A poem about I.M.P.E.R.F.EC.T.I.O.N??

Question

the call to perfection,
is a call,
which my hand would answer,
but, my heart won't,
when every part of my heart and soul,
crying to fly,
i was brought back to earth,
by the rope that bounds me,
to my duty of perfection,
it felt so hard,
when you try to be,
what they want you to be,
if they could only try,
try to see that i'm just,
nothing more or nothing less,
than just a human being,
but, what can i do?
than just to smile and go along,
wishing that my heart,
could just do the same....

my inspiration if you must know is practically about me,my everyday life..my feelings and emotions..sometimes it is better to express it through words.

UMM, to weirdo 1o3..yeah sure you can print it and put it on your wall..thanks anyway..

Answer 1

Okay, you've been told how good your poem was, now here's the rest of the story.
The first three lines can and should be consolidated. You state there is a call twice...why? Why not just say, "If only my heart would agree with my hand and answer the call to perfection"? Then you repeat the heart thing again when you say heart and soul...why not just say, "When every part of my body and soul cried out to fly, I was brought back to Earth by duty's rope that binds me to perfection"...there are many things that might be changed...below is just one way it might be done...I hope it gives you some ideas:

If only my heart would join with my hand
and answer perfection's call
When every part of my body and soul
cried out to fly, I was brought back
by duty, a rope that ever binds me
I try to be what they want me to be
But how can I be more than human
So perfect in my imperfection?
So I perfectly smile my what-can-I-do smile
Going along with perfections call
Wishing my heart would join my hands

hope this helps

Answer 2

i theory i became a o.ok. author till I examine this, you're only approximately too stable. that's a sprint dark, yet sometime existence is this way. this must be in a poetry e book, you ought to post this, you have a modern-day. Its so discriptive and amazingly rhymes. My poems look so trouble-free now, perhaps i'm going to deliver one in and notice what you think of. great pastime, you should be very happy with your self.

Answer 3

e.e. cummings would be proud of this. We humans are prone to mistakes. It is because of this that we need God. It is not up to us to be perfect but to utilize our talents in the best way that we can to elevate the spirit not only of ourselves but of those around us. This is what God wants of all of us. I hope these words will be even more inspiration to you for the poetry you have contributed thus far.

Answer 4

Beautiful!

Answer 5

I love it! I would just change bounds to binds in line 8.

Answer 6

I think that this line...

which my hand would answer,
but, my heart won't,

Would make more sense as...

which my heart would answer,
but, my hand won't,

Because the heart knows perfection
but the hand is subject to imperfection.

Thats what I think.

Answer 7

Again another one with the lower case i's.

I like this poem sad how humans are.

Answer 8

Your poem is nothing short of a TREASURE! I am delighted to have dined on such a delicious mind dish!

Answer 9

i really like this. and i was wondering, could i print it and post it on my wall? i have a ton of pictures and poems that mean alot or that i can relate to, so i was wondering if i could with yours...?

Answer 10

I love it! It is very expressionate and I love to write poetry myself so I can relate to it! What was your inspiration?