When we first got together there was nothing that got in the way of having sex. Now it seems that with work, school functions and athletics our sex life is too tired to happen often enough. Ladies, I need some advice on what I can do to help get things re-organized so we have time for our sex life. We have talked about it and both agree that life happens but then it's right back in the rut again. Any words of wisdom?
2007-08-10 08:47:09 · 11 answers · asked by kba1a 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My fiance and I have been together for 3 years and used to ask ourselves this question all of the time -- even went through a period where it started to come between us. We're relatively young in our mid 20's, both have careers, both finishing up our masters degrees, have a 2 year old child, and our own network of friends. At the end of the day -- we're exhausted.
What we've found helps us at the moment is actually scheduling time together -- which usually leads to interesting activities. At least once a week we make sure that we have some quality alone time together, and get a little creative about what we do. We also have learned to flirt again -- not quite the whole shebang, but it keeps the anticipation flowing until we have another date.
It's hard to find your balance, but it can be done. Good luck.
2007-08-10 09:00:45 · answer #1 · answered by Jane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So many people can't find the time and then end up having affairs. I'm not saying you or your wife will I'm just saying we don't make it enough of a priority. If you both want it desperatley enough you will make the time. It can be really late at night, first thing in the morning, even in the shower. The key is making it a big focus again. Then you will figure out where to make the time. Flirt with her all day long, leave notes for her, let her know what you want to do to her. My husband will call from work and say he can't stop thinking of me (or specific parts of me LOL) when he does you can bet I'll be sure to stay up until he gets home. We are working, going back to school and dealing with our 5 kids. You got to get it where you can. We have had scheduled times in the past but lately the we are both desiring it so much that it's becoming a priority on its own.
2007-08-10 10:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by Jessie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U just have to make time. It's either, put a function on hold, or take a break from studying, or go to bed later. IT's all about sacrifice. Right now, ur sex life is the sacrificial thing for u...and u guys are unhappy about it, so just think about something u could live w/o for a while. Plan it out, and let it take place of something ur doing already that u could do w/o for right now. Just schedule it in.
2007-08-10 09:02:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see two questions here. The first answer is easy. You MAKE the time.
The second is how to get her into it. That is also easy. You make an effort to get her anticipating sex. Leave her a note one morning that says: See me Saturday night at 10pm in our bedroom. Wear something sexy and bring a nickle. Now she'll be thinking about this for several days wondering what you have in mind. Who cares what the nickle is for, it was just a prop to make her wonder. Don't screw it up by giving her a wham bam either. Go the extra step and light a couple of candles a few minutes before she comes in.
2007-08-10 09:16:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I dont know if I am full of wisdom, but here is what I would do. I would talk to my significant other, and discuss, AT LEAST two nights a week, that no matter what plans, cancle them. At least two nights a week you can get together and have your intimacy time. Life is hard, and with people in school it makes it harder. Plan out your scheduale. Thats the main thing you can do!
2007-08-10 09:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by carrissa b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You honestly just need to prioritize. MAKE time for sex even if it means giving up a bit of study time or a bit of sleep. I am not sure what you both do for work, but if possible, work less hours. Life is all about choices, if sex is truly important, you will find the time. Good Luck!
2007-08-10 08:55:37 · answer #6 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It needs to be made a priority, not just something you squeeze into the schedule when you have a few spare moments.
Anything that is really important to us, we can usually make time for...what can be cut back or eliminated so that you can have time as an intimate couple?
Life does happen, but it only gets in our way when we let it.
2007-08-10 08:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is what you have to do...just you. I've been there and I'm still there...Take all your resentment, all you frustrations and picture youre girl like you just met her. Be overly nice and loving. When shes on the couch, just rub her feet and legs and dont expect anything.
Give her the sign that you can love her without wanting to stick your pecker in her.
Hopefully shell start coming around...my wife is. Also start calling her out..If she does something like Pull away from you ask her why...If she still lacks affecxtion tell her your concerned that shes depressed and that your worried your going to lose her, unless things improve...you might be surprised what she says..or not...not everything is meant to be...but at least you know you gave it your all instead of moping and feeling sorry about yourself..
2007-08-10 08:59:49 · answer #8 · answered by Slappy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take more interest in these things, and don't treat them like they're mere nuisances that get in the way of sex. There's more to life than sex, really...
2007-08-10 08:54:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Change your ideas about when and where it should take place, find a place with a lock and go for it.
2007-08-10 08:55:44 · answer #10 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋