My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for a long time and emotionally it is hard on us both. What can I say or do to make it a little easier for her?
2007-08-10 12:32:18 · 12 answers · asked by timber1033 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Only you know your wife and what will help her through this, but I have been TTC for 3+ years so I can give you some ideas of things that have helped me over the years.
It helps when my husband has hope for us, for example, he says things like "WHEN we have a baby..." instead of "IF, we have a baby".
He talks to me about what he is thinking. He attends all the drs appts with me and afterwards he always wants to discuss how things went, asks questions, and is just a part of the process in general.
He usually is pretty in tune to when my period is due and when I will be testing for pregnancy and he does nice things for me around that time--bringing home dinner, asking me to a movie, bringing me flowers.
He doesn't get mad or fight with me when my period does come and I'm feeling crappy--he just lets me complain.
I think you've already shown that you are a caring husband just by taking the time to find ways to help your wife.
2007-08-10 12:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by jilldaniel_wv 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can tell her you love her and you support her, that you want this as much as she does. You can do nice things for her when her period begins and she knows she isn't pregnant. Other than that there isn't much you can do for her that you aren't already doing. My husband and I have one child, an 8 year old. We have been trying for another for 5 years. I have gone through two surgeries and a round of medicine for endometriosis. I have gone through 6 months of fertility treatments. I have had one miscarriage. In the beginning of all of this I was very positive and would always say "it will happen when the time is right". It hasn't happened. I try to seem like I am alright but sometimes I am not. No matter what my husband, family, or friends say it doesn't make it all better.
2007-08-10 19:59:39 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly both of you need to stop stressing because that is a huge problem when trying to conceive. I stressed for 9 months and finally I said forget it and I got pregnant. Make sure shes take prenatal vitimans and staying healthy. Not stressed and have fun trying. I know easier said then done but I bet it will help both of you. Also if you have been trying for over 12 months both of you need to get checked out just to make sure everythings all right. Tell her everything will be ok all you can do is try. Check out this site
2007-08-10 19:41:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your support and showing you care are the best things you can do. Also, talking with your wife and sharing your feelings and listening to hers will be very helpful. This experience can cause a large strain on you personally but it will also take a toll on your marriage if you do not open up and share it together. You took the first step seeking insight and I'm sure you both will be fine. There are some great websites that you can also visit in regards to infertility and they really help in explaining your emotions, etc. Good luck.
2007-08-10 19:45:27 · answer #4 · answered by Kel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to help her relax. It makes it more difficult if she's stressed. I know it's difficult. My husband and I have been trying to conceive and at times it can very difficult emotionally because we want it so bad. It will happen when the time is right. Just do your best to both be relaxed and not to focus on it so much that you both become more stressed. Good luck to you both.
2007-08-10 19:42:57 · answer #5 · answered by angelamc31 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reassure her that you love her whether or not you have children. It doesn't take parenthood to make a family. Let her know how happy you are just to have her and how special she is to you. Take some time and spend it just appreciating each other. The bonus is that it will relieve stress (stress can temporarily reduce fertility). You will also gain new respect for each other. Don't put so much pressure on either of you and just relish what you have until you get that which you want.
2007-08-10 19:41:09 · answer #6 · answered by mommy again 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummmm...well, stop by and leave me an email. I have some ideas that I offer my patients that are trying as well. My name is Stephanie, m email is Learyfreena2007@Yahoo.com. If you don't mind me asking you...how often do you have intercourse? a mistake a lot of couples make and I will tell you why. Also, what all are you open to? (in terms of intercourse) get at me soon. Love to help you. When yo see her though tell her that I said to relax...so important.
2007-08-10 19:43:16 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not much you can do or say. Just being there for her is a huge help. This type of situation can either hurt or help a relationship, make sure you are using it to bring you closer as a couple.
2007-08-10 19:40:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there really is nothing you can say just show her that you love her and that it will happen when the time is right and if not there is always adoption if you can afford that maybe get her a puppy or something to keep her mind off of it good luck
2007-08-10 19:42:25 · answer #9 · answered by mother to Eva Nicole 4/25/08 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be thier for her and let her know that you support her and love her..Talking helps alot and sometimes just taking a break can help as well..i got pregnant three times..when i wasnt even expecting it or planning it :D
2007-08-10 19:39:19 · answer #10 · answered by angelic_alicia_77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋