What should I tell my 15 year old son, should he fight or not?

Question

Before he ended ninth grade this year he was bothered by a group of boys. who hit him around, etc. I don't know what to tell him. If he fights he can be charged with assault AND suspended from school 5 days minimum even if your INVOLVED witha physical altercation.

Its not so much the suspension part but the assault part, my son has a lot to live for, he wants to complete college and ahve a profession in an extremely competitive job market. In order to have the bets chance of making it your record needs to be SPOTLESS.

Or should I tell him to fight so the kids wont think he is a pushover, etc.

HELP!

Answer 1

You can do this you can move your kid to a new school. But with that you will have to drive to that school or you can talk to the school that you move your kid to and see if they can give him a bus ride.
And if that dose not work you need to tell him to talk to teacher about what is going on. Also he is not a pushover if he dose not fight. Because he will get in move trouble if he dose fight. School is for learning so teach him to stay off around those people that would like to fight him. Have a good day and I hope you learn from this.

Answer 2

i'm a fifteen year old girl, and I had a similar thing, only it was verbal, not physical, until one day one of the girls got brave and decided that she would hit me. I managed to block her, and ran quickly before she had another chance. This happened a few times, and in the end the girl got expelled for other things. The rest of the group weren't nearly as brave, but when they tried things, I either didn't say anything and went away, or I had it out with them verbally. I think that's best because if no they could turn around and have me done for physical abuse. I think the best thing your son could do is make it clear he's not a pushover, but don't stoop down to their level by retaliating physically. That way, they'll hopefully get the message, but he won't end up being done for anything. I really hope that helps, and I hope your son finds the next school year much better. <3

Answer 3

I will assume he is still in high school and want to go to college. I am a little confused,only because there is a few kids so stinkin' smart they go to H.S and take college classed! So anyhow, I understand that y'all are in a really sticky situation here. The only thing I would suggest, and this is something I live by, is that if he is going to defend himself, make sure it's JUST THAT! Defense. There is no way he will get charged for assult.AND he has to make sure that if he does one day have enough and slug the living daylights out of some reject,he's got to do it with someone around that isn't bias to either one involved. Cover his a** if you know what I mean.

And if this has been an ongoing thing you have to cover yous as well and report it to whomever necessary.This way the right people know ahead of time that there is and has been a problem with a select few boys picking in your son. And that your son takes every ounce of energy to resist,turn the other cheek, walk away,whatever, toward these kids. So if and when the day comes and your son has enough and wails on some kid in defense, make sure there are witnesses to varify he was in fact defending himself!!!
It's really unfortunate this type of thing happens.Someone has to be the bigger person and I commend you for raising such a good boy for not reating this far!!!
Good luck girl.

Answer 4

I would encourage him not to fight. Hopefully he is a confident kid and involved in school activities, and if he is not, I'd highly recommend that. A large group of close friends will help this situation more than anything else.

If he does happen to come home and mention that the assault has occurred again, without telling him call his school the next day while he's there and report it, letting them know your son doesn't know a thing about you calling them. Make sure they know this has been going on for a while and you'd like your son to keep a clean record because he's a good kid. That way they have something ON RECORD to keep their eye out for.

You sound like such a great mom... your son should feel so proud to have you as his own.

Answer 5

I would never tell him to fight but if it happens be understanding and supportive. e needs to know that you are always on his side. You should inform the school if that group harasses him again this year right away SOO if a fight does happen you can tell them its their fault and they need to be more responsive. BUT when you talk to the school make sure you tell them you don't want to make a big deal, as in you don't want them all called in with your son and "talked" to. That would make it waayyy worse. retaliation is terrible. Just tell them you wanted them to know and that you think they should monitor that group in free times such as lunch, PE, study periods, or before and after school. They cant babysit everyone but they can be aware. Good luck and hopefully this year will go great for you and your son :)

If im right they wernt actually hurting him. They are pushing, tapping, knocking things out of his hands maybe, basically they are bugging the heck out of him. They probably wouldnt go so far as to start a real fight because they were testing the boundries the school is allowing them. You know like if they continually bug him and poke him or something thats all they wanted to do they do not want to actually fight your son. They were doingthings that if your son went to the office and said "John is always bumping into to me in the hall" your son would sound like an idiot. And the kids doing it know what they can basically do to totally bother and intimidate your son without getting into real trouble. Well anyway hopefully they will pick someone else to be there punching bag this year. oh and one more thing, they probably had no reason to pick on him, somehow it just happened.

Answer 6

This is really hard because if he fights he could get hurt or hurt someone else...but if he backs out I as a teenager would know that everyone would make fun of him...Even though I'm a girl my dad told me try not get in the fight but if it's necessary hit just one time then runaway as fast as you can...
I don't know if this will work but (Maybe a karate class,and tell the teacher about the problem so he can advise him on how to stop the fight...
good luck! e-mail me any questions! bye

Answer 7

Tell him not to fight. If they start to do anything, alert the school. You can tell them not to let that group of boys know that your son is the reason they're in trouble. They can say that they'll be watching them closely because they've heard they've been causing problems with other students. Protect your son as best you can. If that doesn't work, press charges, whatever you have to do, but do not tell your son that it's okay to be violent against them.

Answer 8

I'm 15 and my mom always says that if "they hit you first, you slug them back, because it's self-defense." He will get suspended probably. Colleges look at that stuff, but they won't base their decision on that one fight in ninth or tenth grade. It happens to the best of us. I'm not saying your kid should kid the **** out of everyone who looks at him weird, but if someone hits him, tell him to kick the dude in the nuts or the nose. The nose hurts really bad. Another option is have your son give the names of the kids who are bothering him, and talk to the principal. My mom talked to a kid to my middle school principal, and the kid never bothered me again.

Answer 9

if someone actually throws a punch or kicks him or does something to harm him in any way, he should defend himself for his own protection/safety, but he shouldn't look for a fight. If they're just bullying him like teenage boys do, he should just ignore them and not care about looking like a "pushover",or whatever because i believe it actually takes a much stronger man to walk away from a fight (like Gahndi). So,basically, fighting when it isn't absolutely necessary isn't worth the risk of ruining his future, but not fighting back when he should isn't worth a trip to the hospital. It all depends on how bad it is. But perhaps he should take a self defense class,or something,to be on the safe side because like my boyfriend told me, even if you may never need to fight, it's still good to know how,just in case

Answer 10

i was in this same perdicament earlier this year. What i did was pretty risky but it worked. I whent ahead and fought. It turned out that they were just bluffing about pressing charges. I was lucky though. You should just try talking to the other's parent(s) and make sure your son doesn't know about it.. If the school is talking about pressing charges then your son could just fight them while they aren't at school.