USED and EMOTIONALLY ABUSED!Why AREN'T I WORTHY? It's rlly long but please HELP ME!?

Question

I was severely depressed a month and a half ago. I let myself get sexually taken advantage by my boyfriend and than I broke up with him but to make it worst BEGGED him to take me back. He of course did not because he was never serious about me..

Than there was my ex ex boyfriend, the one before this one.. We went out very beriefly but things ended rather abruptly. So I called him 2 years later to find some sort of closure. He agreed to meet up with me. We had our first kiss together that night! It was amazing. I text him a couple of days later "I wish i kissed you longer" and He text back '"Yea it was good" and than text again "I wish it was longer" Now, today, he text me if I wanted to hang out and I said sure but I have an early curfew but he never got back to me ALL DAY! He is leaving for college tomorrow. I guess I was just a BOOTY CALL. In all honesty, I felt like he was the love of my life..I never stopped caring/loving for him..I know its crazy but I felt like he was the one.

So realizing that I was just a booty call to him made me feel so stupid ESPECIALLY considering I loved him!!
I am going back into the severe depression state again. I know because I feel so unloved and unworthy of anyones love! I never had anyone love me before. I've always been single my whole life. I have been way too patient!! Where is the happiness? They say all bad thing end in happiness! I have yet to see it! I've only had two boyfriends in my life and I am 18! This is what they've done to me.

I don't have much friends either.They are twofaced and no one cares enough to call! My parents? Well, I never hear I love you from them. Maybe every 7 years or so they'd say it once. I feel so ALONE! I don't know what to do!? Every guy that ever showed interest turned out to only want sex! I am so sick of it! I always give my all in relationships, I show love, I buy gifts, cook, surprise, write sweet things!! What is wrong with me?

Answer 1

Happiness, true happiness, like the kind I believe you seek, can only come from one place - within. A mistake a lot of people make is they become what I like to call externally motivated, meaning they look outside, at other people's lives to determine what should run their own. The happiest people in the world, the ones who are natural and social and even successful in life, are internally motivated. they have set core beliefs that are unshakable.

There's so much philosophy that goes into this answer, but the nuts and bolts of it is this: the only one that can determine how much you are worth is you. your thoughts and opinions about yourself show, and other people pick up on that.

You have to love yourself and know you determine your value. Imagine this for me (really for you): If you lived a dream life, what would be in it? Who would be in it? Look passed your current house, your current status and use your imagination. How would your Ideal man see you? Do this with everything you see, and you will begin to love your surroundings, and most importantly, you will find the deepest kind of love for yourself.

Answer 2

I know this may not sound right coming from a guy but from what u tell me about ur self there is nothing wrong with u. It is the other people that cant seem to figure out how u deserve to be treated. I myself am a single parent i never dated much in high school i was afraid of the rejection i never really told anyone about it as i got older and seeing my friends relationships from the side and always being there for advice i learned a lot about how a woman should be treated. I do believe that everyone has that special someone they meet. I also think that you deserve the best and one day u will find that someone. Life never seems to deal us with good things but for some reason we all seem to be able to come out of it one way or another.
Like i said im a guy and if you dont believe me i do understand just want u to know that not all guys are like what u described.
Some people say that living life one day at a time seems to be the answer and when u stop looking for that special someone they seem to find u. so remember not to push everyone away i bet there are people that care about what happens with u
i really hope this helps u

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with you, please don't ever think that.You are a very loving, caring, and sensitive girl and there is nothing wrong with that or you because of that, that is who you are. I am 29 and I am in the same position you are in, I give my all in relationships and I put my whole heart on the table just like you do and I have never been loved back. I have had a few girls just use me for sex, yes girls do it too, and no, I don't like that. I don't care about sex, love is what I want. You have a couple of advantages over me, you are younger and still have a lot of time to find that guy who will love you, you are prettier and your a girl. I wish I was your age and knew you because you sound like the girl of my dreams. You will be loved one day, you just need to have patience and make sure the next guy you date loves you for who you are and not what is under your clothes. You are a very sweet and loving girl and you will find love, just don't give up and don't think something is wrong with you. To be honest, something is wrong with a guy who does not pick you up and hold you in his arms forever. I wish I could be of more help, and I truly wish you luck in the future to find someone who will love you.

Answer 4

Well, my young one, the people that have freely given their time to give you some semblance of an answer, are right. I, myself, have been in your shoes. It took me well into my thirties to figure out what others are telling you now. Love yourself first and don't settle for losers, even if they're cute. Take some time to get to know yourself. It sounds like you are a pretty good person. Just remember, love and happiness are out there for you. I'm proof, after many years of relationships like you've had, I found my guy and we've been together now for 13 years. It takes work, but we do it together.

Answer 5

there is nothing wrong with you. you seem like a very sweet and caring young woman. there is just something wrong with the guys. you will find someone awesome someday, you just have to look in the right places. obviously these past guys weren't worthy enough of you. you have your whole life ahead of you and everything will get better.

Answer 6

Don't make it so easy for the guys in your life. I'm not saying to be a tease, but people tend to want what they can't have. Play a little hard to get to make sure they're still looking your way.

Answer 7

You want to be loved ( and we all understand that) but you are trying too hard. You are worthy, but you have not learned to value yourself.

When you treat yourself like you are valuable, like you deserve respect, you will attract people who will respect and not use you.
Sorry.

Answer 8

I think that u have a habit of trying to please everyone but yourself. Stop trying to please these jerks and do things for them. What about u? "What is it that u want? Once u become ur own person and stop trying to change to please other people , you will attract positive people . Confidence and self respect starts with u.

p.s. no matter how positive we are, sometime sh*t just happens that can't be avoided.

Answer 9

You have to love yourself befor anyone can love you or you can love anyone else. You are so young. What's meant to be will alwyas find its way.

Answer 10

The real question is what is wrong with them.