoyable activities in advance. Help your child prepare to be away and anticipate positive outcomes. Let your child know how you can be reached if necessary.
9 Parent-Tested Ways to Ease Separation Anxiety (Scholastic.com) provides tips from parents who have helped their children overcome separation anxiety.

Again, most children outgrow separation anxiety by about age 5 and are able to experience time away from home and parents with little or no distress. Some children, however, experience a continuation or reoccurrence of separation anxiety during their elementary school years. When that anxiety is inappropriate or excessive, interferes with normal activities, and lasts for weeks rather than days, it may be a good idea to have a child evaluated for separation anxiety disorder.