Is it in our NATURE to INTERPET things NEGATIVELY? For some it's more severe than others.?

Question

Many times I look at the negatives and not the positives. I never look at the good things I do. Sometimes I think that these people absolutely HATE me when they Actually LIKE me a lot. Sometimes reality catches me by surprise and I am never prepared for it. A state of shock. I don't know whether to myself for answers or others. I can be my own enemy.

I am aware of low self esteem. Go beyond that. Deeper.

Answer 1

That's a question that psychologists and philosophers have been arguing about for millennia. You might think back and recall if there was ever a time in your life when you DID look at things positively. If you changed, try to figure out what was going on in your life that made you change. If you have always felt that way, some psychologists would say it's genetic--especially this psychologist Martin Seligman who says we are programmed to be positive or negative. I don't buy it, but he's written lots of books about it. He also says you can make yourself more positive if you try, so go figure.

Answer 2

Taya, If I were you I would use the word "apprehensively" instead of "negatively". Perhaps "cautiously" is a btter word.It is in the nature of things that all animals , including the humans to be cautious , all the time for survival.

Over these many mnay years , in the modern times this cautiousness has been more dominant . That is all.

Where does this negativity come ? It does. When we are cautious , we donot act immediately . We ponder , we hesitate.We fear . We feel we act against our inner urge. These all add up to our feeling of negativity. This nature , by itself , is not wrong or bad. What is bad is NOT acting at all.

Yes. By all means give value to this caution. But act . as you start acting in , say 10 issues , you may find that you getting it right in 8 issues. That gives you some confidence and you lower your guard. You become more assertive and you start to take chances. Your negativity , emenating out of fear will give way to positivity.

Answer 3

Pre-existing ideas and opinions affect our perceptions. We have thoughts, most often incredibly rapid, habitiual and originally based on emotion. They're slower when we're children because we're still learning and doing the long math in our heads. Similar situations present themselves, and we jump to previous experience. Manuals on cognitive therapy support this, with far more words and diagrams.

If you want to change the way you think, you need to change the way you think. That means taking action. It won't happen immediately, because your internal baises and reflexive thoughts weren't created overnight. You've told yourself a certain thing countless times over the years.

When you recognize a negative thought, you need to contradict it immediately and...loudly. I've had similar problems due to social anxiety disorder. When I hand myself a true pile of steaming horse manure, I have been known to say out loud, "Nope, not going to shovel that one. I am so much better than that.

People will think you're a tad odd if you have these conversations aloud in public, but a certain amount of eccentricity is both admired and self-entertaining. Aloud is always better, as we react more to what we hear AND think than what we think alone.

Perception is choice. That's why we can alter bigotry, prejudice, and to a certain degree the symptoms of mental illnesses. You say you never look at the good things you do. Accuracy matters in the quality of our preceptions. You occasionally view something about who you are in a positive light. The more accurate you are, the more you'll notice the positives.

Answer 4

I think it is learned. You hear people all the time saying be careful, look b4 u leap, Expect the worst, hope for the best. Then after you hear it, sooooo much you automatically start looking for the negative. You really have to teach yourself to look at the positive. Then it comes natural. It does not have anything to do with low self esteem.

Answer 5

I think it is a defensive mechanism we all carry. Especially in today's society where alot people cannot be trusted and we are always on the lookout for ourselves, so we think negatively, to prepared what bad stuff may happen. Don't worry alot of people think negative thoughts. My solution is do some soul-searching and find out why you interpret things on the negative side. I hope this helps!

Answer 6

No, that's unawareness. You're focused too much on negative thoughts. Next time you find yourself thinking that a certain person might hate you, think about the possibility that he might like you. That way, regardless of what they think about you, you'll never be caught be surprise because you considered all possibilities. You have to learn how to play with your mind.

Answer 7

The Will is positive, the Judgment is negative, the struggle in the two is life.


'Worth is that which most of all uplifts a man, which imparts a higher nobility to his actions and all his endeavours, which makes him invulnerable, admired by the crowd and raised above it.

But worth can be assured only by a profession in which we are not servile tools, but in which we act independently in our own sphere. It can be assured only by a profession that does not demand reprehensible acts, even if reprehensible only in outward appearance, a profession which the best can follow with noble pride. A profession which assures this in the greatest degree is not always the highest, but is always the most to be preferred.

But just as a profession which gives us no assurance of worth degrades us, we shall as surely succumb under the burdens of one which is based on ideas that we later recognise to be false.

There we have no recourse but to self-deception, and what a desperate salvation is that which is obtained by self-betrayal!

.......

If we have chosen the position in life in which we can most of all work for mankind, no burdens can bow us down, because they are sacrifices for the benefit of all; then we shall experience no petty, limited, selfish joy, but our happiness will belong to millions, our deeds will live on quietly but perpetually at work, and over our ashes will be shed the hot tears of noble people.'

Marx

Karl Marx

Reflections of a Young Man
on The Choice of a Profession[1]


http://www.marxists.org/archive/marx/works/1837-pre/marx/1835-ref.htm

Answer 8

I am very negative also, but I realise it is not a good thing and am trying to change it. For me its more looking at the negative in others.

Answer 9

I absolutely hear you. Constantly, my mind is running over alternating possibilites. And somehow it is programmed to view the negative thoughts as innevitable destinies, and dismiss positive thoughts, while they may be equally likely, as impossible.

Answer 10

No. But man it is a great way to avoid disappointment. Why be happy if it can be taken away? Why be positive if someone can ruin your day?

Negative self-talk is something that we would never say to others, but will tell ourselves repeatedly. (ie. thinking)