I'm so confused!! I've been married for 2 years and dated my husband for a year before that. I was 16 and he was 18 when we first started dating and I was so convinced that we were in love and meant to be together. He joined the Navy and when he was home for xmas we slept together and I ended up pregnant, so we got married. At first I was so sure that I made the right decision by marrying him, we were soul-mates. Then he got sent to iraq for 6months and when he returned things were different. I had been faithful but I'm not sure he had. And when I finally moved to where he was stationed, I got the feeling that the only thing we had/have in common is our daughter. The excitement to see him or touch him is gone. I miss having his company when he's gone, but I don't miss 'him'. I don't know what I would do without him, but I'm not sure its bc I love him or that he's like a habit. I need advice on how to tell the difference between being in love and just being. What do you think?
2007-08-10 14:45:57 · 9 answers · asked by mrs.confused2389 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Love is not always a feeling, it is a choice. Don't don't give up on him. Focus on showing him love even if it seems more like work at first. If you truly want to love him, your feelings will follow your choice. Marriage is work and your marriage will go through seasons but if you give up, then things will surely fall apart. Many people today are always looking at the grass on the other side of the fence only to find that they are just trading one set of problems for another set of problems.
2007-08-10 15:12:39 · answer #1 · answered by cindy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were married very young and had a child. It sounds like at one point you felt very close to him, but time apart and parenting can take a toll on any relationship. For the sake of your daughter and your own, you should try to revive what you once had. Most importantly, you need to tell him how you feel in a gentle manner. Maybe he is feeling the same way and together you can talk things out. If not, see a good marriage counselor. You may have to shop around for one. Until you know for sure that you want to stay together, don't get pregnant again! good luck.
2007-08-10 22:15:24 · answer #2 · answered by mab5096 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think many have said alot of what I was thinking. But the important thing is love! Having a child together means working it out no matter if you stay married or divorce. The most important thing NOW is having your child know and understand love. This may be with your childs father or with someone new, the point is to show the child love. Please remember that. If she does not see or feel love then how do you think she will react to love? I know that my mom and stepfather showed love to eachother while I was growing up. My husband's family did not. I know that he has a hard time at showing love and I do not. Part of what I am today is because I came from a loving family. What ever happens make sure your daughter knows LOVE!
2007-08-10 22:10:03 · answer #3 · answered by K B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking as a couples therapist, getting married prior to the age of 30 tends to result in much higher divorce rates. The reason is simple: people grow and change! After all, most folks don't stay with the same person they loved when they were only 16.
For more free relationship advice see http://www.hearts-and-kisses.com/relationshipadvice.html
2007-08-10 21:58:30 · answer #4 · answered by lovehealer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this and you don't want to hear it, but you were married way too young, before you knew anything about love or life or family or commitment. Now you are stuck with a bum relationship, no real sense of stability and without knowing if what you've done is right or wrong. It's tough for all married military people, and for newly weds especially, and for ones so young as you even more so. Try and stick it out so you can build something for your daughter. Divorce is tough on you, even tougher on children.
2007-08-10 21:55:36 · answer #5 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you don't know what you'd do without him (not trying to sound rude) but you rely on him for the $$$ and being there for your daughter - like a habit - but it's not the best reason to stay with someone.
I think you start deciding how you can take care of you and your daughter and leave him hun. Don't just settle for second best.
2007-08-10 21:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by ms_stolli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to do some growing up ... If he was in Iraq he had to grow up fast... that may be why he has changed......... ask him if he would like his freedom.......... tell him that you know things have changed , and if he says yes, then move on, get a new life .... but dont rush it......... you are so young, you need to continue growing up first........ I wish you the best......
2007-08-10 21:56:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
too young when you got married. good luck
2007-08-10 21:51:35 · answer #8 · answered by just hanging around 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask. Then you do not.
2007-08-10 22:04:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋