What kind of outdoor adventures can a camping Dalek have?

Question

Off to the woods, folks! I'm already suffering Internet withdrawal. Aaarggh, I'm DYIN' here!!

See y'all Sunday night! :)

Answer 1

He just couldn’t take it anymore. The tent had fallen on him three times already; there was no position possible that did not involve a razor sharp rock at the small of his back, and worst of all… a thorough inspection of the cooler had revealed an unmistakable lack of pickles. So Alec the Dalek exited the tent by the light of the moon, determined to head off in search of civilization. Surely there was an internet connection within walking distance, right? How far could it really be to the nearest jar of pickles? And failing all that, there must at least be something to exterminate within a mile radius. Perhaps a cursory extermination of the nearby outhouse before setting off on his adventure would make him feel better about the universe in general.

It was the wee hours of the morning… that quiet and peaceful time of day when the dew tickles your ankles as you walk, except that Daleks don’t have any ankles. At the edge of the forest, Alec met a friend.

“I’m Roscoe the Raccoon,” said Roscoe the Raccoon cheerfully.

A bit too cheerfully actually, so Alec the Dalek exterminated him. There. He was starting to feel better already. It wouldn’t do to wander through the woods allowing the morning to be peaceful when you haven’t got any ankles. Alec the Dalek certainly hoped there were more friends around. (Buford the Bunny Rabbit held his breath until the Dalek passed.)

Alec had really thought the outhouse was closer than this, but that was only because he didn’t realize the author had since decided the outhouse was the final destination, rather than a stop along the way.

Fenworth the Fox was sleeping peacefully when Buford the Bunny Rabbit came bounding into the foxhole gibbering nonsensically about the maniacal killing machine, the tragic fate of Roscoe the Raccoon, and how something must be done. Fenworth the Fox listened just long enough to get the gist of things before having Buford the Bunny Rabbit for breakfast. Poor Buford, he thought to himself, so worked up about Roscoe’s death he forgot I’m a carnivore.

Still, it wouldn’t do to have a Dalek on a rampage in the otherwise peaceful forest, so Fenworth the Fox slyly set off in pursuit. He witnessed the exterminations of Wilhelmina the Weasel, Benjamin the Beaver and Sarabel the Possum (served her right for having a name that didn’t start with the proper letter, anyway). Then he witnessed the exterminations of Deonica the Deer, Tyrone the Tiger and Stella the Starling. Okay, so he probably oughtta thank the Dalek for getting rid of the tiger—how exactly did a tiger wind up in the Midwestern US anyhow!? But starlings make good eating, dammit, this had gone far enough. Fenworth the Fox had a plan. (Good thing too, ‘cuz this story was starting to get rather long.)

With the help of Oliver the Owl and Terrence the Termite, Fenworth moved the outhouse further down the trail to the very edge of a cliff jutting out above a deep ravine of jagged rock far below. Fenworth was quite proud of the new sign he’d fashioned for the front door:

Ғ3Nω0яtH tҺε ƒoX’s
CyβeЯ KαғЄ & pIcĸLə sT4nd

Alec the Dalek couldn’t believe his luck! What better way to follow up a killing spree than a few hours spent in Answers with an endless supply of pickles at hand!?

No sooner had the Dalek entered, than Terrence the Termite nudged the outhouse right over the edge. Fenworth the Fox was pretty upset that he didn’t get to do that bit himself, but it just wouldn’t have conjured the same pleasing mental imagery.

The remaining animals were jumping up and down in celebration… prematurely of course, because anybody who knows anything knows that Daleks can “El-E-Vate!”

So our hero Alec the Dalek—Come on now, did you really think Fenworth was the hero?—spent the rest of the weekend cutting a swath of destruction from Canada to Mexico, exterminating every cutesy little woodland critter from Terrence the Termite on up through Montague the Moose.

And consequently he’ll be even more tired at work this Monday than he was last Monday =).

(Hope you enjoyed your weekend!)

Answer 2

Have a great adventure. Something tells me if you stay still too long that the bees will start using you as a hive. So I recommend you keep moving along the hiking trail. If not.... the bees will start making honey then you are screwed when the bears start coming by. Don't be deceived by Winnie the Pooh. Not all bears are cuddly puffs all stuffed with fluff. So be careful and have a groovy cool Delek'table time!! :)

Answer 3

ok dalek, i don't really know what daleks do in the woods, nor do i care at this point. what i DO know, is that sally and i are slaving away at buk's place cleaning up second generation dog biscuits that he says YOU leave all over the place.
sigh
boy, do i hope you're having fun, dalek. you didn't tell us you were an alien 'dog' is the marriage still legal?
i'm only sayin'.....

Answer 4

After crushing a nest of endangered sandbirds driving over the dunes in your Humvee, parking in the ranger's spot, setting fire to a stand of sequoias, and stealing electricity from a nearby children's hospital, you laughed...am I close? Just a suggestion...have a great time :)

Answer 5

Gherkin hunting......Dominate the Squirrels....and my personal favorite for your camping buddies..

Dalek Sleeping Bag Dutch Oven!!!......

Answer 6

Kick back. Relax. Have a few cold ones, and target practice with the empties. Hurry back!

Answer 7

Bye, have a good time. Let us know how it is in the outside world. I'll hold your space for you while you are gone!!

Answer 8

Have a Dalek of a GOOD Time !!
See ya later,,,,,,,,Enjoy !!

Answer 9

Stay out of the rain.

Answer 10

"peel off" the body armor...

get a tan
go river rafting
try wade fishing

(try not to "kill" the moment, mate)