ok SRRY HERES THE POEM YALL!!!NO LINK!JUST POEM?

Question

I stared at you while we wrote during school.
I took my focus off of the teacher *giggles* and glanced at you every 5 seconds to see was you looking back.
I Dressed up for you.
I changed everything for you.
Did you notice me ?Did you care? Before you had her around your arm i was there , there trying to capture your heart with my beauty and beautiful flowing brown hair I always knew that i would try my best to be there.Been awhile now since you said your first word to me loving memories thought dreams wouldnt never come true but always remember this that i would have never left you.

LOVE THIS POEM YES I MADE IT!!!!!

Answer 1

okay..."to see was you looking back"...wow...do you talk this way? Apart from the fact that you are trying to capture someone's heart by being more beautiful than someone else...beauty is more than skin deep, isn't that what you women always say? yet you practice just the opposite...you tell us to look beneath the looks, but then do everything you can to outlook the girl next to you!

Okay, besides that, the poem...it reads like a love letter...which might have been your intent, and that's fine, perfectly fine...for a love letter, but not a poem. You stopped even trying to make line breaks and settled into just writing what you were really writing...prose..and that's okay for a love letter...but not for a poem.

I'm not putting you down, I'm not being mean...think about it, couldn't you have just written the entire poem as a single paragraph instead of even attempting a line break? the answer is "yes"...and that means it's prose. It is emotional prose, yes, almost poetic, but not poetry.

I admire your attempt at poetry, and it was a good one. Take what I said constructively, it was meant that way...if I didn't think you could improve, I just would have said, "it was okay", or "oh my god, it was fantastic, you should try to get that published"...but instead, I took the time to tell you how to make it better...at least I tried to do that.

keep writing...you have passion...channel it.

Answer 2

haha!! I like!! very cute!! i write poems like that too!! I have a few similar one!! Good Job, kudos to you!!!