Why is it that a Catholic Priest is supposed to give couples marriage counseling...?

Question

when he has never been married? Priests have no knowledge of what a true relationship is all about... only hear-say.

Further, am I the only one that thinks requiring priests to be celebate has caused much of the sexual abuse priests have committed? It's just not natural for a person to have no sexual relations.

I think the protestant religions were on the right track by allowing pastors to be married, pastors to be women, etc.

While I am at it... why are most Catholic Churches so judegmental of people when it comes time to allow people into their congregations? Hypocrites....

Answer 1

+ Counseling +

An experienced and understanding priest can have thousands of hours of marriage counseling under his belt. He probably has heard every story several times. He knows what to say and how to say it. He will know more about real life marriage than most (not all) married couples.

Even young priests have taken counseling and psychology classes in their eight years of college.

+ Celibacy and Pedophilia +

According to mental health professionals, pedophilia is not connected to celibacy or homosexuality.

This very small group of child molesters would be just as sick or evil whether or not they had taken a vow of celibacy.

For more information, see "10 Myths about Priestly Pedophilia": http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/facts/fm0011.html

Some news about Protestant sex abuse cases: http://www.ewtn.com/vnews/getstory.asp?number=79936

+ Celibate Clergy +

Priests, religious brothers and religious sisters (nuns) as part of their vocation choose not to marry following:
+ The practice recommended in the Bible
+ The example of Jesus Christ, John the Baptist, and the Apostle Paul.

+++ Scripture +++

In Matthew 19:12, Jesus says, "Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it."

In Matthew 19:29, Jesus says, "And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more, and will inherit eternal life."

Matthew 22:30 - Jesus explains, "At the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like the angels in heaven."

In 1 Corinthians 7:1, Paul writes, "It is a good thing for a man not to touch a woman."

Then in 1 Corinthians 7:7, Paul says, "Indeed, I wish everyone to be as I am."

In 1 Corinthians 7:27, Paul writes, "Are you free of a wife? Then do not look for a wife."

In 1 Corinthians 7:32-33, Paul teaches, "I should like you to be free of anxieties. An unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But a married man is anxious about the things of the world, how he may please his wife." And in verse 38, "So then, the one who marries his virgin does well; the one who does not marry her will do better."

Paul recommends celibacy for full time ministers in the Church so that they are able to focus entirely upon God and building up His kingdom. He “who refrains from marriage will do better.”

See also 1 Timothy 5:9-12, 2 Timothy 2:3-4, Revevation 14:4, Isaiah 56:3-7, and Jeremiah 16:1-4.

+++ Scriptural Examples +++

Biblical role models of a celibate clergy came from John the Baptist, Jesus, and the Apostle Paul.

John the Baptist and Jesus are both believed to have been celibate for their entire lives. Some scholars believe that the example of the Essenes influenced either or both Jesus and John the Baptist in their celibacy.

WWJD? What would Jesus do? Jesus did not marry.

The Apostle Paul is explicit about his celibacy (see 1 Cor. 7). There is also evidence in the gospel of Matthew for the practice of celibacy among at least some early Christians, in the famous passage about becoming “eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 19:12).

The concept took many twists and turns over the years and will probably take a few more before Christ returns in glory.

A priest is "married" to the Church. Some people think that a priest who takes his duties seriously cannot take proper care of a wife and family. "A man cannot serve two masters."

+ Joining the Church +

I do not understand your last comment. The Church accepts anyone who wishes to come into full communion with her.

+ With love in Christ.

Answer 2

Priests are trained in counseling like other therapist types. A Therapist might counsel a homosexual couple without being one themself.

Personally, I think the priesthood is a place where a gay man can be accepted within Catholicism. Same with gay women in the sisterhood.

Separately, a pedophile can also join up hoping to "cure" himself and get salvation from his sinful thoughts. Of course you cannot pray this away.

Years ago, Catholic priests and bishops, etc, WERE allowed to marry. But they were passing parishes and high positions onto their sons much like lords of the land back when would pass on their titles, so the church said no more marriage. Also, it a married minister converts, he may be a priest and stay married.

There are many religions that make you jump thru a few hoops to join. They want to make sure you are sincere. Also, many religions are judgemental and hypocritical.

Answer 3

I also have issues with the Catholic religion. I was born and raise catholic, but I agree priest should be allowed to marry. As for your original question, I think the reason for the counseling is to be sure both individuals are ready for this life-time commitment with each other. Once you get married in the eyes of the church you are married til death due you part, even if you are legally divorced.

Answer 4

First of all a priest has given up his life to God, so its like being married, the vows are extremely similar so to say he wouldnt understand the meaning of commitment, and the struggles that it takes at times to uphold that commitment would be wrong. Not only that but if u actually read the bible theres alot on marriage, where do u think the vows come from that u take during a marriage ceremony? Maybe if people actually lived up to those vows that they took that they are suppose to live by EVERYDAY and not just when its convient to them, maybe there wouldnt be a need for marriage counseling in the first place. So if anyone knows about the sacrafices of a TRUE commitment/ and the word of the lord, it would be a priest..or any other christian leader that devotes themself to the lord he sacrafices alot to be a priest..

And to the statement about sexual abuse.. u think only priests do that ? lol to funny.. humm what about the countless other religions that u dont hear about cause they only make local news and not national news, ever wonder why they target the Catholics as much as they do? politics , The pope has always been a target because so many honor him.. it is a great honor, where have u ever seen any other relgion have such mass of people honoring one religious human figure ? U need to start thinking with a different outlook things arent always as black and white as they seem.. And although there are priests that have done horrible things, so have rabi's , pastors, and other religious leaders, u just dont hear about them as much.. and as for u thought that if they were married the sexual need would be fixed , ha.. ive heard of plenty of pators that cheated on their wives with other women and were kicked out of their congragation.. so their all not innocent there, and i heard on the news that a pastor actually had adopted kids that he kept locked up.. and starved etc.. , give me a break, it just doesnt make National news unless its seriously bad, and if their Catholic.. so now the media has made the whole religion look bad based on a handful that were wrong.

Do i believe priests should have the right to get married? Thats not for me to say, i think it comes down to faith and belief and no one forces them with a gun to be a priest its their decision, u dont hear u say anything about Nuns that marry god and are celebate.. ur only focus is on the priest.. alittle closed minded of u..

And yes i am catholic, im not a bible thumper by any means, i believe what i believe, and i dont knock anyones religious beliefs as long as they arent doing anything to hurt someone.. so as far as ur comment about catholic churches being judgemental of people i dont know where u get that from.. because its not like they have a guard at the church doors asking for their secret password or something lol..And u dont see us going door to door begging for people to come to our church , like u do alot of other religions so no one forced u or anyone else to come to a catholic church it would be your choice do so.. Ive never ever met a priest that has ever turned anyone away, they may be harsh with u if they feel that ur not living up to Gods expectations, but sometimes the truth hurts.. whether its from a priest or not..

Answer 5

I think the idea of having a priest be unmarried was so that they would have no loyalties divided. A priest was supposed to love everyone equally, not have one person they valued more than others. They are meant to serve, after all.

That impartiality is supposed to make a priest a good counselor.

Besides which, the sacrifice of sexual relations was supposed to allow them to be closer to God. A celibate priest has nothing but time to devote to religion.

Yes, I agree that sexual repression is a large cause of abuse. I do not agree that a priest has to be celibate to be devoted to service and to religion. But I bet allowing priests to marry would give them a high divorce rate. It would be hard to be married to a man who puts God and the rest of humanity first.

And yes, Churches all over are hypocritical when they refuse to allow anyone to worship. If God loves us all and made us who and what we are, that should mean the God loves us all as he made us.

Answer 6

Back in the 1400's and before, priests did marry and have families.
I'm not Catholic, but if I was, the last person I would seek out marriage help from would be a priest. It's a bit out of their league, and with no experience, it's ironic to seek advice from them in this area. I'm sure that many of them, but not all, spew out a bunch of memorized lecture materials.

Answer 7

I wouldn't ask a catholic priest for anything. As well, I wouldn't ask any religious person of any christian religon for advice. Their point of view is that a bad marriage can be "worked on" to be saved. Essentially, you would be living a life of dishonesty because you are with someone that doesn't actually love the other person. It doesn't make sense.

Answer 8

Yes, the Priests are holy. His Holiness, Pope Paul VI prophesied about the "Objectification of Women" and the "Degrading of Man" with the advent of "Birth Control" and legalized "Abortion". His encyclicals eloquently nailed all the modern problems on the head and this was over 40 years ago!!! Priest are NOT "immune" to humanities issues. However, since they're not running around in the mad world of "soap-opera" type drama that we're all in, they seem to be able to think clearer about situations ... kinda like a second opinion when you think "I'm the fool who's in love" ... priest are great at objectively looking at situations since they're not knee deep in the emotions or spiritual conflict themselves (hopefully anyways).

Answer 9

nothing wrong them counseling married couples, if anything they are more objective because they are not married, basically if you do not agree with the Catholic churches rules, then go seek another religion that you do agree with and stop your criticizing of a very long standing and one of thee most popular religions