What do yo think of this poem?

Question

Don't you know you're hurting the family
Don't you know you're hurting me
All of your faces are so scary
and all of those hurt me
dont you see that we all know
that we all know your a killer
you leave with the keys and kill all of us
you leave us hurting like a knife to the chest
i wish you could see
how your breaking me
if there is a god why is he doing this to me
this is not my life
i want out
please just stop your killing us


this poem is for my dad with a substance problem

Answer 1

Very strong. Did you hand this to him?

Answer 2

yes! i think it's wonderful. i know exactly how you feel because my father has a cocaine addiction problem, and we have to hide all valuables and money, everything that he might sell so that he can get money for drugs because he can't keep a job because the minute he got his pay check he would blow it all and then wouldn't go into work the next day because he would have to sleep off he high. he doesn't support me at all. he doesn't pay a freakin dime for my $12,400 high school tuition and when i go to college i am sure he won't pay for that. luckily my mom has a great job and is able to support 3 people, and we can still have some luxuries.

just remember like my mom tells me. the poem won't make that much of a difference. he is in denial of his problem. and until HE wants to change nothing (not even pain from his own family) will stop him.

Answer 3

If this poem is from you to your dad in an attempt to make him aware of how he's affecting your family, then the only thing I'd suggest is that you check your spelling. It needs to have that original, unpolished quality to it, and any editing that changed a single word would diminish the honesty and phrasing that was "you" when you wrote it. Why bother with spelling...because you don't want him to focus on anything that allows him to be distracted from the subject of the poem. Put apostrophes in "don't" and "you're" before "a killer" and before "breaking me" and before "killing us"...also, put a comma after "just please stop,".

I wish you luck with this...I hope it helps...and remember, regardless of how it turns out, it isn't your fault, you tried, and "even this will pass away"

Answer 4

I love your poem. My mother has a substance problem to I just gave up trying to help her. I always come out looking like the bad one. All I can do is keep her in my prayers. I wish that I had the courage like you did to reach out to other adults,kids, teenagers that are going through the same like you and I