WATERDOOM
Pulling through the muddied grounds of Vaduz,
cannon wheels stuck in scarred chocolate mousse,
Remnants of their former glory
abandoned in liveried chocolate boxes
Twisted ,untwisted, chewed and disgarded
childish fear for such a mentors measure
holy houses for the insane treasure
Mata Hari glorious risen
Powder black, powder black, powder black
red mists through powder black
Soon this the moments dread.
2007-08-10 08:54:29 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
I don't know...Dutch and Swiss chocolate trade espionage during World War I? Not much fighting in Vaduz.
The poem is very good.
Early on, I was hoping for Napoleonic...Russian mud thick like chocolate..
2007-08-10 09:35:13 · answer #1 · answered by TD Euwaite? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, Valduz is the capital of Liechtenstein...but you reference Mata Hari...so it's not the 15th century war, nor WWII since she was a WWI spy. hmmm, still the images are there of german and french involvement in an once Austrian principality...Waterloo is in Belgium...hmmm.
In any event, there were good images throughout...one too many chocolates and "untwisted" should probably be replaced with another, more powerful word..."mentor's", not "mentors", and in the last line, if I read it right, should have a comma after "this" and "this" should either be in quotes, capitalized, or have an exclamation mark after it...if I'm reading it correctly...if not, then it's not clear and you need to edit it anyway.
good thoughtful poem
2007-08-11 23:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did someone mention chocolate mousse? Molskis favourite.
2007-08-10 18:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by Baroness von green putty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
*Clap! Clap!! Clap!!!*
Very Unique!!
2007-08-10 16:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by Freeman 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋