Do you ever walk into a relationship with your mind made up about what you want from this person...?

Question

...or do you go at it (laughs) to see what comes of it?

Can any option be possible? Or do you almost instantly put off a possible mate and move on to friendship? Or do you try to make friends first and later even if the person wan't that attractive to start with? Would you find yourself attracted to them anyway?

Answer 1

Neither one really.

Each person is different and unique in their own way, and I find it better (for myself personally) to be flexible enough to go with the flow and allow things to take place naturally in whatever course they take between another person and myself.

I used to have a system in developing "romantic" relationships (which is a common one) that consisted of:
1 - Friendship
2 - Dating (if I knew the person enough to begin to date him or her)
3 - Commitment (when I felt comfortable enough in the dating process to be open with such person)
4 - Intimacy (if I percieved there was mutual commitment)

But have come to realize, through time and experience, that, not only was I being a bit selfish in the matter, meaning that he or she had to adjust to my pace (instead of a mutual experience) and that no matter how much one tries to do things "the right way" or in some sort of social order, it cannot seal a perfect fate to any relationship.

Now, I just take it easy and not attempt to control the process in which another person and I will relate, but only prioritize getting to know that individual and allow for things to happen naturally between us, not perfectly, not systematically, just natural.

If it will happen (an eventual romantic relationship,) then great, and if it doesn't, it just wasn't for either one of us, which isn't a bad thing, just how things are in life sometimes.

Just want to add that I think we humans tend to complicate relationships, with these hard-to-get games and trying to impress each other. Interaction among humans doesn't have to be so dramatic or intricate, no matter the differences.

Answer 2

rather, this happens particularly usually in a relationship. You grow to be the guy you think of the different guy or woman needs. It virtually appears like your enjoying a place; appearing somewhat of being your self. Being your self is somewhat stressful to do: i do no longer likely understand who i'm, and no person rather does. i could say that as quickly as you go away the relationship, there is a few alleviation that is going alongside with it. Now, on your case you have 2 babies with this guy or woman. That shows a greater emotional bond plus the extra weight of what's terrific on your babies. If this guy or woman is stressing you out, than it's time to communicate to this guy or woman approximately it. you would be bowled over how an open and common communique can shop a relationship. If that doesn't artwork than it rather is time consistent with risk to go on and discover somebody you would be your self around. it rather is somewhat obtainable that your companion feels an identical way.

Answer 3

No. I don;t do anything like that . I have to get to know the person before I decide whether I want a friendship or something more serious with a girl.

Answer 4

Friendship first, romance can come later if you develop a trusting relationship at the beginning.

Answer 5

if i go in with a certain mind set i usually find myself disappointed or even hurt - thus my bandage.

Answer 6

definitely go at it..and hope for happiness, trust and love!